The One That Got Away
by horseaholic
Summary: Post Rent. Sequel to Light In Your Eyes. Please read that first. A year after Mimi died, someone special reenters Roger's life and their story begins again. RogerOC, MarkOC, MoJo, CollinsOC.
1. 5,256,000 Minutes

Standard disclaimers apply. I don't own Rent. Jonathan Larson does. I think we're all in agreement with that because my imagination is just not that brilliant or genius. The only characters I own are Melanie Schwartz and Madeline Rose Davis. Oh, and I also don't own the Adam Pascal song which is this story's title. And the chapter title is a playoff of "Seasons of Love", so I also don't consider it mine. There, now I think we're all happy. Enjoy chapter 1 of "The One That Got Away", the sequel to "Light In Your Eyes". I'm still around. :)

"That was great, Roger," Mark said, looking at Roger, as he finished playing "Light in Your Eyes", his new song, at the loft.

"Yeah, Rog, when did you write that?" Collins asked, looking at Roger.

"Thanks, Mark," Roger said, smiling at him. He looked at Collins. "I wrote it right after Melanie left."

"Ah," Collins said, suddenly feeling an old chill go through his body. The conversation stopped awkwardly. Roger had a long past with Melanie, one none of them tried very hard to remember these days. "It's a great song. You should be more inspired more often." He was dodging the touchy subject and he knew it.

Roger seemed to notice. "Yeah, well, I'd rather not," he said, suddenly irritated. He got down from the window seat and took off his guitar and set it on the table. He had too much on his mind to write a song right now.

Roger had a reason to have a lot of things on his mind. Mimi had passed away a year ago to a drug overdose. They had found her in the park on Christmas Eve of 1990, where she had been living for three weeks, with barely any food, no shelter, and very little clothing. She was near death, but the ambulance got there in time. She was admitted to Bellevue Medical Center, where she entered rehab and had left for a while to get clean. But she dropped out shortly after starting the program and disappeared, leaving only a note, saying heroin had turned into her life, and she no longer cared about anything else, not even Roger. By the time they found her in the park the second time, on January 31, 1991, Mimi was already dead. They buried her next to her best friend, Angel.

Roger hadn't been the same since. What had been a happy, carefree, stubborn and protective Roger had turned into a walking zombie. He stayed in the loft twenty-four hours a day, sitting in a depression, plucking on his guitar, on which he hadn't had any inspiration for new songs since Mimi's death. He barely ate, barely slept. He just existed in the world, drifting through life, and barely even that. Mark, Collins, and the others tried so hard to persuade him to get out of the house, but it barely did any good. Sometimes he would go for walks, which got him outside, but he would always return, sit down on the window seat, and sulk, and things would go back to the way they were before.

Roger sighed and looked out the window of the loft, down onto the street. He saw a young girl with long brunette hair standing on the sidewalk. A tall man seemed to be bothering her. She looked like she was about to cross the street.

Roger frowned, concerned. His instincts were telling him to help her. He always helped women, no matter who they were. It was part of who he was. If he didn't, he felt bad.

"Mark, I'll be right back," he said, glancing at Mark.

"OK, Rog," Mark said, not questioning his friend's sudden reason to leave.

Roger stood up and went out of the loft. He quickly went down the stairs and outside. Now he could hear the woman yelling at the man. Right as he got there, the man pushed the woman backward, into oncoming traffic. Roger broke into a sprint and pulled her back onto the sidewalk, unhurt.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you fucking crazy?" Roger yelled at the man furiously. He wanted so badly right then to knock the guy out or worse. But he held back his fists.

"She's accusing me of leaving my own kid home alone," the man said, "as if that were something I'd actually do."

"I know it is!" the woman yelled. "You leave Madeline home alone when she gets home from school, just so you can go to bars and get drunk and get into fights and a whole bunch of shit. I want no part of this shit anymore. I want you out of our lives for good."

"All I'm asking for is one date. Just one damn date, to fix things up," the man yelled. "Why are you so fucking uncooperative?"

"I don't want one date with you," the woman yelled. "I don't want you in our lives anymore. Get the fuck away from me before I kick your ass."

The man stared at her. "Fine," he said. "Have it your way. But don't expect any money or support from me."

"Fine, get out of here," the woman snapped. "Don't show you sorry face near my flat again or I'll call the police."

The man turned around and stalked off. Roger turned and looked at the woman. "Are you OK?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," the woman said defensively, crossing her arms over her chest. "Mike and I get into that at least once a week. I don't you're your help, thanks."

She turned around and began to walk off. "Hey, wait," Roger said, running after her. "You... you look familiar. Where have I seen you before?"

As the woman calmed down and took a deep breath, her features softened. Roger studied her face for a moment, and then he realized who it was.

"Oh my God," he said, looking down at her in shock. "Melanie."

"Hello, Roger," Melanie said softly. "It's been a long time."

"Hell yeah, it has," Roger said. "H-how have you been?"

"Very busy," Melanie said. "Not to be cliche, but the story's too long. Do you live here?"

"Yeah, that's my loft right there," Roger said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder.

"No way, seriously?" Melanie asked. "I live right below you."

"No kidding?" Roger asked, shaking his head. "A friend of mine used to live in your very apartment." He looked over her shoulder. "Who was that guy?"

"Oh, just the guy of the month," Melanie said. Roger looked at her, confused and rather surprised. "I don't really want to talk about it here. It's a long story."

"D-do you want to come in? It's cold out here. We can talk. Um, Collins and Mark are in there, too," Roger stammered, his teeth starting to chatter.

"OK," Melanie said. "I guess I have a lot of explaining to do."

Roger nodded. "We can have a drink or something, on me." He looked sideways at her. "You look great."

"Thanks," she said. "I try."

"So where have you been all these years?" Roger asked. "It's been what, seven years or something?"

"Ten," Melanie said. Roger nodded. "I lived in Chelsea for a while after I left Scarsdale, because I could get a dirt cheap flat. It was pretty risky living, but I had no choice. I barely had any money. Then I got a job as a legal secretary while I went to college at NYU and was able to afford a place here. I didn't know it was right below you, though." Melanie hoped her expression wasn't giving herself away; in fact, she had known Roger lived here for a long time. Collins had told her.

"Did you take any classes from Collins?" Roger asked, as they climbed the stairs to the loft. "He's a professor there now."

"Yeah, I took computer classes from him," Melanie said. "I managed to graduate from NYU in two years with a degree in office administration. It was really hard work, but I buckled down and did my best, and that made it easier."

"You had him as a professor and he didn't tell me you were living in the city?" Roger asked. Melanie didn't answer. Roger slid the loft door open and walked inside the loft with her. "Mark, Collins, look who I just rescued."

"I'm glad you're home, Baby girl," Collins said, taking Melanie into a bear hug.

"Thanks, Collins," Melanie said, smiling up at him. She looked at Mark, whose jaw dropped.

"Melanie?" he asked, recognizing her.

"Hi, Mark," Melanie said. "How have you been?"

"I've been great," Mark said, coming over and hugging her. "Getting more job offers of late than in my entire life, from NBC and the like. It's kind of annoying, actually." He smirked. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here," Melanie said. "I actually live right below you guys."

"You live right below us and we didn't know it?" Mark asked, dumbfounded. "Wow. I can't believe it."

Melanie smiled. "I, uh, wanted to keep below the radar for a while," she said. "I only came here about a month ago. I lived in Chelsea before, because I could get a dirt-cheap flat. It sucked, but I got by until I got a good job. I've been watching you guys, though, especially once I figured out you lived above me. I just knew it was Roger's fault for putting Madeline to sleep every night with that one song." She laughed.

"_Your Eyes_?" Roger asked her.

"Yes, that one," Melanie said, smiling at him. "Maddy loves it."

"Maddy? Who's Maddy?" Roger asked, confused after just realizing what she had just said.

"Madeline Rose, also known as Maddy; she's my daughter," Melanie said. "She's ten. Or, well, she'll turn ten this month, on January 25th."

"You have a daughter?" Roger asked. "Not with that moron, I hope?"

"No, not with him," Melanie said evasively, shaking her head. She glanced meaningfully at Collins and Mark, and then looked back at Roger. "Do you want to meet Maddy? I can bring her upstairs. I took our argument outside. I need to go back down and check on her."

"Sure," Roger said. "I'll go with you."

"OK, that would be the idea of meeting her, silly," Melanie said, smiling at him. For the first time, he truly saw Melanie's youth shine through her face. She was taller and her hair was a little shorter than the last time he'd seen her. But she looked the same way she had when he'd seen her at 18, not 28.

"We'll be back in a few minutes, Mark," Roger said. "Then we can, uh, go to supper at the Life or something?"

"Sounds good, Roger," Mark said, smiling at him. Roger smiled back.

Roger looked at Melanie again and followed her out of the loft and downstairs.

"What's the Life?" Melanie asked him.

"It's a café we eat at all the time," Roger answered. "It has really good food for pretty cheap."

"That sounds great," Melanie said. She pulled a key out of her pocket and unlocked the door.

"You locked her in?" Roger asked.

"Yes, why wouldn't I?" Melanie asked him, giving him a look. Roger shrugged.

As the door swung open, Roger took in her apartment. It wasn't like he hadn't been here before. He'd been here before, many times.

The last time he'd been here, he had just taken Mimi in off the streets, victim to a bad withdrawal. She'd been shabbily clothed, her body emaciated and rail-thin, and she had been shivering with cold. He'd held her there, shaking and scared, until she had recovered. But she couldn't get over her heroin addiction, even after she went to one of the Life Support meetings to talk about it and living with the HIV/AIDS virus. They had broken up when he had caught her buying yet more drugs from The Man soon after the meeting. Then Angel had died and everything had fallen apart from there, leading up to high tension between the Bohemians and Mimi's eventual death.

"Roger, you OK?" Melanie asked, seeing the way he was looking at the apartment. The apartment was small and slightly cramped, but it had enough room for a mother and young daughter. It also held many memories of Mimi for Roger.

"Huh?" Roger looked around at her, brought out of his daze. "Yeah, I'm all right. But wow. I haven't been here in…" He paused. "Well, it's been a long time."

Melanie looked at him. "She's there." She pointed to a little girl watching television in the living room area. "Maddy, I'm home," she called out to the little girl.

The little girl looked up and Roger was entranced at how familiar her green eyes seemed. Madeline ran up to Melanie and Melanie hugged her. "Hi, Maddy girl," she said, looking down at Madeline. "Sorry I had to leave for a second. Mike and I had to talk outside. Were you scared?"

"Nope," Madeline said, smiling up at her mother.

"Good girl. I'm proud of you," Melanie said, smiling at her daughter. She and Madeline exchanged an Eskimo kiss. Then she and Madeline faced Roger. "Roger, this is Madeline, also known as Maddy. Maddy, this is my friend, Roger."

"Hi," Maddy said, smiling up at Roger.

Roger crouched down to Maddy's level. "Hi, Maddy," he said. "You live here with your mom?"

"Yep, and her roommate, Katie," Maddy said, smiling at him. Roger grinned.

"Do you like it here?" he asked her.

"It's OK," Maddy said. She looked up at her mother. "Mom, can I go back and watch TV now?"

"Actually, Maddy, please go turn the TV off for now and come back here. I have some more people I want you to meet," Melanie said. She looked at Roger. "Katie's at work right now, but she'll be along later." Roger nodded. "She's a stage manager at the Gershwin Theatre."

"No way," Roger said. "That's so awesome."

Melanie smiled.

"Mom, can we go meet the other friends now?" Maddy asked, looking up at her.

"Yes, Maddy, we can go," Melanie said.

"Where are they?" Maddy asked.

"They're in the apartment above us," Melanie said. "If we go up and meet them now, then we can go eat supper with them."

"OK," Maddy said.

"Good girl," Melanie said, smiling at Maddy and taking her hand. "Get your coat on, please, and then we can meet the others, OK?"

"OK," Maddy said, and she got her coat on.

Melanie looked at Roger. "I think we're ready, Roger," Melanie said.

"All right," Roger said, smiling at her and Maddy.

They climbed the stairs to the loft, where Mark and Collins were still waiting.

"Is this Maddy?" Collins asked Melanie, coming over to Madeline, Melanie, and Roger, as they entered the apartment.

"It is," Melanie said, smiling at him.

"She's beautiful, Melanie. Hi, Maddy, my name is Tom Collins," Collins said to Maddy. "You can call me Collins."

"Collins?" Madeline asked. "Maddy." She held out her hand for Collins to shake.

Collins laughed, amused at Madeline's good manners. "Mel, I like your little girl already," he said, as he shook Madeline's hand.

Melanie grinned and Madeline giggled. "Maybe it's your teacher persona, Collins," she said.

Mark came up to Madeline then. "Hi, Maddy," he said, "I'm Mark."

Melanie bent down and whispered something in Madeline's ear. "It's nice to meet you all," Madeline said, after a second.

The others smiled warmly at her. "Do you like your new friends, Madeline?" Melanie asked her.

Madeline nodded. "Yes," she said. She looked at her mother. "Can we go eat now?"

"Sure, sweetie," Melanie said, smiling at her. She looked at the others. "Do you guys want to join us for supper at the, um, Life Café, I guess it's called?"

"Sure, we eat there a lot, it's cheap and great food," Collins said, smiling at her. "Their chicken sandwich and Cajun chicken linguini are the best. Just let me give Maureen and Joanne a call."

"Maureen, oh boy," Melanie said warily. "I haven't seen her in a long time. Do you think she'll hate me for being gone so long without telling her?"

"Now, now, hate is a strong word," Collins said seriously, shaking his head at her. "But no, I think she'll just be overly excited and might plow you over with a hug."

Melanie grinned. "I can imagine," she said.

Collins went over to the phone and quickly made the call. "They'll meet us there," he said, walking back over to Melanie, Roger, Mark, and Madeline.

"OK," Melanie said.

They walked down to the Life Café.

"Who's Joanne?" Melanie asked, making conversation along the way.

"Maureen's girlfriend," Collins said.

Melanie's eyebrows rose. "Wait— girlfriend? Oh," she said. "_Oh..._ You _don't_ mean...?"

"Yeah, I do mean," Collins said, grinning. "It's a long story; one I don't know whether Mark wants us to share or not."

Mark shrugged. "I don't care," he said grudgingly.

"Well, you remember how he and Maureen went out in high school, after Mark got the guts to finally ask her out?" Collins asked. Melanie nodded. "Well, they continued going out for a long time; until about a year ago, Maureen suddenly dumped him for Joanne, saying it was 'different' with her."

"Ooh, Mark, I'm so sorry," Melanie said, patting him soothingly on the shoulder, while at the same time, trying not to laugh.

Mark shrugged. "I'm good," he said. "She was very… unsettled. It was kind of annoying. And there were other reasons, too."

"It sounds like I've missed a lot," Melanie said, trying not to laugh at the sour look on Mark's face. "How am I ever going to catch up on it all?"

"You don't even know the half of it yet. Stick around with us for a while," Collins said. "You'll pick up fast enough. Ah, here we are."

They had arrived at the Life Café. Two tall women were walking toward them. One of them noticed Melanie and picked up speed.

"Oh, my God, it can't be! Melanie!" she squealed.

"Hi, Maureen," Melanie said, laughing as Maureen plowed into her and embraced her. "How have you been?"

Maureen rolled her eyes. "Never mind me," she said. "How have you been?"

"I... it's complicated," Melanie said nervously, looking at her sadly.

Maureen looked down at Madeline standing next to Melanie. "Is she yours?" she asked, lowering her voice.

"Yes," Melanie replied quietly. "I'll tell you later, OK?"

"I wanna hear all about what you've been doing," Maureen agreed, nodding.

"OK," Melanie said, "I'll tell you everything. Let's just eat first, OK? Maddy's hungry."

"OK. You'll like the Life. The staff is really nice and the food is great and cheap, too," Maureen said.

"Thanks for the advice, Maureen," Melanie said, smiling at her.

They entered the café and the maitre'd rushed up to them.

"No, please, no. Not tonight, please go!" he said.

"We paid last time!" Mark exclaimed at him.

Melanie was confused. She looked at Maureen, who leaned over and said, "Well, everyone except this maitre'd. And usually we come in here and never order anything, or else we do and can't pay for it. He hates that."

"Ah, I can see why," Melanie said, nodding. She walked forward. "Excuse me." The maitre'd looked at her and she lowered her voice. "I believe this should cover everything, plus tip." She pressed a one hundred dollar bill into his hand.

The maitre'd looked down at her, surprised and taken aback, but she stood firm. "Oh, all right," he said, "go pick a table. Just _please _don't move them together."

Melanie looked around at Roger and grinned. He grinned back at her. As was tradition, they broke the rules and moved two tables together, leaving two spots open. Melanie didn't know it was tradition to move the tables together and was confused.

"What are the two spots open for?" Melanie asked curiously, as the waiters and waitresses came to take their orders.

"Mimi and Angel," Maureen answered. "It's a long story."

"Well, we have until little missy needs to go to bed," Melanie said, looking around.

Maureen laughed. "You're right," she said. "Say, why don't we all hang out at your flat tonight? I mean, for one thing, it's right beneath Roger and Mark's and you can still be around Maddy, in case anything happens. We can catch up, as long as we aren't too loud. And then, if we all part ways to go home, it won't be a problem. If we don't, Mark and Roger are used to having guests over all the time."

"You mean you guys? Maureen, you are absolutely right," Melanie said, smiling at her friend's brilliance. "I think that sounds like a great idea."

Maureen smiled. "Great," she said. "Is that OK with you guys?" She looked around at the others, particularly Roger and Mark, who nodded. "It's settled then."

Melanie smiled.

They ate dinner, Melanie and Madeline each ordering a penne and sausage dish, not ordering wine and beer this time, and then they all went back to Melanie's flat. They watched _Beauty and the Beast _and then Madeline started to get tired. It was past nine o'clock, so Melanie quickly put her to bed and came back out to talk with the others.

"So... what happened to you, Mel?" Maureen asked. "You just disappeared back then. I was really scared for you, since I didn't know why you left."

"I know," Melanie said. "I… it's really hard to explain."

"Go on," Maureen urged.

Melanie sighed. "Well, OK." She looked at Roger, who suddenly had a blank, unreadable look on his face. "I left because mine and Roger's relationship had fallen apart. He wanted to marry me so bad, but I wasn't mature enough for such a commitment, and I knew that. I tried to, um, go quietly, but it didn't work out. You guys remember."

"We do," Roger, Collins, Mark, and Maureen said together.

"Did your mom know you left?" Maureen asked. "I mean, did she know you left after you got better?"

"After I got better, I talked to her about it, yes, and we've been keeping in contact," Melanie said. "She helped me out a lot when I found out I was pregnant with Maddy and gave birth to her."

The others nodded. "I admitted to her that I stole the money from her, but she knew how messed up I had gotten back then and wasn't mad. I've been seeing a counselor to help me out with my… mental issues. I paid my mom back, every penny. She's basically been helping me raise Maddy, especially when I was looking for a job in Chelsea and finally got one here.

"My roommate, Katie, has been helping out, too, watching Maddy while I work during the day. She works early afternoons and nights at the Gershwin Theatre, stage managing. That way, I can work during the morning without having to hire a babysitting service and I can watch Maddy once I get home from work, since I'm off at noon with weekends off."

"Sounds like you've found your way through life," Collins said. "I mean, look at you: a job, a kid, college..."

"It wasn't easy, but I did it," Melanie said. "Maddy is a great kid. I wouldn't trade her in for anything in the world. That's why I had to get away from Mike. He was making my life hell."

"Did he hurt you at all or anything, Mel?" Maureen asked. "If he did, I'll kick his ass or get Joanne to file a lawsuit against him."

"You're a lawyer?" Melanie asked Joanne, looking at her, surprised.

"I am," Joanne answered.

"No, he was never abusive," Melanie said, shaking her head. "He was just really loud and drank too much. Finally, today, I told him I'd had enough and he had to leave, or else I'd call the cops. He did, thankfully. Then Roger came and rescued me… well, sort of… and here I am."

Melanie smiled up at Roger, but he didn't smile back. He looked nervous. "Melanie, can I… can I talk to you for a second?" he asked.

"Sure, Roger, what's up?" Melanie asked.

"Not here, please," Roger said. He turned away and went into Melanie's bedroom.

Melanie looked at the others, confused. "What's eating him, do you suppose?" she asked.

"He's probably just overwhelmed," Mark said. "He gets that way. Just go talk to him. It'll be fine."

Melanie swallowed. "Well, OK," she said. She went into the bedroom where Roger had gone. "What's up, Roger?"

"Melanie, is she mine?" Roger asked, turning and facing her.

"Who, Maddy?" Melanie asked.

"Yes, Maddy, of course, Maddy, who else would I be talking about?" Roger said, sounding harsher than he'd intended. He looked down and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Sorry, I didn't mean it."

"Yes, Roger, she's yours," Melanie said.

"We had a daughter and you didn't tell me? I knew nothing about her for ten whole years?" Roger asked, aghast.

"Roger, I was scared to tell you. I didn't know how you'd react. And to be honest, I didn't know she was yours at first. I thought she was…" Melanie began.

"You thought she was the attacker's child?" Roger asked.

"Yes. I thought she was his. I was so afraid she would be," Melanie said.

"What if she had been?" Roger demanded.

Melanie looked at him nervously. "I don't know."

"Would you have given her up for adoption?" Roger demanded.

Melanie was silent for a moment. Then she nodded. "I might have," she said. "But when she was born, I saw your eyes, your green eyes. I knew she was yours. I realized I'd been feeling… you know, sick… since before that guy hurt me. I knew I couldn't give her up, because she was yours, so I didn't."

"I'm glad you didn't," Roger said. "Melanie, I want to make it up to you. I want to help you take care of her."

"You do?" Melanie asked, looking up at Roger.

Roger lifted her chin with his finger. "I do," he said. Before Melanie knew what was happening, Roger leaned down and kissed her.

Then Melanie pulled away. "Roger, wait," she said.

"What?" Roger asked, confused. "You're so beautiful."

"Thank you. But don't you think we're moving a little too fast?" Melanie asked. "I mean, this is the first time I've been alone with you in ten years. And we only came in here to talk about Maddy."

Roger stared at her for a moment, and then nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he said. "It is too fast. I'm sorry, Mel. I didn't mean to."

"It's OK, Roger. I understand," Melanie said. "I mean, we just have so much to catch up on, you know? We should probably figure out what happened to each other after I left before anything else happens."

Roger nodded again. "OK. OK, you're right," he said. "I'm sorry."

"It's OK," Melanie said, looking up at him. "Friends?"

"Friends," Roger said, smiling weakly at her.

They went back out to the living room and sat down with the others. They continued talking and having fun well into the night, careful not to wake Madeline up. Eventually, though, it was time for everyone to part ways and go back to their own places.

Roger pulled Melanie aside after Maureen and Joanne left. Mark and Collins were the only ones left to leave, besides him. Roger realized that, although he might have minded Maureen and Joanne watching him and Melanie talk alone, he didn't mind the two of them, his best friends.

"Will I see you again?" he asked, facing her. They were holding hands.

Melanie nodded, not minding the gesture. "You will," she said. "Now that I've seen everyone again, I know I have someone here that I didn't know before. I'll be back."

Roger smiled, reassured. "OK, good," he said. "I'm glad you came back into my life, Melanie. I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too, Roger," Melanie said. He pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry for everything I did. Can you forgive me?"

Roger nodded, his head resting on her shoulder. "Yeah," he said.

"Slowly, but surely, right?" Melanie asked, her head resting on his shoulder as well.

"Right," Roger said. They let go and he kissed her on the forehead. "See you later. Say goodnight to Maddy for me."

"OK, I will. Bye, Roger," Melanie said, and she watched him leave. She smiled and waved goodbye to Collins and Mark, and then she went to her own bedroom next to Madeline's. Melanie didn't sleep well that night. All night long, she was thinking of Roger.

Well, there you have it, the first chapter of The One That Got Away, the sequel to Light In Your Eyes. I hope you liked it. I really hate coming up with titles!! Just remember that it is set 10 years after Light In Your Eyes, in 1992, making both Roger and Melanie 28. Mimi had only died a year before. I don't want anyone to be confused, but I think, if you keep those facts in mind, you'll follow along just fine.

I'm going to try to write up chapters and update as quickly as possible. Please be patient with me if I hit a block (hope that doesn't happen.) But I got off work early today (we thought it was going to rain, but of course, it didn't, so we lost a couple hours' pay for nothing) and I just continued writing. I've been writing this over the past couple of days, almost a week. I've got several ideas in my head planned for this story, but we'll see what works out and what doesn't. I'll do my best.

Oh yeah, and also, I'm going to be out of town from June 27 to July 6, for college orientation and a family reunion, and then July 13 to 18, for another family reunion. In that time, I won't be getting any writing posted up, even if I do find time to write some, since I won't have computer or internet access. And of course, I'm working full-time whenever it doesn't rain… so there's that to take into account, too. I'll do my best to update for you guys as much as possible.

As always, don't forget to review. I love feedback. Thanks.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	2. Sleeping Beauty

"So you've heard my side of the story, Roger," Melanie said, lying on her stomach on his bed the next afternoon. Maureen, Joanne, Collins, and Mark were in the living room, playing with Madeline, to give Roger and Melanie more time to talk alone. They were getting bonding time in with Madeline this way, too. "Tell me about yours."

"You really want to hear all about what happened to me?" Roger asked her, looking down at her.

"I do. Everything," Melanie said.

"Well, if you're sure," Roger said hesitantly.

"I'm sure," Melanie said.

"Well, OK," Roger said. "I guess I'll start from the beginning."

"That would probably be a good idea," Melanie said, smirking, "seeing as I'll be confused if you tell me it backwards."

"Oh, I could try," Roger said, grinning. Melanie laughed. "Mel, after you left, I was in really bad shape. I don't blame you for leaving, now that I know why. But I tried and tried to get you to fix things up with me."

Melanie nodded. She hadn't forgotten.

"I became a recluse for a while, a 'self-imposed exile', as Collins and Mark called me," Roger said. "I ran away from Scarsdale to the city here, and stayed with Collins for a long time. I went around and played gigs to help raise money to pay for my part of the rent. Eventually, Mark moved here, as did Maureen and our landlord, Benny. You might meet him later, but I hope not."

"Roger!" Melanie said.

"What? He's a jackass," Roger said.

"Well, OK, if you say so. Go on," Melanie said.

"Anyways, we lived together. Mark tried going to Brown College to become a lawyer, but dropped out. I didn't even attend NYU. Collins finished there, though, and became a teacher of computer-age philosophy, which were his two majors. Benny sold out to his girlfriend's father, and he's married to Alison Grey of the Westport Grey's now."

"Oh my," Melanie said, covering her mouth with her hand.

"What?" Roger asked, looking at her.

"I don't know why I didn't tell you this before, but… I know Alison. I met her… once," Melanie said. "It was long before we moved here."

"Did you now?" Roger asked, interested. "Well, do you like her?"

"I thought she was OK. She could be a real snob sometimes when she wanted to, but there was a soft side to her, too," Melanie answered.

"OK," Roger said, shrugging, "I was just wondering. Anyways, we lived together and tried and/or failed at college. I met this girl named April at a club I was performing at, and we got together." Roger closed his eyes. "Please don't hate me for that or this, but she also got me into drugs."

"Oh no. What kind of drugs, Roger?" Melanie asked, suddenly looking nervous.

"Well, first it was the lighter stuff, like coke, but eventually, she turned me onto the heaviest stuff, heroin," Roger said. "We both tested for HIV, but we were too deep into our addictions. Melanie, there's something you need to know."

"What, Roger?" Melanie asked. She looked scared now.

"I'm HIV-positive," Roger said. "It's AIDS."

"HIV-positive, AIDS, like you mean you're dying?" Melanie asked, tears forming in her eyes.

"Yes. I mean, no," Roger corrected himself immediately, shaking his head. "Look, I may be sick sometimes, but I'm not dying."

_Yet_, his mind added automatically.

"I'm on good meds and determined to live as long as possible, especially now that I know I have a daughter I have to help raise," Roger finished.

"Roger, you don't haveto help raise her," Melanie said, looking up at him. "Katie helps me."

"Yeah, well, she doesn't _have _to, either," Roger argued. "I'm her father, Melanie."

Melanie nodded. "You're right," she said. "What else do you want to tell me?"

"After we both found out we were positive, April killed herself," Roger said. "She committed suicide by slitting her wrists. Collins, Mark, and Benny locked me in the loft here to get me clean, because they didn't want me even thinking about that. Withdrawal was so hard, but I did it. I got clean. I've been clean for almost four years now."

"Good for you, Roger. I'm proud of you," Melanie said, looking up at him, not so scared anymore.

"Thanks, Mel," Roger said. "Anyways, after April killed herself, I became a mess again. It took this beautiful Latina girl, Mimi, an exotic dancer, to persuade me out of the life, to begin my life over again. She came dancing into this loft, literally, and asked me to go out with her. I eventually did. She was one of the only girls I ever truly loved after you left. It was one of the most amazing years of my life. She lived right where you and Madeline are now."

"Did you tell her about me?" Melanie asked curiously.

"I did," Roger said. "I told her stories about you after she got really sick a few times. They kept her going. She really wanted to meet you, the girl who made my high school life wonderful." Melanie smiled. "Eventually, though, she died of a heroin overdose, as much as I tried to persuade her to clean up."

Melanie's expression fell. "I'm sorry, Roger," she said.

"It's OK. It doesn't affect me now as much as it used to," Roger said. "Oh yeah, and in addition to Mimi… well, I don't know if you want to know this next part."

"What, Roger? Tell me, please?" Melanie asked.

"Collins met another guy named Angel."

"Angel?"

"Yeah, Angel; he was so good to all of us, especially those of us who were… are… positive," Roger said, smiling for real. "He taught us to live life in the moment and to cherish everything in your life, be it people or events or whatever. He was so amazing. He died on Halloween, 1990, though, of AIDS complications, five months before Mimi."

"I'm sorry, Roger," Melanie said again. "He sounded so good for Collins."

"He was," Roger said. "He brought life back into Collins again." Roger looked at her. "Are you sure you're OK with that?"

"Collins being with another guy?" Melanie asked. "Yeah, of course I'm fine with it. I know my brother had an amazing effect on him, but if Angel had an ever better effect on Collins and made him happy, then by all means."

"You're sure you're not mad?" Roger asked.

"Yes, Roger, I'm sure," Melanie said. "I'm too old to be angry by something like that now."

Roger smiled.

"So is there anything else?" Melanie asked.

"Well, after Angel got sick, Collins ran away to Greece and MIT, I ran away to Santa Fe to write, and Mark locked himself in to finish the film he had been making that year, in order to try to make a name for himself," Roger said. "Then we found Mimi on the streets, dying, and about three weeks after we originally took her in, she died."

Melanie nodded. "I'm glad you told me all that, Roger," she said.

"You're not angry about any of it," Roger asked, "not April or me being positive or anything?"

"Well, I am a bit overwhelmed," Melanie admitted, "but I can see how that all made you the person you are today. It's OK, really." She put her hand on his arm.

"I'm glad you're not angry," Roger said, looking down at her.

Melanie smiled up at him. "I would have really liked Mimi and Angel, wouldn't I have?" she asked.

"Oh yeah," Roger said, smiling, and a new light came into his eyes. "You definitely would have loved them. And they loved you."

"Angel loved me? How?" Melanie asked.

"Because Collins did," Roger said. "There were times when he couldn't stop talking about you to Angel, telling stories and all that."

Melanie smiled fondly at the mental image of Collins talking animatedly about her to Angel.

"Roger, you have no idea how sorry I am for running away like I did, for doing all the things I did to hurt you," she said, looking up at him.

"I know, Mel, I know," Roger said, and he took her into his arms.

* * *

"So how were you and Melanie last night?" Mark asked Roger the next morning. "You two didn't even appear again after you went off to talk."

"I told her, Mark," Roger said, looking down.

"Told her what, Roger?" Mark asked.

"Everything," Roger said. "I told her absolutely everything that had happened in the past ten years. The only thing I didn't tell her was Collins is positive, because… well, I think Collins should be the one to tell her that, it's his right. It just suddenly all spilled out. I didn't feel we could try to reconnect without her knowing all of it."

Mark let out a low whistle. "How did she take it?" he asked.

"Really well, I think," Roger said. "She admitted she was overwhelmed, but she really seemed just happy to know it all. And I'm glad she does. She knows the real me, what I've become."

"Good for you, Roger," Mark said, patting him on the shoulder. "So what are you going to do with Madeline today?"

"I'd like to take her and Melanie to the park," Roger said, "Tompkins or Central. You guys can come with us, if you want."

"Sounds great, we can make it a family day," Mark said, smiling at him.

"I like the sound of that, Mark," Roger said, smiling at him.

Mark smiled back at him.

"I have a daughter, Mark. How crazy is that?" Roger said, looking at Mark.

"Pretty crazy, Roger," Mark said.

* * *

"Roger, push me higher!" Madeline called to Roger, swinging on the swing at the playground at Tompkins Square Park.

Roger gave her a little extra push and looked at Melanie. "Mel, can we talk alone?" he asked.

"Sure, Roger," Melanie said, looking back at him. She looked up at Madeline. "Maddy, have Mark push you for a little bit, OK? Roger and I need to talk."

"OK. Uncle Mark, Mommy says you should come push me so she and Roger can go talk!" Madeline called.

Mark laughed as he came over. "OK, Maddy, I will," he said, giving her a push and grinning at Roger.

Roger grinned back and took Melanie's hand. They walked away from the playground equipment and down the sidewalk.

"Melanie, can I ask you something?" Roger asked.

"Sure, Roger," Melanie said.

"Do you think we should tell Maddy that I'm her father? I mean, I think it would make this whole bonding thing a whole lot easier, if she knew. It's better than calling me Roger, like I'm some stranger," Roger said.

Melanie considered it for a moment. "OK," she said, "we'll tell her. When do you want to?"

"How about when we put her to bed tonight?" Roger asked. "We could tell her then."

Melanie smiled at the way Roger said that. "We?" she asked, smiling coyly at him.

"We," Roger said, nodding and smiling at her. "I can read her a story and then we can tell her, or I can tell her and we can read her a story."

"That sounds great, Roger," Melanie said, smiling again. "I like the idea a lot. Let's do it."

"OK," Roger said, smiling.

"But watch it, she's an addict for _Sleeping Beauty_," Melanie warned him playfully.

Roger laughed. "That sounds great," he said.

* * *

Later that evening, Melanie and Roger were putting Madeline to bed. Melanie had already given her a bath and dressed her in her pajamas. All that was left was to read her a story.

"Maddy, would you like me to read you a story?" Roger asked.

"Yes, please, _Sleeping Beauty_," Madeline answered.

Roger met Melanie's gaze with a grin. "OK, _Sleeping Beauty_, it is," he said. "Then I have something to tell you."

"What?" Madeline asked curiously.

"Do you want the story first or me to tell you first?" Roger asked.

"Tell me first," Madeline said.

"Please," Melanie reminded her.

"Oh… please," Madeline said, remembering her manners, smiling up at Roger.

Roger smiled. "OK, I'll tell you," he said. He went over to her bookshelf, pulled out _Sleeping Beauty_, and went back over to her bed and sat next to her. "OK, Maddy, has your mom shown you pictures before?"

"Yes, a lot of them have my daddy in them with her, she said," Madeline replied.

"OK, and did she tell you who that was?" Roger asked. Madeline shook her head. "That was me. I'm your daddy, Maddy."

Madeline's eyebrows rose. "You are?" she asked. Then she looked confused. "But Mommy said she didn't think you were coming back? You have come back?"

"I have, Maddy," Roger said. Suddenly, at what she had said, he found he had to blink back tears. "I promise, OK?"

"OK. So should I call you Daddy instead of Roger?" Madeline asked.

"Um, yes," Roger said, looking at Melanie, who shrugged.

"OK, Daddy. Read me the story now, please," Madeline said.

"OK, storytime," Roger said, smiling at her.

Roger read the story to Madeline, then stood up, bent down, and pulled the covers up to her chin. She looked up at him and said, "Goodnight, Daddy."

Roger froze for a second, sighed inaudibly, and then kissed her on the forehead. "Goodnight, my sweet girl," he said.

Then he took Melanie's hand and they left the room.

Roger sighed and looked at Melanie. "Roger, you OK?" she asked, looking back at him.

"I… um… yeah," Roger said. "It's just weird, you know? You left and everything happened and now suddenly, I have a daughter."

"Who you are falling head over heels for, even now, I can tell," Melanie teased.

Roger smiled. "You're right, I am," he said. "We're gonna have trouble with her in six years, aren't we?"

Melanie laughed. "Oh yes, we are," she said. "Are you glad it went well?"

"Oh, extremely," Roger said, nodding.

"She's a good girl," Melanie said.

"The best," Roger said. "You did well."

"Thanks," Melanie said, smiling at him.

She walked with him to the door and they went outside. Roger jumped up and pulled down the fire escape stairs.

"See you in the morning?" he asked.

"Yes," Melanie said. "Goodnight, Roger."

"Goodnight, Melanie," Roger said, and Melanie watched him climb to his apartment and he was gone.

That night, Melanie slept soundly.

As always, don't forget to review. I hope you guys liked chapter 2. I have some more already written up for chapter 3. I just need to find time to type it up. And judging by the next few days' agenda, I don't think I will have time. I'm still on vacation, but I will be home on July 6. Until then, I will be writing off and on, but I will probably not find time or access to type it up and post it. Sorry. I'll continue the story as soon as I get home. I hope you are enjoying it so far. So far, I like it, and there's a lot more to come that I have planned in mind.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	3. A Bohemian Birthday

Here is chapter 3. I was lucky enough to have time to write and type up what I wrote and update it today for you guys. I'm writing more as quickly as I can come up with things. In case you didn't notice, I changed Madeline's birthday in chapter 1 to January 25th. I figured that would spark some interest. :) This chapter is relatively simple, but better than filler, I think. Just so you know, the flashback is from chapter 5, Without You, from Light in Your Eyes, in case you need to look back (I won't mind, I promise.) :) The real drama of the story is all yet to come, but it may take several chapters. I'll keep writing and updating as quickly as I can. Enjoy.

"Mommy, Mommy, get up!"

Melanie awoke the next morning to Madeline bouncing on her bed, calling to her.

"Maddy, what is it? What's wrong?" Melanie asked, sitting up. She looked at the clock. It said 6:30 a.m. Her alarm hadn't even gone off yet.

"Nothing's wrong; I just want to go see Daddy," Madeline said.

"Oh," Melanie said in realization. She rolled her eyes. "I see. All right, just let me get dressed and we can go up and see Daddy, OK?"

"OK," Madeline said, and she walked to the door. She had already dressed herself.

Melanie noticed Madeline had on mismatched socks. "Madeline," she said, "your socks don't match."

Madeline looked down and then looked at Melanie and grinned. "So?" she asked.

"So, don't you think we should fix that?" Melanie asked her. "Don't you think Daddy will want to see you matched your socks?"

Madeline grinned again. "Nope," she said.

"Oh, all right, silly. Let Mommy get dressed. I'll meet you in the kitchen. We'll brush your hair, eat some breakfast, and then we'll go," Melanie said to her.

"OK," Madeline said, and she left the room, closing the door behind her.

Melanie flopped back onto the bed. Many thoughts were racing through her mind. She had a daughter. She had a daughter with Roger, nonetheless. She hadn't seen Roger in ten years until a few weeks ago; yet, they were getting along better than they ever had been. It was all so strange to Melanie. She was handling it better than she ever thought she would, but at the same time, it was still confusing. She hoped all the confusion and hesitance would go away in time.

Melanie sat up and got dressed. Then she met Madeline in the kitchen, she put Madeline's long brown hair back into a ponytail, they ate a quick breakfast of Captain Crunch and toast, and then they left.

They climbed the stairs to Roger's apartment. Melanie knocked on the door and it slid open. It was Mark.

"Oh, morning, Mel," he said. "What's up?"

"Maddy wanted to see Daddy," Melanie said. "Is he here?"

"Yeah, but he isn't up yet," Mark said. "Roger and Collins never get up before eleven or noon or one in the afternoon. I, on the other hand, take advantage of the morning and go out filming." He held up his 16-millimeter camera. "I got this for my twenty-first birthday from my mom and dad. Best gift they ever gave me." Mark couldn't hide the bitterness in his voice, despite the happiness of receiving such a gift.

Melanie smiled. "It looks like a great camera," she said.

"It is," Mark said. "It gave me a name."

"Did it?" Melanie asked. "How so?"

"Back in 1989, Maureen protested Benny kicking us out of our apartments, in order to build a cyber studio to produce songs and film, which was also taking away her performance space," Mark explained. "Well, her protest ended in a riot, thanks to the police Benny set on stand-by fighting with the crowd. Benny got a bunch of people arrested for a few hours and _Buzzline_ bought my footage for 3,000 a segment. It was enough for us to get by for a while, until Angel and Mimi died."

Melanie nodded.

"Well, anyway," Mark went on, "we lived OK for a while. We didn't move out of here, though; there were too many memories."

Melanie nodded again. "I understand," she said.

"Would you like to come with me?" Mark asked. "I'm just about to leave to go film for a bit, actually."

Melanie looked at Madeline. "Do you want to go filming with Uncle Mark?" she asked her. Madeline nodded. Melanie looked at Mark. "We would love to."

"Great," Mark said, smiling. He grabbed a coat and they left together.

* * *

A couple hours later, Mark, Melanie, and Madeline arrived back at the loft. Roger still hadn't come out of his room and Collins was still asleep on the couch. Before Melanie could react, Madeline went and ran into Roger's room. They heard her calling to him to wake up, and a few minutes later, he came out with her beside him.

"M-m-morning, Melanie," he stammered. His hair was disheveled and he was dressed only in boxers.

Melanie stifled a giggle. "Sorry, Roger," she said. "She couldn't help herself. She wanted to see Daddy."

Roger smiled sleepily at her and then made a beeline for the coffeemaker. He poured himself a cup one-handed and drank it, Madeline still by his side.

"Mommy, why isn't Uncle Collins awake?" Madeline asked.

"I am now," Collins murmured sleepily, sitting up and looking at her. "What time is it?"

"Morning, Uncle Collins!" Madeline squealed, running over and hugging him on the couch.

"Morning, Baby girl," Collins said, smiling at her. "You wanted to see your daddy, huh?"

"Yes, I sure did," Madeline said, smiling up at him.

Melanie came over and hugged Collins. "Morning, Collins," she said. "It's not quite eleven."

"Oh, OK," Collins said. He lowered his voice. "You and Roger seem to be getting along well."

"We are," Melanie whispered back. "We're taking it slow."

"Good," Collins said.

"We told Maddy Roger was her father last night," Melanie said to him.

"Did you now?" Collins asked. "What did she say?"

"She asked if she should call him Daddy and if he could read her a bedtime story; her favorite, _Sleeping Beauty_," Melanie replied. "He did, of course, and then she called him Daddy again. It was almost like a reassurance."

"But a good one," Collins pointed out. Melanie nodded. "I'm so glad everything is working out. You two deserve it."

Melanie smiled. "This morning, she woke me up early because she wanted to go see Daddy," she said.

Collins laughed. "That's great," he said. He went over to the coffeepot and made himself a cup of coffee.

"So what about you, Collins?" Melanie asked. "Roger said you found another guy and were happier than you'd ever been?"

A true smile lit up Collins' face. "Yeah, Angel," he said. "You would have loved him. I told him about you."

"That's what Roger said," Melanie said, smiling at him. "I wish I could have, too. So what else happened to you these past ten years, Collins?"

Melanie was surprised how quickly Collins' face fell.

"Collins, are you OK?" she asked. "What is it?"

"It's… Baby girl, it's hard to explain," he said, looking at her.

"You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to," Melanie said, shaking her head.

"No, I do," Collins said. "Baby girl, I'm positive, too, just like Roger."

Tears sprang instantly to Melanie's eyes. "I… I'm sorry," she said. "It's just that this is a lot to handle."

"I know. I'm so sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have—" Collins began.

"No, no, you're perfectly fine," Melanie said, brushing it off. "It's just hard to absorb." She put her head in her hands.

"I know. I'm so sorry," Collins said. He pulled her into a hug.

"Can we— can we talk alone?" Melanie asked, wiping her eyes and looking up at him.

Collins, wondering what he had done wrong, looked over her shoulder at Roger and Mark, who nodded. "Absolutely," he said.

He put his arm around her and they went into Collins' old bedroom.

"Hasn't changed a bit in five years," Collins remarked about the room, looking around and dodging the conversation.

"I don't understand, Collins," Melanie said, looking at him. "I mean, is it just inevitable that you get it because you're gay?" Then she gasped, afraid she'd offended him. "Oh no. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"I know exactly what you mean," Collins said. "For a while, I thought it was only because I was gay. But then I realized I'd only ever… you know… been with two guys."

"Angel and my brother?" Melanie asked.

"Yeah," Collins said. "Every other relationship I had in the seven years in between them was never that serious."

"But you were already positive when you met Angel?" Melanie asked.

"Yep," Collins said.

"But Brian wasn't. He would have told me. He never would have lied about something like that," Melanie cried.

"You're right, Melanie, you're absolutely right," Collins said. "Brian was one of the absolute best men I knew, ever."

"So how did you get it?" Melanie asked.

"Well, after the initial shock wore off, we thought about the test results more. It stated that I had had one blood transfusion in my lifetime," Collins said.

"You did? When?" Melanie asked.

"Right after the crash," Collins said. "Didn't Doctor Morgan tell you I had some internal bleeding?"

Melanie fell silent in shock. The memory was coming back to her as fresh and as clear as thought it had happened yesterday.

_"Mom, I need to ask Doctor Morgan something!" sixteen-year-old Melanie said, her voice rising almost to a yell. She looked at the doctor apologetically for reacting like this, and spoke quickly before her mother could silence her again. "Doctor Morgan, you keep saying 'they', 'them'. Was someone else with Brian or not?"_

_Doctor Morgan nodded. "His classmate, Thomas Collins, was also with him."_

_"Oh, my God, Collins!" Melanie and Roger exclaimed in horror._

_"Is Collins OK?" sixteen-year-old Roger demanded._

_"Thomas— or, as you are referring to him, Collins— has a broken arm, whiplash, and a few cuts and bruises, but he will be fine. He took a breathalyzer test and came up completely sober, and he also took a drug test, which we required. He says neither he nor Brian was under the influence of any drugs or alcohol. With your permission, we will do an autopsy and find out if Brian was under the influence of any drugs."_

_"My brother didn't do drugs!" Melanie yelled angrily._

_"Melanie Elizabeth Schwartz!" Mrs. Schwartz scolded her, and Melanie sat back against her chair, folded her arms, and scowled, but she was silent. She looked at the doctor. "Please, go on."_

_"Collins had some minor internal bleeding, which required one blood transfusion, but no surgery, so he will be fine," Doctor Morgan said._

"Yes. Yes, I remember now," Melanie said, looking at him. "My God, Collins, that's all it took? It only took one stupid transfusion to ruin your life?"

Collins nodded. "But I don't think it was ruined, Baby girl," he said. "It brought Angel to me, it brought you back to me. It didn't ruin it, it just made it take a different direction than I was then."

"Are you on medication?" Melanie asked.

"AZT, just like Roger," Collins said.

"Oh, Collins," Melanie said, and she hugged him again as new tears appeared. "Of all the people this could have happened to, I wasn't imagining you. Damn it, not you."

Collins sighed. "I know, Mel," he said. "I know. I'm so sorry. I'm doing everything I can to correct it."

"It wasn't even your fault, Collins," Melanie cried.

"I know, Baby girl, they should have screened the blood back then, but they didn't," Collins said.

"I know, Collins," Melanie said.

Collins wiped away her tears. "Should we go back out?" he asked. "I bet your little girl is wondering where her mama went."

"OK," Melanie said, and she followed Collins out of the bedroom.

"Mommy, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Madeline asked, sensing her mother's tension. She walked away from Roger and hugged Melanie.

"Oh, it's nothing, sweetie. Mommy's OK now," Melanie said, looking down at her.

"Good," Madeline said, smiling up at her.

Melanie smiled. She couldn't resist her daughter's smile, just like she couldn't resist Roger's after so long.

"Can we eat, Mommy? I'm hungry," Madeline asked.

"Sweetie, you just ate breakfast," Melanie said. "Can't you wait until lunch?"

"Oh, all right," Madeline said.

Melanie looked at Roger. "For being a little girl, she definitely has your appetite," she said to him.

Roger laughed. Melanie realized how much she had missed that sound.

* * *

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday, dear, Madeline, Happy Birthday to you," Melanie and the Bohemians sang to Madeline on January 25th, her tenth birthday. Then they all blew their various noisemakers.

"Yay, cake!" Madeline squealed, looking at the chocolate cake in front of her on the table. The Bohemians laughed.

"The first piece goes out to the birthday girl," Collins said, cutting her the first piece.

"Yay!" Madeline cheered.

They cut and ate the rest of the cake and Madeline opened her presents.

"This is from Aunt Maureen and Aunt Joanne," Melanie said, handing Madeline her first present.

Madeline opened it. "Ooh, a kite!" she said. "Awesome!"

"What do you say to your aunts?" Melanie prompted her.

"Thank you," Madeline said to them.

"You're welcome, Madeline," they said to her, smiling.

"Next is from Uncle Collins," Melanie said, handing Madeline her present from Collins.

Madeline opened it. It was a black wool cap, just like his. There was also a miniature leather jacket and a vest, just like his.

"Ooh, thank you, Uncle Collins! They're just like yours!" Madeline exclaimed happily.

Collins smiled at her. "Yup, they are, Baby girl," he said.

"Are you going to put them on, Madeline?" Melanie asked. "Show your Uncle Collins how good you look in them."

Madeline put on the wool cap and the jacket and then she looked at Collins. "Hey, I look just like you!" she said.

Collins laughed. "That you do, Baby girl," he said, smiling at her. "Do you like them?"

"Definitely," Madeline said, smiling at him. "Thank you, Uncle Collins."

"You're welcome, Baby girl," Collins said.

"Who's next, Daddy?" Melanie asked, looking around.

Roger nodded and handed Madeline another wrapped present. Madeline opened it. It was a T-shirt that said "Daddy's Sidekick" on it. Then she pulled out another one that said "Daddy's Little Rock Star" on it.

"Roger, how brilliant," Melanie said, grinning at him.

Roger laughed. "I knew you'd like it," he said to her.

"Madeline, do you like them?" Melanie asked her.

"Yes. Thank you, Daddy," Madeline said, smiling at Roger.

Roger smiled back at her. "You're welcome, my sweet girl," he said.

"And this is from Mommy," Melanie said, handing Madeline her last present.

It was the biggest present of all of them. Madeline opened it, revealing a bicycle.

"Ooh, a bike!" she said. She hugged Melanie. "Thank you, Mommy."

"Well, you've never had one before, so Daddy and I talked about it, and we thought you could use one," Melanie said. "Daddy will teach you how to ride it when it gets warmer and there's no more ice on the roads."

"Yay, thank you Mommy and Daddy," Madeline cheered, smiling at them.

This is the end of chapter 3. I am still out of town at a family reunion, but not many relatives have arrived yet. So I've had time to write and type up what I've written, in between swimming in the river a lot with my cousins, having bonfires at night, and just hanging out with my family who are here so far. I'm glad I got the chance to update for you guys at least one more time before things start to get really busy tomorrow and after.

I hope you all have a great Fourth of July. I know I will. I believe the next time I will update for you guys will be July 6 or later. I return to work on July 7, so we'll see just how busy I get. Then, as I said before, I'm going to be out of town from July 13 to 18, and I won't have any computer or Internet access in that time, so no updating for you guys then. Sorry.

As always, don't forget to review. I love feedback and always appreciate hearing from my readers. I realize this is a busy time of year for many of you, with entering college like me, or reentering college or anything else. All our lives are busy in some way. So if you don't find time to R&R for me right away, I don't mind, honest. I know you all are busy with your own lives. I understand.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	4. Forget Regret

Hey everybody. I am sincerely sorry for the lack of updates these past couple of months. But after I got back from vacationing those two weeks in July, I put a lot more effort into my job (mowing lawns, weed whacking, etc.) than I had all summer, really, and lost 10 pounds as a result. Then I started my freshman year of college right away at the end of August, less than a week after my summer job finished, and I have been doing my best to keep on top of my 17 credits, of which are mostly 1 credit music classes (sort of sucks, but whatever, that's the life of a music major.) I've lost another 7 1/2 pounds since school started, due to stress and a few small lifestyle changes, so that's a really good thing, and since we're starting working out in my fitness class in the next week or so, I'm looking forward to losing even more weight. I know I can use it.

I was actually writing my English essay last night at around 11 p.m., while tired (like I am now), when this idea came to me. I finally got something of a brainwave, after having no inspiration whatsoever for almost three months, and I wanted the idea to stick in my head, so I just started writing and this is the result. I'm truly sorry for the lack of updates, but life has just been overpowering me of late. I hope this makes up for it. Enjoy this chapter. I don't own the reference title, only Jonathan Larson and his affiliates do.

I want to dedicate this chapter to my beta, rock, and best friend, katetastic (formerly known as rosablasifann08.) Without you, chica, I wouldn't have been able to write this chapter, as through all my writer's block, I have been thinking of you, and without your kind, thoughtful words, wisdom, and more, I would have had an even harder time these past few months. Thank you so much for being there for me. It means more to me than you might realize. Love you, chica, this chapter is dedicated to you.

That night, after the party, Collins suddenly noticed Roger was gone. "Mel," he leaned down and said to her. "Have you seen Roger?"

"No, I haven't, Collins," Melanie replied, looking around. "I only just noticed he was gone, too. I was gonna ask you, do you think he went to the roof?"

"Yeah, I do," Collins said. "That's why he didn't tell any of us where he was going; I bet he went up there to be alone. You stay with your girl. I'm going to go find him, OK? I'll be back soon."

"OK, Collins," Melanie said, smiling at him.

Collins slid back the door and went out, closing it behind him. He climbed the stairs to the roof. There, he found Roger sitting on the edge of the building, in the freezing cold.

"Roger, are you insane? It's freezing out here. Why aren't you inside in the warmth with your two girls?" Collins asked Roger.

Roger jumped, startled, and looked at Collins. "Oh," he said. "I was just…"

"— thinking?" Collins suggested. Roger nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Collins went over and sat next to Roger. Collins could see that, even though Roger was trying to hide it, he was shivering. Roger looked at Collins. "Collins, I still can't seem to wrap my brain around—"

"— the fact that you have a daughter?" Collins guessed. Roger nodded again. "I know what you mean, man, but honestly, what's not to grasp? Melanie's back in your life and Madeline is the sweetest girl anyone could ask for. We all love her so much already and Melanie's not even been back that long yet."

"I don't know, it's just all so intense, you know? I mean, I messed things up with Melanie pretty bad back in high school, and she ran off and got attacked by that guy, and…" Roger began. He looked up at Collins, horrified. "Oh, my God, that guy, we never did anything to catch that guy!" he exclaimed. "He could still be out there."

"I know, but Roger, man, that was ten years ago. Nothing we do now can even remotely prove that he violated Melanie, no matter what she says. There's no evidence, and besides, she said she didn't want to pursue the guy, that was her decision. We can't do anything about that," Collins said. "But that doesn't change how you feel about her or how she feels about you. I know you still love her and she loves you."

"So why did she walk out on me, Collins?" Roger yelled. "She ditched our wedding! She ran away and got attacked and then got so, so sick…" He closed his eyes painfully and then opened them again and looked angrily at Collins. "She almost died! How can you say she still loves me?"

"Remember how messed up she was back then, Rog?" Collins asked. "You two were both so young, getting married at barely 18. It must have been so overwhelming for both of you."

"It was, but we were also really excited, Collins," Roger said. "Or, at least, I was."

"I bet she was, too, man, but in the end, I think she realized she wasn't ready for it back then. She's always been a little—"

"Unsettled?" Roger finished for him.

Collins nodded. "So don't blame her for running off like that. She got better and you guys agreed you'd done things backwards from the beginning, remember?" he said.

"Yeah, I remember," Roger said, looking at him. "She got better and we went to Tompkins Square Park and we talked and I tried to stay with her as long as I could, to pretend that we'd be getting married sooner, if only I stayed with her. She said that all I wanted was to go to the city and become famous, and she also felt that maybe she was holding me back from that. I said no way, that wasn't possible. But she kept insisting that she was only 18; that she was too young to deal with all of it. In the end, while I didn't accept it, I let her go. She said she wanted to leave to clear her head, and I guess, from the sounds of it, she was pregnant when she left and she had to start her life all over with Madeline to take care of, too."

"So you guys didn't exactly end it on a unanimous note," Collins said. "You guys can talk about it now, and whatever comes of it, work something out. Maybe something will come of talking about it you don't realize."

"Maybe," Roger said. He looked at Collins. "Collins, I feel like I've already lived 50 years with all that's happened to me since high school."

"I know what you mean, man. I think all of us who are positive feel that way," Collins said. "But no day but today, right?"

Roger sighed. It was during hard times like these that he really missed Mimi and Angel, as they had helped him so much when they had been alive. "Right," he said.

"Are you ready to go back to your girls?" Collins asked him.

"I think so," Roger said, standing up and facing Collins.

"I think you just need to stop regretting what happened back then, Rog, and live in today. Melanie's back, you have a daughter, you're healthy," Collins said. "I'm healthy," he added as an afterthought, grinning. Roger chuckled. "It's all good right now, so if you and Melanie will stop hesitating about what you feel now, because of what happened back then, I think things will get better even faster. You'll see."

Roger nodded. "That makes sense," he said, looking at Collins.

"See, you just need me to give you a nudge sometimes," Collins said, smiling at him.

"Thanks for talking me down, man," Roger said, smiling at Collins.

"No problem, man," Collins said, and they went back inside.

"Daddy!" Madeline exclaimed happily, seeing her father enter the room.

"Hi, squirt," Roger said, hugging her and smiling.

"Did you have a nice talk with Uncle Collins?" Madeline asked him.

Roger looked at Melanie in suspicion. "She figured it out," Melanie said, throwing her hands up in defense and smiling.

"Yeah, OK," Roger said, not convinced, but he was smiling. "Yes, I did, munchkin," he said to Madeline.

"What did you guys talk about?" Madeline asked.

"Oh, just my favorite little girl in the entire world," Roger said, smiling and exchanging an Eskimo kiss with Madeline. Madeline giggled and hugged him happily.

"I'm glad you came back, Daddy," Madeline said to him.

Madeline didn't see the tears of happiness that formed in Roger's eyes at these sweet words.

* * *

A little while later, Roger pulled Melanie aside. "Can we, uh, go for a walk?" he asked. "I would like to talk to you."

"OK," Melanie said, "now?"

"Sure, now," Roger said, looking at her, "before I lose my nerve?"

Melanie rolled her eyes. "OK," she said. "Madeline, sweetie, Daddy and I are going to go talk for a minute, OK? You just play with Aunt Maureen and Aunt Joanne and Uncle Mark and Uncle Collins, OK?"

"OK, Mommy," Madeline said, smiling at her mother.

Melanie went out of the room with Roger. They grabbed two coats and went outside. As they walked, Melanie looked over at Roger and asked, "What's up?"

"I've really missed you, Melanie Elizabeth Schwartz," Roger said, looking at her, dead serious. "I'm so sorry for doing anything to you back then, making you think you had to marry me or something because I would have freaked if you'd said no."

"Well, you would have, Roger. I knew you would have," Melanie pointed out, "which is why I wanted to go quietly. But everything happened so fast."

"I know," Roger said. "I just want you to know that I'm so sorry that for even one second, you thought you had to marry me. I would have freaked if you'd said no, sure, but that's because I was immature and stupid and—"

"You weren't stupid, Roger, we both were a lot smarter than we let on," Melanie said. "And I remember I freaked out enough for both of us once you found me."

"Mel, you were sick. I don't know exactly what with, but you were sick. It wasn't the real you," Roger said.

"Still, I'm not using that as an excuse, Roger," Melanie said. She looked up at him. "Do you still love me? I mean, like you did back then?"

"Yes, Melanie, I do," Roger said, nodding, "just as much as I did back then. I never stopped loving you, not even when I got into smack and was with April and then went through withdrawal and was with Mimi for a year and everything."

"Really, Roger?" Melanie asked him.

"Really, Melanie," Roger said, moving her face closer to his. He leaned down and kissed her and she returned the kiss and deepened it. It was their first kiss in ten years, sweet and tender. After they parted, Roger said, "Melanie, I'm not only saying this because of Madeline, even though she is the most important person in our lives. But do you think we could work on starting over?"

Melanie nodded. "Yes, Roger," she said, "we have a lot in our past, but I think we could work hard on starting over, if only for Madeline. She needs her father."

"She needs her mother, too," Roger said, looking down at Melanie, "which is why we should probably get back inside, it's freezing out here."

"Yeah, and I don't want you getting cold, or you'll get sick, and I wouldn't want that," Melanie said, leaning into his warm, strong frame.

Roger smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you for taking me back, Melanie," he said, as they walked back into the loft.

"You're welcome, Roger," Melanie said.

The Bohemians noticed Melanie and Roger had their arms around each other, so they knew something had happened. Mark sent Roger a look that Roger knew meant Mark was going to ask him later about what had happened. But he didn't care. He was happier right now than he'd been in years. He and Melanie were putting everything behind them and starting over, he had a daughter, and he and Collins were both healthy. Everything was in its place. Everything at this very moment was right.

There was a slight diversion a few moments later, as Katie burst into the loft without knocking, bringing with her lots of snow. She had a huge bulge in her coat for some reason, so it was barely closed around her small frame. She laughed at the looks on everyone's faces.

"Hey everybody. Oh…" She looked down at the snow on the floor. "Sorry about that. It's really snowing out there. But something came up at the Gershwin and I didn't get a chance to call and say I'd be late, and…" Her rambling trailed off.

"Come on in, Katie, sit down," Mark said, grinning up at her, chuckling at her rambling.

"Thanks," Katie said, taking off her coat and hanging it up on the hook. She held up a package she had been holding in her coat to protect it from the snow. "I brought our little one a present to make up for being MIA at her party."

"Cool, another present!" Madeline squealed happily.

Katie smiled at her and handed her the present. "Go ahead and open it," she said. "It's from me and Uncle Mark."

"OK," Madeline said, and she opened the present. It was a smaller version of the real 16mm camera Mark had carried around with him to film since 1989. "Wow, a camera! That's so cool! Thank you, Aunt Katie and Uncle Mark."

"You're so welcome, little one," Katie said, smiling at her. She looked over at Mark and grinned. "It was Uncle Mark's idea to get you the camera."

Madeline immediately turned the camera on and started walking around with it held up to her eye, filming. She looked just like Mark did when he filmed. Katie laughed and looked at Mark fondly. Everyone else noticed how they were looking at each other, too.

Katie beckoned to Mark and he went over to her. "It was a really great idea to get her that camera," she said to him. "She already loves it. And it won't break. I bet it'll be her obsession, like yours."

Mark took Katie's hand and they went into his room. "Passion," he corrected her lightly. He looked down at her unblinkingly. "Like you."

"Like me?" Katie asked, looking up at him.

"Yeah, you're my passion, Katie. I… I love you," Mark said. "I've wanted to tell you that for a long time."

Katie smiled. "I've wanted to tell you that for a long time, too, Mark," she said. He looked down at her nervously. "I love you, too."

Mark grinned and leaned down and kissed her, their hearts pounding in the silence.

_Kiss me. It's beginning to snow…_

* * *

"Happy Valentine's Day, Baby," Roger said, smiling at Melanie as he handed her a small gift.

"What did you get me, Roger?" Melanie asked, looking at him.

"Open it and see," Roger said, smiling at her.

Melanie opened it, revealing a personalized necklace with three charms on it. Two charms had M's on them and the third charm had an R on it, for Roger, Melanie, and Madeline. There was a second necklace inside, too, a heart-shaped locket. Melanie opened the locket; inside was a miniature picture of one of the first pictures Mark had taken of Melanie, Madeline, and Roger together.

"Roger, they are so beautiful, thank you," Melanie said, smiling at him.

"You're welcome," Roger said, kissing her.

"I got something for you, too," Melanie said, handing him a wrapped gift.

"Really, what?" Roger asked curiously. He opened it. Inside was a coffee mug that said "World's Greatest Dad" on it. "Wow, Mel, this is great. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Melanie said, smiling at him.

"Daddy, Daddy, what about me?" Madeline asked, bouncing up to him.

"Well, I have something for you, too, squirt," Roger said, laughing. He gave her a small bag. "Here you go."

Madeline opened the bag. Inside was about ten chocolate-covered Oreos.

"Ooh," she squealed, looking up at Roger. "Thank you, Daddy."

"You're welcome," Roger said, smiling at her. "Don't eat them all today, though. Eat, say, five now and five tomorrow, deal?"

"OK," Madeline said, and she ran upstairs to her room to stash away the bag.

Melanie and Roger laughed. "Do you think she'll listen?" Roger asked.

"With chocolate? Not a chance," Melanie said, laughing.

This is the end of chapter 4. I'm so glad I was finally able to post something. Again, I apologize sincerely for how much time it took for me to post something, anything up. Life got in the way and college has been busy, becoming increasingly so with my mid-term exams being held this coming week. I've got something in mind for chapter 5. Don't worry, nothing drastic will happen yet, not for a while. As you can see, Mark and Katie are developing a relationship, which will become more serious with time, I just have to figure out how. I'll write something as quickly as I get ideas. I have a couple ideas in mind, but if they don't come easily, I have to figure out a way to make them work, and then get them down on paper, which is sometimes a challenge. If that doesn't happen quickly, please continue to be patient with me while you wait for updates. I'm so thankful you guys have been so patient with me with my absence. I hope to not have such a long break between postings this next time, but I can make no promises. Sorry.

As always, don't forget to review. I love feedback and love my readers telling me what's good, bad, or in between, and I especially love hearing ideas from my readers, so send them on in reviews if you have any, OK?

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	5. Moondance

I don't own the lyrics to Moondance. That's all I'm going to say.

_Three months later…_

On a warm summer night in May, Melanie once again found Roger on the roof. "Roger, are you OK?" she asked him, going over to him.

Roger looked up. "Hey," he said. "Oh, yeah, I'm all right."

But Melanie knew that look on his face and what it meant. "What are you thinking about?" she asked quietly. She sat down on the roof's edge next to him.

"Lots of things," he said, "everything that's happened since you came back into my life. Look, I know it hasn't been that long, but… Mel, have you ever thought about getting married again?"

"Have I ever thought about getting married again?" Melanie asked, surprised. "Well, um, I don't know. Even now, it still sounds pretty…"

"Crazy?" Roger suggested.

"Well, that wasn't the word I was looking for. More 'overwhelming', I think," Melanie said. "Why?"

"Well, because all I wanted back in high school was you to be my Mrs. Davis, and then you got hurt and sick and everything happened and you left, but now you're back and we started over and things have been so good for a while now, so I've been thinking about it a lot," Roger said.

"Roger, have your parents even seen me since I left?" Melanie asked nervously. "Would they take me back, particularly as their daughter-in-law?"

"I don't know, Mel, I bet they would. Mel, I love you. I still want to spend the rest of my life with you, like I did when I was 16, 18," Roger said, looking at her.

"But what's going to happen to Madeline and Br… when you get sick and everything, Roger? Have you ever thought of that?" Melanie asked. "I can't watch the love of my life die like Collins had to… twice."

She realized she had almost said 'Brianna', as though Brianna was still in their lives. But she wasn't and never could be again, as far as Melanie knew. She hoped Roger didn't catch that slip up.

Roger, of course, knew Melanie was talking about Brian's death, in addition to Angel. "Mel, I wish you wouldn't talk like that," he said.

"It's better to talk about it than avoid it," she said. "If we avoid the inevitable, it's just going to make it all the harder; not that it won't be hard anyway. You can't keep running from your HIV, Roger. You tried that once and it didn't work. You can accept it, yes, but it's still there and it's still going to kill you someday."

"Melanie, I wish so bad that I could take those years of my life back and redo them all over again," Roger yelled. "I love you, you know I do!"

"Roger, I already lost you once, I'm not going to lose you again," Melanie yelled back, looking at him with tears in her eyes.

"I know, that Melanie, so why don't you answer my question?" Roger asked, frustrated.

"Roger, why are we fighting over this?" Melanie said quietly, looking at him sadly. "We just said everything's been going so well, we shouldn't be fighting about something like the idea of marriage."

"I'll give you time to think about it," Roger said, looking at her. "I'll do it right. I won't just… bring it up in conversation."

"OK, Roger," Melanie said, nodding. "Do you want to go back inside?"

"No, thanks, I think I'm going to stay out here a while longer," Roger said. "It's such a nice night."

"Can I stay out here with you?" Melanie asked.

"Of course you can, Melanie," Roger said. He indicated next to him and she sat down. "You don't even have to ask."

"Thanks, Roger," Melanie said, sitting next to him.

Roger leaned back against the brick and Melanie lay back with him. Roger started to sing softly.

_Well, it's a marvelous night for a moon dance  
With the stars up above in your eyes  
A fantabulous night to make romance  
_'_Neath the cover of October skies_

He pulled out a harmonica and played the sweet, tender accompaniment to the song behind Melanie. Melanie smiled, closed her eyes, and listened to it, letting it take her away. She forgot all about the argument they had just had seconds ago. She didn't realize he had played her to sleep until she woke up in her bed in her apartment. She looked up at Roger, smiled sleepily, and fell back to sleep. They exchanged no words; there was no need to in this moment.

* * *

_Two weeks later…_

Ever since their argument about getting married, Roger had not brought up the subject since. He had thought about it almost every minute of every day, of course, but he had not spoken to Melanie about this. He didn't want her to feel the least bit pressured into marrying him and he wanted her to feel mutually with him that it was the right choice, whenever they did bring it up again, or if he proposed for real once he knew she was OK with the idea.

He did, however, want Melanie to see his parents again, and for them— particularly his father— to know everything that had happened ten years ago, and where they were standing now. He hadn't told either of his parents much about what had happened between him and Melanie before she'd left. He felt it had been a very private matter back then and that he would perhaps be judged by his parents, if he had told them. Roger felt now, ten years later, that it was time to come completely clean with them about what had happened.

"Melanie," he said, "how about taking the weekend and going to see my parents in Scarsdale?" He looked at her. "I mean, I haven't seen them in a long time, months now, and it'd be nice to see them again. Plus, we can see your mom again, too. I haven't seen her since the day you got better."

"That sounds great, Roger," Melanie said, "but do either of them know about Madeline?"

"No, I don't think so," Roger said, "but what does it matter? I bet they'll be excited to know they have a granddaughter… again."

"Again," Melanie echoed, giving him a look. "I hope they are, Roger, because I would love to go. I want Madeline to know her grandparents properly."

"OK, great, so let's start packing some things for this weekend to take," Roger said. "I'll get some things together and I'll meet you at your place, OK?"

"OK, Roger," Melanie said, smiling at him, and she left the loft.

* * *

"Baby, are you going to refold absolutely every pair of underwear I put in there?" Roger asked, laughing.

"Yes, Roger, I will, if I have to," Melanie said. "Your underwear can't have ears."

Roger rolled his eyes. "My underwear will have ears if I want them to," he said stubbornly.

"Not if I have my way," Melanie said sternly. Then she stuck her tongue out at him and laughed. "Roger, come on, we have to pack, or we'll be late leaving to go see them in the morning. You know I hate to feel rushed, and I know you're too lazy to ever be in a hurry to go anywhere except a gig or something."

"Well, that's what I have my lovely girl for," Roger said, leaning in and kissing her, "to keep me in line."

Melanie laughed. "Go on now," she said, "and get the rest of your clothes in order. And Roger," she added, "I will refold every single piece of clothing in there, if I have to, so I swear to God, please _try _to fold them right?"

Roger laughed and went back to folding his clothes and putting them in the suitcase.

* * *

"Roger," Mrs. Davis said happily, surprised when she opened the door the next day to see Roger, Melanie, and Madeline standing there. "What a surprise! It's so good to see you."

"Hi, Mom," Roger said, smiling and hugging his mother. "It's good to see you, too. I'm glad to be back for a visit. I mean, the city is great, but coming back here to the quiet and smallness of it is a relief."

Mrs. Davis smiled and turned to Melanie. "Hello, Melanie," she said, smiling and holding out her arms for a hug.

"Hi, Mrs. Davis," Melanie said, smiling and hugging her. "I'm so happy to see you. It's been a long time."

"It has, indeed," Mrs. Davis said, smiling at her. Melanie noticed there was not a trace of judgment in Mrs. Davis's eyes, and she was very thankful for this.

"How have you been, Mrs. Davis?" Melanie asked her. "And where is Mr. Davis?"

"He's working, but I'll call him and let him know you guys are visiting, so he'll get off early," Mrs. Davis said. "I've been good, mostly working. I've missed you and Roger, though. Roger hasn't visited me much lately."

Melanie nodded. "We've both missed you, too, Mrs. Davis," she said.

Mrs. Davis nodded and smiled. "Come in, sit down, we'll chat," she said.

Melanie followed Mrs. Davis with Roger and Madeline beside her. Melanie sat down in a chair with Madeline on her lap. Roger pulled up a chair next to them and sat down in it.

"So Melanie, what has been going on these past few years?" Mrs. Davis asked. "I don't believe I've seen you since sometime after graduation."

Melanie looked at Roger nervously. Mrs. Davis was getting right to the difficult things. She would have to tell Mrs. Davis everything right now.

"A lot has happened since I left, Mrs. Davis," Melanie said. "Um, maybe I should start from the beginning?"

"OK," Mrs. Davis said. "Only tell me what you want to tell me. I won't interrupt."

Melanie nodded. "OK," she said, and she plunged into the story of what had happened; about how she had decided, in the end, not to marry Roger; that it had been a reckless, although not foolish decision; how she had left a letter explaining why she had left, but it hadn't been found in time before she'd gotten to Collins' place; and how she had argued with Collins about why she had left Roger cold-footed on the altar and she had walked out after.

Then Melanie stopped in her story, watching Mrs. Davis's reaction the entire time. She was just about to tell the hardest part of her story.

"When I left Collins, I was upset and I got lost in the rain. Some guy came out of an alleyway and attacked and raped me," Melanie said, her voice strong. "Roger and Collins found me and then my mom and Maureen got through the storm from Scarsdale to Collins' place and helped me get better. After I was better, Roger and I argued about the wedding again, but in the end, we decided that, while we might not have liked it, it was best that I leave for a while and clear my head and start my life over.

"I was pregnant when I left, two weeks. I went to New York City to NYU for college and had Madeline here at the same time. She is Roger's daughter, Mrs. Davis, you have to know that. I vowed to myself when Madeline was born that I wouldn't raise her to lie or keep secrets," Melanie said, looking at Mrs. Davis, "so you had to know. Plus, I wanted her to meet her grandparents."

"So this is Brianna's younger sister?" Mrs. Davis asked, her voice shaking. She looked at Melanie nervously.

"Yes, Mrs. Davis, this is Brianna's biological younger sister," Melanie said, looking at her.

Mrs. Davis opened her mouth, closed it again, and then sighed and indicated for Melanie to go on.

"I left Scarsdale and went to the city. At first, it was only to clear my head, but eventually, I found out I was pregnant with Madeline and I had to start my life over there. I enrolled at NYU and managed to graduate in two years with a degree in office administration. Especially with having to take care of Maddy, it was really hard, but I did it. I even took a course from Collins." She smiled at him and he smiled back at her. "I lived in Chelsea, Greenwich Village, anywhere I could that was cheap so I could work while I supported Maddy. Katie was my roommate in college and she has been my best friend ever since and has helped me out so much with raising Maddy. She works nights at the Gershwin Theatre, stage managing for 'Wicked', so I can be with Madeline at night and work during the day. It works out pretty well."

"I want to take care of Madeline, too, Mom," Roger said, looking at his mother. "I mean, I'm her father, it's my responsibility. I have a right to be with her, you know?"

Mrs. Davis nodded. "You're absolutely right, Roger, and I'm proud of you for saying that," she said, smiling at him.

"Thanks, Mom," Roger said, smiling at his mother.

At this moment, Mr. Davis arrived home and walked through the door to the kitchen. "Hello, Roger," he said, surprised, smiling at his son.

"Hi, Dad," Roger said, going over to hug his father. "I hope you don't mind we came for a visit? It was kind of sudden and we didn't get a chance to give you a heads-up."

"Not at all, I'm always happy to see you," Mr. Davis said, smiling at him. He looked at Melanie. "Hello, Melanie. It's been a long time."

"Indeed, it has, Mr. Davis," Melanie said, smiling at him and hugging him as well. "We've just been telling Mrs. Davis everything."

"Ah," Mr. Davis said, nodding.

"I'll tell you everything in a second, Dad," Roger said. "Let's just let Melanie finish here first."

"OK," Mr. Davis said, and he sat down in a chair next to Mrs. Davis.

"I knew Roger had probably moved to the city because my mom kept telling me she'd not seen him around Scarsdale in ages," Melanie went on, "so I eventually tracked him down, because Collins told me where he… they… were living. I'm currently living in Mimi's old apartment."

Roger met his mother's eyes at this phrase, but didn't say anything.

"Roger and I have been trying really hard to start over, for Madeline's sake," Melanie finished. "We both realize the feelings from ten years ago are still there, hardly changed. It'll all just take time to adjust, though."

Roger met his father's eyes and they went into another room to talk. Melanie knew Roger was going to finally tell him everything. There would be no secrets between them from now on, if Melanie had her way. She knew Roger and the Davis' would agree.

Mrs. Davis nodded. "We're glad to finally see you, Melanie," she said, "and it's great that you and Roger are starting over."

"Thanks, Mrs. Davis," Melanie said, smiling at her.

"Please, call me Kristin," Mrs. Davis said.

"OK… Kristin," Melanie said. "If there's one thing I've learned over these past few years, it's that honesty is the most important aspect of a relationship. I don't want to raise Madeline to lie or cheat or hide things, so that's why I wanted you to know everything."

"That's a very good moral, Melanie," Mr. Davis said, nodding at her. "You seem to be a great mother."

"I try, Kristin," Melanie said, "I really try."

Mrs. Davis smiled at her. Melanie knew she and Mr. Davis had accepted her being back in Roger's life.

* * *

"It was funny how excited my mom was to see you, Roger," Melanie laughed, grinning at him.

"Yeah, well, I can't help it, I like people," Roger said, laughing and giving her a funny grin. Melanie laughed.

"Roger," Melanie said, "do you think we could… go visit my brother's grave? It's been so long since I've been there. I need to, uh, see him again. I want to talk to him."

"Yeah, sure, of course, baby," Roger said, holding her close. "I can wait in the car with Maddy if you want."

"Sure, that'd be great," Melanie said, "thanks, Roger." She smiled up at him.

"No problem, baby," Roger said, leaning down to kiss her.

* * *

That afternoon, Melanie and Roger went with Madeline to the cemetery. "Maddy, sweetie, I'm just going to go for a short walk, OK?" Melanie asked Madeline. "I'll be back in a second."

"OK, Mommy," Madeline said. "Daddy, will you play rock-paper-scissors with me while Mommy goes on her walk?"

"Sure, munchkin," Roger said, smiling at Madeline and he turned around in his seat to play rock-paper-scissors with her.

Melanie got out of the car and walked over to Brian's grave. Even though it was warm outside, she shivered. She always got a chill when she went to go talk to her late brother.

Feeling slightly foolish, Melanie started to speak. "Hi, Brian, it's Melanie," she said. "Um… I don't really know what to say, even though I have a lot on my mind… I'm back with Roger. We have another daughter together, her name is Madeline. She's ten. You should see her when she's with Roger. She talks like she's sixty-four years old, she's already so full of wisdom. She and Roger get along really well, which is great, considering it's the first time they've ever seen each other.

"I guess I should give you an update on how everybody's doing. Maureen is still as dramatic as she always was, she now protests losing her performance space because Mark and Roger refuse to pay their rent, or something like that; I'll have to get the full details later," Melanie went on. "She and Mark broke up a couple years ago. She left him for a lawyer named Joanne, isn't that weird? They clash a lot, but when they get along, they're great together. Um, Mimi, you don't know her. Roger met her three years ago. After I left, he performed in gigs at clubs and stuff and met this girl named April. He moved into Collins' flat in the city with Maureen and Mark and their now-landlord, Benny. April got him into drugs, heroin mostly, and then they both discovered they were HIV-positive."

The tears started to flow down Melanie's face. "April killed herself after she found out they were positive. They found her in the bathroom. She had slit her wrists. I should hate her for doing it, but at the same time, I feel sorry for her that she couldn't handle that, or figure out some other positive way to stay healthy for longer, you know? Well, anyway, Roger isn't the only one who's positive. Collins is, too, and Mimi was as well, from her heroin addiction. Collins is positive, because…" She started to sob and cry. "Oh, Brian, he's positive because of the transfusion. That one stupid transfusion that he got after you guys crashed the car when I was a sophomore." She put her face in her hands, trying and failing to hold back the tears. "I don't want you to blame yourself because it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have prevented it from raining so hard that night, and you couldn't have prevented the car hydroplaning… He's healthy, though, Roger as well. They're both on AZT and doing well. Mimi died last year, though, of AIDS and an overdose.

"I guess I should tell you the most important part now; I can't possibly not tell you this," Melanie said. "Collins met this amazing guy named Angel in 1989. They hit it off right away and were so good together. Mark showed me his film, 'Today 4 U: Proof Positive', and it shows Collins and Angel together. I wish you could see them, Brian, they were amazing together. Or maybe you did and I didn't, except on this film." She looked skyward and smiled. "I bet you've met Angel up there, huh? He's a great guy, isn't he? I can only judge by the film, but I wish I could have met him. Roger says Angel talked all about you and I because Collins talked about us to him." Melanie smiled.

"Mark is still filming as much as he can, as always. He's still hoping for another big break, like 'Today 4 U' had been, but it's not there yet. It'll come, though, he's more brilliant than he realizes. I should tell you, Brian, I was pregnant when I left Roger, two weeks along. We have a beautiful daughter named Madeline now. She's ten. She's so beautiful, Brian. She has Roger's beautiful hair and his amazing eyes. She's such a good girl, Brian. We're so fortunate that we were blessed with her. It was hard for me, juggling college and a job and a kid, for so long, but I did it. I'm actually really proud of myself. But every time I look at Madeline, I think of Brianna. I miss her so much, Brian."

Melanie started to cry again. Roger noticed how she was curled up on the ground and he started to worry. He got out of the car and went over to Melanie, Madeline by his side. He put his arms around her wordlessly and held her as she cried.

"She'd be twelve now, isn't that crazy?" Melanie sobbed. "I miss her so damn much, Brian. I think about her every day and every time I look at…" Melanie stopped, knowing Madeline was right next to her and could hear every word. "A lot of everything has been really hard, but I'm trying to be strong and do what Mimi taught us, which is to forget regret and live no day but today. It's really hard sometimes, but I'm trying. Maybe I would feel better about it all if I could see Brianna, just once; see what she looks like, hear her voice, see her personality, find out her likes and dislikes and favorites… I don't think that's possible, but if it is, I'm going to try and meet her somehow. That's all I want."

Melanie stood up, Roger's arms still around her. She reached out and took Madeline's hand. "I know I can never have her back as my daughter living with me again," she finished, "but… I just still want to try to be her mother, you know? She deserves to know who Roger and I are."

"You're right, Melanie," Roger whispered in her ear. "She should know who we are. We should try and meet her, or at least send her a letter and pictures or something. It could be a project we can do together, Madeline too."

Melanie nodded and Roger gently wiped away her tears and held her until she stopped shaking. "We'll do that, Melanie," Roger said. "It'll help us out. She isn't gone, she's still alive and well, we're certain of that. I mean, we can feel it, right?" Melanie nodded against his chest. "So let's do that. It'll give us, you know, closure."

Melanie nodded again and started to walk away with him and Madeline.

* * *

Mark walked into the kitchen at the loft and saw Roger sitting in a chair at the table. Melanie and Madeline had gone back to their apartment for the night. "Roger, are you OK?" he asked.

Roger looked at Mark, but didn't jump. "Mark," he said, "I'm…" He wanted to say 'fine', but it suddenly spilled out of him. "Mark, we went to Brian's grave today. Melanie talked to him and she suddenly started crying and spilling everything to him about what has happened since she left. I had no idea she was holding it all in and regretting it all like that. You should have seen her, she was crying and shaking and she said she misses Brianna every day and wishes she could know what she looks like now, because she'd be twelve, what her voice sounds like, her likes and dislikes and favorites…" Roger put his face in his hands and started to cry. "I miss her so much, too, Mark. I couldn't stop thinking about her at all these past ten years, even when I was high with April. Her little baby face stuck in my head anyway. I couldn't forget about her, no matter how hard I tried. The day we had to give her up was the worst day of my life. I'll never forget it."

"I know, Roger, man, I miss her too," Mark said. He hugged Roger and for several moments, the two men cried together. "Are you going to be OK?" Mark asked, after a few minutes, looking up at Roger.

Roger cleared his throat, shook himself, and nodded. "Yeah," he said, "yeah, I'll be OK. I'm going to go take a shower, OK? Clear my head…"

"OK, Roger," Mark said, squeezing his shoulder before Roger walked away.

Roger went into the bathroom, undressed, and stepped into the shower. He turned on the water and let it sluice over his body, soaking him gently. He didn't really shower to get clean this time; he was using the sound of the water so Mark wouldn't hear him crying. He was so nervous, and yet so excited, at the idea of being able to meet his other daughter for real. But how he and Melanie would achieve it, he didn't know.

This is the end of chapter 5. I realize it's really long, but I thought it was still very possible for Roger and Melanie to still be regretting their past, as much as they are trying hard to start over and forget regret. It's all easier said than done, you know. Melanie had to tell Brian everything, it only made sense. I know I didn't include a section of a true visit to Mrs. Schwartz's place, but I felt this chapter was already really long in itself and had to end it somewhere. Besides, it probably would have just been a repeat of the visit to the Davises' place, except that Mrs. Schwartz knew what happened with Melanie and why she left in the end.

I do want Roger and Melanie to meet Brianna again, although I don't know when it will happen. I'm not sure when exactly in the story I want it to happen, I mean. But I'm trying, I really am, to make it work. It would be a really good subplot to the story. Brianna does have to come back into the story somehow, and with the idea I have in mind for future chapters, she's going to. So I will figure out a way for them to meet her somehow, if it takes me the rest of this year to figure out how (I doubt it will, I've had the idea for months, LOL. But it's very dramatic, just so you know.)

I'm not doing a very good job with strengthening Mark and Katie's relationship at the moment, and I acknowledge that. But I need a little help from my beta, katetastic, first. She is writing something up for me as quickly as she can, but she's very busy with life right now, so until things settle down for her, I understand that she's writing whenever she can, with whatever inspiration she gets. I'll post up more Mark/Katie soon, I promise. :) I hope you guys are liking how their relationship is going. Melanie and Roger's relationship will get happy again soon, I promise, just as soon as they meet Brianna, because they are going to, really. I can see some real potential for that happening. I just have to write it (and believe me, I'm trying.) Then after that, both Melanie and Roger and Mark and Katie's relationships will get even more serious (take a guess; I have an idea, ha ha.)

I'll post up the next chapter as soon as I can. I am surprised and happy that I've been able to post up these past two, with as busy as I've been lately. Please continue to be patient with me while you wait for updates; if life gets busy for me again, it will take longer, but I'll try my best. No promises, though.

As always, don't forget to review. I noticed none of my old reviewers have come back for new updates. I hope to see you all soon, because you know how much I love your feedback, opinions, and ideas. Please review. Thanks.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	6. The Cutting Room Floor of Memories

I know I'm moving the timelines rather quickly, but it's so I can get to where I really want to get to in this story. There's no point dragging some things out, either, is there? I'm trying my best to make sure you guys don't get confused with where we're at, so let me just make something clear. It is June 1993 where this chaptefr starts off, two years since Mimi died. I don't want any confused readers.

Oh, and another thing… I only just realized today that the story is currently set in 1993 and _Wicked _was not a stage production until about 2003. I don't know why it took me so long to realize this error, but it's much too perfect to take out or change. Please don't discredit me for using stage manager of _Wicked_ as Katie's occupation (she's Mark's girlfriend, remember, so them both being involved in film and theatre makes it so perfect, I can't _not _use that, you know? Plus, it's my second-favorite Broadway musical of all time, so I have to use it, I really do.) So please continue enjoying that.

This chapter was written 99 percent by my beta, katetastic. She worked very hard on this chapter for me and I appreciate her time and effort and dedication so much. You rock, chica, and you know it. Be sure to give her some love, in addition to me for updating, haha. I am so excited to beta her upcoming Rent story; I know it will be wonderful. Anyways, here's chapter 6. We delve more into Katie and Mark's relationship, lives, and pasts (there may be flashbacks of what they talk about in a future chapter.)

Of course, I don't own the Rent quote. But it seemed fitting, as Katie and Mark are both involved in film and theatre and it pertains to Mark himself, so I'm renting it. Enjoy!

Mark and Katie were walking around the city in March, on their eighth-month anniversary. The couple decided they would show each other their lives. Mark was wielding his camera while interviewing Katie.

"So Katie, what brought you to New York City?" Mark questioned, mimicking Alexi Darling, the former head interviewer of Buzzline, and his former boss.

"Why, all the sexy filmmakers, of course," Katie replied, laughing.

Mark blushed. "Well, aside from all the sexy filmmakers, what brought you here?"

"I grew up in the theatre. I started out as an actor and then ended up as a stage manager. I went to unified auditions. Made it into the Tish School in NYU, went for stage managing and the rest is history." Katie flashed a smile to the camera.

"Where are you originally from?"

"I am from Louisville, Kentucky. It is actually pronounced Loo-a-vul. Everyone in the world is wrong when they say Loo-ee-ville," she responded, rolling her eyes.

"Now, what about all of the sexy filmmakers, any one of them catch your eye, or do you just have a thing for a man with a camera?"

"Nope, only strawberry blonde ones with cute glasses," Katie said, making Mark blush harder.

Mark cleared his throat and threw one last question at Katie. "How on earth did you end up in our Boho family?"

"Well, Melanie was my roommate in college. I wanted to make sure that I didn't end up with a theatre major as my roommate, because I couldn't handle that all the time. I helped her take care of Maddy. We worked our classes out so one of us could be with her at all times. Then, once we graduated, I landed the job of my dreams. I work nights and weekends, mostly, and Mel works days. That was how we managed keeping Maddy out of daycare, which here in the city would be insanely expensive. Then I became a permanent person in both their lives, and then when Roger came back into Mel's life, you all crashed into mine. Something I thank God every day for."

She quickly caught up with him and grabbed his hand. They walked hand in hand down the streets of New York City, until they came upon a secluded area of Tompkins Square Park. It was a small playground where little kids always played.

"This is my favorite place to film. I love how alive everything here is. No matter what when you come here there is something alive, something moving. When I first left Brown, I was so worried that nothing was ever going to come of my life. This little part of the park was my sanctuary. It was where I came when Roger and April were getting high and I felt no one there cared about me. I would come here to realize that without me doing anything the world could still go on," Mark said.

Katie led him to a bench and sat down and waited. She knew Mark had more to say; he just needed time to put it in words. They sat in silence for a little while before Mark spoke again.

"The hardest thing I ever did was leaving Brown. I knew in my heart it was wrong to be there; I couldn't stay in a place where I didn't feel right. My parents were paying me to go to a school for medicine; I could never go to school and learn how people were dying. I knew I would be there to help people, but my patients would die and then I would have to become numb to death. I just knew, deep down, I couldn't ever live with myself if someone died while I was there.

"So I told my parents how I felt, and that all I wanted was to go to NYU… the Tish School, as a matter of fact… for film. They said this was a phase, just a feeling, something everyone went through, and I could just get over it or get out of the house.

"I knew needed to get out of the school, but I couldn't do it during the spring semester of junior year. I wanted to make sure I had a job and a place to live. Roger was the one who could and would just leave. I was the one who made sure all the loose ends were tied up.

"I knew I had a place to stay with Roger and Collins, but I didn't have a job. So every day, once classes were over, I would head into the city and look for a job. I ended up with a job as a waiter in the Life Café.

"I worked there until…" Katie laced her hand through his, knowing he would need moral support to get through this next part of his life story.

"… until April died… killed herself, rather. It is something I could never forgive her for. You should have seen Roger when he found her, Katie. It was the worst thing I have ever experienced. She left him a note saying we have AIDS. She didn't have the decency to tell him and to work through it with him. No, she left him a goddamn note saying they had AIDS.

"Then we forced Roger into sobriety. We never took him to any hospitals because we were afraid he would get thrown in jail for using and selling heroin. There were several close calls and overdoses and relapses… One day, he shoved me against the wall, demanding all the money I had on me. He was starting to lose his high and was getting desperate. I tried to reason with him, but he was always so unreasonable while he was high, it did no good to try and talk him down. He was punching me in the stomach when Collins walked in. Collins pulled him off of me and pinned _him_ against the wall. He got in Roger's face, telling him he was going to stop doing smack or get the hell out of the apartment. He then made Roger see what he did to me and apologize. I was vomiting blood at this point.

"The withdrawal was the worst thing. I had to quit my job to stay with him. He couldn't be trusted to stay alone. Collins made more money than the both of us put together, so it was my responsibility to make sure that Roger wasn't allowed out of the house. It was really rough. I have been to the ER more times than I can count. Then, six months later, was the fateful day when he met Mimi."

Mark stopped talking for a moment, trying to keep from crying. Katie scooted over to Mark and put her arms around him. He broke down at her gentle touch and started crying, crying for all the things he had lost; Maureen; April, the part of his best friend he had lost to drugs; for losing his father's love when he decided not to follow in his footsteps and become a doctor; and for losing himself somewhere along the way.

They sat like that for a while, Katie holding Mark in her arms, waiting for the tears to subside. She rocked him gently, making soothing noises, letting him calm down. She knew this is what he needed. She was so glad he trusted her with all of this; he was always the strong one who was expected to keep up this facade and didn't know what to do when he wasn't strong.

He stopped crying and looked up. He wiped his eyes and started to talk again. "Alright, now that I have thoroughly depressed this date, we should do something else. The plan for this date was to get to know me, but I end up pouring out my heart to you."

"I don't mind in the slightest. That's what I am here for. I am—" Katie tried to say, but Mark cut her off quickly.

"I know you are, and that's what I love about you, but really I don't want to talk about it anymore. Let me show you how to film," Mark said, looking much happier. He couldn't wait to bring Katie into his world.

Mark picked up his camera and fiddled with the buttons. "This is my baby. One time Roger thought it would be funny if he took her—"

"Wait, your camera is a her?" Katie asked.

Mark blushed and ducked his head, embarrassed. "Yeah, her name is Bella."

"I think it is cute. I name everything, too. My car's name was Penelope."

"Here, do you want to hold my camera?" Mark said, with the utmost confidence, knowing Katie would be fine with his camera. He would never give his camera over to someone he didn't trust. Maureen sure as hell never got to hold his camera. She had tried and failed many a time, as he had always managed to get it back.

"I actually get to hold the famous camera? I don't think Roger has even gotten to hold the camera, if what Mel has told me is true."

"Well, one time he took her from me and then made me chase him 13 blocks to get her back. Ever since then, no one has touched the camera, except Joanne, once, when she was filming me dancing at the Life Café. Roger got his hands on it once at the Life, too; how I didn't notice, I don't know."

"Wow, what happened to Roger after you got your baby back?"

"Well, let's just say he had to get new guitar strings for Stella," Mark said, a look of slight contempt on his face.

Katie threw her head back and laughed. "I am sure that he learned his lesson the hard way."

Mark nodded. He then, very carefully, handed Bella over to Katie, allowing her to hold his precious camera. He walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her to reach his camera. Katie smiled at his presence behind her.

"So this button here," Mark said, pointing to a button on the side of the camera, "is what you use to zoom in and out. This one turns the camera off and on, and this one records."

Katie had an intense look of concentration on her face. She didn't want to mess up the film, mess up his documentary, or, God forbid, his camera. Mark chuckled. He loved that she didn't want to mess anything up, but he really wanted her to try it.

"You silly girl, I handed you the camera. Don't worry about hurting it. I trust you with my life. I know you can handle my camera," Mark said with a laugh.

Katie blushed. She knew she was being silly, but she was just a little shocked he was letting her use his camera. She turned on the camera, and was greeted by the familiar whir of the camera recording. A smile quickly broke over her face.

Mark smiled; he loved that he was able to make her smile like that. She quickly got up and went across the park to film a mother playing with her baby. He watched her film everything she could see. After a while, she switched the camera off and head back to Mark.

"That was so much fun. I am so glad that we got Maddy one. I know she will love doing this. I got the greatest moment. This little girl was playing in the sand and a boy came up to her. They started to play and then he kissed her on the cheek and ran back to his mom. I think it might have been the cutest thing I have ever seen. They were so adorable, Mark. If we ever have kids, I want them to be just as cute as those two," Katie said, her eyes dancing with pleasure. She sat next to Mark and leaned against him, watching leaves falling from the trees.

A comfortable silence fell over the couple, watching the children frolic in the leave. After a moment Mark spoke up. "Have you thought about us having children before?"

Katie was surprised. "Where did that come from?"

"Earlier you said 'if' we ever have kids, you hoped they would be like some cute film subjects you've seen. I wanted to know if you ever thought about us having children together before? I mean, if you want to?"

"Yeah, I have," Katie replied, not looking at Mark, fearing his response.

He tilted her chin, making her look at him. He pressed his lips against hers. She sighed, completely relaxing against his lips. They moved in perfect sync; Mark ran his tongue along her bottom lip, asking entrance to her mouth. Katie quickly opened her mouth and found his tongue caressing hers. Neither of them planned on stopping until they heard a little girl ask her mommy why that man looked like he was trying to eat the pretty lady. The couple pulled apart quickly, looking sheepish.

"I'm so sorry, ma'am, we didn't mean to bring anything up with your child," Mark quickly apologized, feeling bad for corrupting the child.

"Don't worry about it. It is refreshing to see two people so deeply in love," the woman said, with an easy smile.

Mark decided to take Katie to lunch at the Life Café. He knew she had been there before, but on a day to show her his life, what better place to take her than the Life Café?

They walked down the city streets, hand in hand, until they got to the small café. They quickly walked in; well aware of the glares they were receiving from the management. Katie giggled under her breath, recalling Mark telling her about the time they danced on the tables.

They looked over the menu, a grilled chicken sandwich for her and miso soup for him, and went back to talking about anything and everything.

"So, I was thinking about something you said to me earlier."

Katie nodded for him to continue, unsure of what he was talking about.

"You said that you were glad I trusted you enough to talk to you about my past. Well, you were going to tell me yours, but then I cut you off, not wanting to talk about it any more. I just wanted you to know how much it meant to me that you care enough to hear me talk about it. I mean, no one has ever really been there for me like you were today. Collins is the closest to helping me out like that, but he is still too involved in the group. It was nice to talk to someone who hasn't been through everything I was talking about," Mark explained.

"Collins was there for every emergency trip, trying to tell me that I should've sent Roger to rehab, but I couldn't because he's my best friend. I mean, at least here I could help him. We've been friends since kindergarten. I couldn't just say, 'You're on drugs, now get the hell out of my life.' I felt like you understand how much that would kill me, how I couldn't ever do that to him. You're the first to ever get it."

Katie smiled. It was something she always did for people. She knew how much it meant to Mark to have some one to listen to him. So many people just took him for granted and used him to listen. He never got a chance for things to be the other way around. "I'm so glad that you feel that way, honey. It means so much to mean than you can ever know. I love you," Katie said.

They both leaned in and shared a lovely kiss before the waiter came over and handed them their food.

* * *

"So this is the place that owns my soul," Katie said to Mark, who came to the theatre after she called him, before the ten-minute break. She let out a dramatic sigh and rolled her eyes. "We have ten minutes, then I have to run 'For Good'. Since we are losing Anna Marie, Elphaba, next week, we are using this rehearsal to work Isabelle into her role. Sorry, I know I was supposed to take you on a date where you got to know all about me, but I need to run these songs before anything happened. Isabelle does get used whenever Anne Marie is sick, but she needs a chance to prepare for working daily, once she takes over the role completely."

"I wanted to see your life, honey. This is your life. I am excited that I get to see a rehearsal. I am glad you don't mind me being underfoot," Mark assured her.

"Not at all, you are so great." She leaned in for a quick kiss. Sam, her flyer, walked over and she called out to him before he could go anywhere. "Hey, Sam, could you tell Isabelle to come out on stage and send Brittany out with her? We need to come back. The rest of the actors will be here at two, to work with Isabelle on the crowd scenes. We have to stop at one for lunch, and it is already twelve fifteen."

Katie started the rehearsal, and the musical director watched from the sides, making sure Isabelle and Brittany were hitting every note and entrance and keeping the musical integrity of the show. Mark watched Katie go over the blocking with Isabelle, completely amazed with how wrapped up she was in the show. He could see the passion pouring off of her.

"All right, girls, great job. We are going to break for lunch. Be back no later than two o clock. We have to get started right away with 'Dancing Through Life'," Katie said. Then she headed back to the stage managers' table.

"Ready for lunch, Mark?" she asked. I am going to take you to my favorite place to eat, where I eat when we have rehearsal. We need to be back by one forty-five. It is this great little deli called Steven's and Steven's. They know me by name there. I love it."

"Sounds great," Mark said.

They walked hand in hand to the small deli and walked in.

"Hey, Katie, how's it going? Will it be the usual?" Henry, the owner of the café asked as she walked in the door.

Katie shot Mark an "I-told-you-so" look. "Yes, please. Two of them though. One is for my boyfriend, Mark. Henry, this is Mark. Mark this is Henry, the owner of this fine establishment. He makes the best food of the world." She walked over to the counter, grabbed two iced teas, and then paid for the food. She led Mark over to her favorite booth, the one with the window that overlooked Times Square.

"This is the best place to sit in the whole place. I love sitting here and watching the city come alive. It is great. When I came here, I didn't know anyone, and I was scared to death. I knew I was making the right decision as soon as I set foot in the city. It felt so right, so much of what I was looking for.

"The scariest thing was coming so far from home, not knowing anyone. I walked into the theatre and watched the show the senior acting majors were performing and I realized how much I belonged there, and how in love with the theatre I really was.

"From there, I graduated, did a few odd jobs as the stage manager. You know— shows that were work-shopping and such. Then I interviewed at the Gershwin, and from there I worked my way up from production assistant to stage manager.

"Now here I am, hopelessly in love with you, eating a grilled cheese and tomatoes al fresco sandwich." Katie said, stabbing a noodle with her fork. They both ate, watching the city life rush by. "Tell me, Mark, what do you think of this place?"

"I love it. It is such a hole-in-the-wall place. It hasn't hit all the tourist guide books yet, so not everyone is flocking here all the time. The food is great, too, not to mention the gorgeous woman I am eating lunch with."

Katie blushed at his compliment. She loved hearing how much she meant to him. She grew up being everyone's best friend, not their girlfriend. She was the one the boys went to with girl troubles. It was nice to hear someone telling her how much she meant to them.

They finished eating their food, and walked back to the theatre. Katie ran the rest of the rehearsal as Mark looked on, wishing he had his camera so he could capture her passion.

"Thanks, guys, this was a great day! See y'all tomorrow at two. We are gonna run 'No One Mourns The Wicked' and go straight into 'Dear Ol Shiz'." She dismissed the cast and then turned around to Mark.

"Now that I am done with rehearsal, would you like a backstage tour?"

"I would love one!" Mark said enthusiastically.

"Good, just let me tell Sam he can go, and that I will be locking up this afternoon, so we don't have to call Todd, my assistant stage manager, in." Katie walked over to Sam, told her what she was planning and then went back to Mark. "So, you want the grand tour?"

Mark nodded and walked quickly, trying to keep up with Katie, who seemed to be jogging everywhere she was going. Katie realized what she was doing and slowed down.

"Sorry," Katie said, with an apologetic smile, "I am so used to walking around this theatre with a purpose, and something that needed to get done ASAP, I'm used to power walking to my destination."

Mark laughed, "It's OK, sweetie. I am glad that you slowed down a bit though."

Katie laughed and walked up the four flights of stairs leading to the light station. "This is the light station, where Michelle hits the go button to run the lights during the show. She also uses the sub masters to work specials."

She led them into another section of the booth. "This is my lovely station. The infrared monitor is so I can see what is going on during the blackouts, my cue book so I can call the show, a stop watch to time the run, and the headset I use to call cues."

She walked out the door, a different one than the one they had come in, and up a flight of stairs leading to the fly system's deck. "This is the fly deck. It is used to fly in sets and stuff. This is completely separate from the flying machine used in the show, however. This one is only used to fly a scrim, a pole for lighting, the tabs, etc."

Mark looked at her, very confused. "I understood 'only used to fly in a hummafluchie', 'a pole for lighting', 'the thingamabobber', etc. It is like you are speaking a different language!"

Katie threw her head back and laughed. "It's OK. I could explain it, but then I would feel like I was back in scenic art. So just know this isn't for the flying machine and it can be used to drop things from the fly space."

Mark laughed and nodded. "Sounds good," he said, smiling at her.

She led him back down to the stage level, and took him to the flying machine. "This is the flying machine, but I can't really tell you much about it, it's not my area of expertise. Sam is the fly guy. He's the one who knows how to really work this beast. All I know is if I push this button, it goes up or down. I only know that for emergencies, like, if Sam was to collapse, I would need to know how to get the machine back down or up, depending on where we are in the show. Or something could go wrong with our Elphaba."

She showed him around all of the dressing rooms and then showed him prop heaven, where all the props are stored at night. Then she took him out on stage.

"Ever since I was a little girl, I was enthralled with the stage. Every time I come out on the stage to check something, run dimmer check or whatever, the little girl in me gets so excited. I remember how much excitement I got from seeing show, I always hope there is a little girl in the audience who goes home and dreams about becoming part of the magic she watched that night."

Mark smiled. He loved seeing Katie this wrapped up in what she loved. He quickly walked over to her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

* * *

Katie and Mark stood on the doorstep of Sam's building, waiting to be let in. They were there for the cast party they were having that night. The next day was going to be the last performance by Anna Marie, so they were celebrating her last night with the cast and welcoming Isabelle into the permanent cast.

Katie fiddled with the hem of her dark blue dress. It hit her just above the knee, and she felt like it was a little too short. Mark noticed, and pulled her hands away from her dress. "Stop it. You look beautiful in that dress," he admonished her gently.

Katie gave him a small smile. "You don't think it is too short, do you?"

"No, I like it. It looks perfect on you," he assured her softly.

At that moment, Sam pulled the door open. "Hey, guys, welcome to the lame party. No alcohol, no smoking, no nothing," he greeted them.

Katie laughed. "That is always the complaints about these cast parties," she explained, seeing Mark's confusion. "The performers try not to drink, because after a while it is hard on your voice. And you know how smoking gets. So in order to help that out, there is never any liquor or smoking at the parties; which is a shame, because I would love to see Sam here drunk. Sometime, Sam, you are gonna have to go out with us. Mo will make sure you get good and drunk. Plus, I think you and Collins would hit it off."

Sam nodded. "Just tell me when and where and I will be there," he said.

"Good, now let's get this lame ass party started," Katie said, walking into the large apartment.

This is the end of chapter 6. It was originally 27 pages long, so I had to cut a lot of things out, to be put into chapter 7, which will be posted up soon, and future chapters. I hope you liked this chapter. I have to send out a huge thanks to my beautiful, amazing, beta, katetastic. You are truly my muse and inspiration. Thank you for helping me with this chapter.

As always, don't forget to review. Chapter 7 will be posted up as soon as possible and will be probably just as long as this chapter, so keep an eye out for it. Thanks for reading.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	7. Christmas Presents and Defying Gravity

This chapter is dedicated to my best friend and beta, katetastic. It has been in the works for a few weeks now, as a surprise for her. I don't own Wicked or the Spring Awakening reference (I'll admit it, I know nothing about Spring Awakening, upon occasion, I just like the term, "totally fucked", LOL. Don't sue me!!) Enjoy! :)

_Three months later..._

One night in September, Mark found Roger sitting on the roof of the loft, playing _Moondance _on his harmonica. "Hey, Rog," he said. "Are you OK?"

Roger stopped playing and looked around. "Oh, hi, Mark," he said. "Yeah, I'm good. I just came up here to think."

"Oh yeah, what are you thinking about?" Mark asked him.

Roger looked at Mark. "I think I'm going to propose to Melanie," he said.

Mark's eyebrows rose. "You think?" he asked. "What do you mean, you think? That's a really serious thing. Don't you think you should be certain first?"

"I am certain, Mark. Melanie came back into my life and I still love her as much as I did on day one," Roger said. "I have to take that as a sign. It can't be anything else. I'm serious about asking her to marry me again."

Mark nodded. "Wow, Roger," he said. "I mean, I'm excited for you, I really am. It's just, this seems really sudden and I'm only looking out for you when I say I want to make sure you're serious about this before doing it again. I mean, you remember in high school, you did it sort of on the fly and it didn't turn out so well."

"Yeah, I remember, Mark," Roger said, suddenly sounding bitter. "But I've thought about it for a long time now. I can't think about it anymore. I just have to do it."

"I understand. Well, then, I'm thrilled for you," Mark said, smiling at him. "But who's going to be your Best Man?"

"I'm going to have two," Roger said. He looked at Mark. "I am not even going to try to choose between you and Collins. I can't do it."

Mark smiled. "I'm honored, Roger."

Roger smiled. "Thanks, Mark," he said. He looked at Mark. "Hey, you and Katie seem to be getting pretty serious. Is there anything like this going out that I should know about?"

Mark nodded again. "I've been thinking a lot lately about proposing to her, too. I mean, think about it. With Maureen, things didn't work out, but she's happy— usually, anyway— with Joanne. When Melanie came back, Katie entered my life and she's the girl of my dreams. She really is. I thought Maureen was, but that was just an immature high school ambition or something. Katie truly completes me."

"Yeah, she's lots of fun, you're no fun. She definitely completes you, Mark," Roger teased him, grinning evilly.

Mark hit him on the shoulder. "Watch it," he said, but he was laughing. "So yeah, I'm definitely thinking about it. I am not telling you when I'm going to do it, though."

"Aw, man, why?" Roger whined. "I'd tell you."

"Maybe you would, you know… tell. But you've… done this before, I haven't. I want to keep it to myself to make it perfect in every way," Mark said. "I can't mess this up with Katie."

Roger nodded. "OK, I get you," he said. "Hey, maybe we should ask Collins to go ring shopping with us? We could definitely use his input."

"Sure, Roger, that sounds like a great idea," Mark said, smiling at Roger.

"Thanks for listening, Mark," Roger said, smiling back at him.

"No problem, Roger," Mark said, and they went back to the loft together.

_

* * *

_

One month later...

"Collins," Roger said, on October 24th. "Do you think you could help me with something?"

"Sure, Roger, man, anything," Collins said. "What's up?"

"Will you come to the mall with me, now, while Melanie and Katie are out Halloween costume shopping with Madeline?" Roger asked. He knew he was asking in a really suspicious way, but he couldn't help it.

Collins noticed Roger was nervous and edgy. "Roger, you're acting weird," he said. "Is something bothering you?"

"No, not at all; just come with me, please?" Roger asked. "I really need your help."

"OK, OK, man," Collins said, "all you had to do was ask. Sure, I'll go with you now. We can take Mark, too. He's in his room, working on a film. I'll go get him."

Roger nodded, looking very nervous. Collins got Mark from his room and the two men followed Roger out of the loft.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Collins stopped and gave Roger a look. Roger had led him into a jewelry store.

"Hey, man, do you mind telling me what's going on?" he asked.

"We're ring shopping," Mark answered innocently.

"Mark and I are both going to propose," Roger said seriously.

Collins was blown away. "What? No way, seriously?" he asked. "That's great. Uh… when did this come about?"

"We talked together about it a month ago," Roger said. "We both realized that we have the girls of our dreams these days and that we want it to stay that way forever. Plus, in addition to being finally married to Melanie, I want to be Madeline's father for real, not just on a piece of paper that is her birth certificate. I still love Melanie as much as I did when I first met her in high school and nothing is going to change that; the same with my love for my daughter."

"And Katie is the girl of my dreams," Mark said. "It didn't take me long to realize that." He looked at Collins seriously. "Collins, do you think Mimi and Angel are helping us out? Do you think they sent Melanie back to Roger and Katie to me?" As he said this, he picked out a ring. "I mean, does it make sense to think that or is that totally fucked?"

"Nah, Mark, I think that makes total sense," Collins said, shaking his head. "Look at our lives. Melanie came back, you're great with Katie, Madeline is the best little girl, like, ever, and we're all healthy. It has to be some good karma or luck from our two amazing friends in Heaven. And if it isn't, well, then I'll be damned if it's not a fucking amazing placebo effect or something."

Roger nodded. "OK, this is the ring I want for Mel," he said, picking out a small diamond ring.

"Wow, Rog, a diamond?" Collins asked him, surprised.

Roger glared at him. "If Mel was Angel, would you have anything less?" he asked, trying to make it sound less harsh than it was.

"No way, absolutely not," Collins said firmly, shaking his head, although still skeptical. He didn't know how Roger could afford a diamond ring on no income, but if he could, he could and wouldn't have it any other way. "OK, I'm convinced."

"Then I'm down. I'm gonna go pay," Roger said, and he went up to the counter.

"Collins, what do you think of this one?" Mark asked him, holding up a ring with a peridot, not a diamond, in it. "I mean, a peridot is her birth stone and it's also her eye color, so I think it makes sense to get this. It would be different, unique, you know? And I could always inset diamonds."

"I bet she would love it, Mark. I say go for it," Collins said. He lowered his voice. "Are you OK, man? You seem… paler than usual, if I may say so."

"I'm just really nervous about this, Collins," Mark said, after a deep sigh. He watched Roger pay for his ring at the counter. "I mean, Roger's already done this once, twice, almost three times… sort of, anyway…"

Collins snorted, which surprised Mark. He raised his eyebrows at Collins and Collins explained his thoughts on that.

"Well, if you look at it this way, a high school class ring is no replacement for a real ring, and they were—"

"— young back then. Yeah, I know," Mark said irritably, turning away from him. "I just want to do this right, Collins. I can't mess things up with Katie. I just can't."

"You will do it right, man, just trust yourself," Collins said, ruffling Mark's hair in a brotherly way. "You're so worried about this because you're concerned about doing it right, and since you're so concerned, I guarantee you will make the night you propose the best night of her life."

Mark smiled. "Thanks, Collins," he said, smiling at him.

"No problem, man," Collins said. "You gonna go pay for that or are we going to get arrested for shoplifting and have to propose in jail?"

Mark grinned. He couldn't laugh past the nervous lump in his throat. "Ha… yeah… arrested… pay… right," he stammered.

"What's eating him?" Roger asked, coming back over to Collins with his purchase, as Mark went past him to pay for his ring.

"Nerves," Collins said. "His words were 'you've done this before, he hasn't'."

"I haven't," Roger said hotly.

"Maybe not officially, but you see his point, don't you? You still tried once already… twice…" Collins said.

Roger nodded. "Yeah," he said. "He'll be fine, though. He'll do great. I can hear him rehearsing his proposal in his room every night before he goes to bed."

Collins smiled. "So, uh, you know, just don't bug him about it. Bugging him won't make it any easier for him to do," he said.

"OK, man, I won't," Roger said. "I don't want to mess things up for him. Things are so great for him right now. He truly deserves this the most."

"I agree, man," Collins said, smiling.

* * *

"Baby, what do you think about going back to work?" Melanie asked Roger, two weeks before Christmas.

"What?" Roger asked, caught off-guard. "Why would I go back to work? We're doing fine."

"I know, but still, don't you get a sense of… oh, I don't know… accomplishment in going to work all day and knowing you can come home having gotten things done and made money?" Melanie asked.

Roger raised his eyebrows at her. "You can't tell me you possibly like your job that much," he said.

"I do, actually, I love my job," Melanie said. "I've wanted to be a secretary and court reporter since I was a sophomore in high school."

"Well, OK, but Mel, I like being home when Madeline gets home from school," Roger said. "I like being able to spend as much time with you two as I can."

"Yeah, but Roger, she's in school all day, she isn't able to see you at all," Melanie said. "And I work, too, so it doesn't make any sense for you to be lazy around the loft all day. You should go back to work. You can make money, too, and spend as much time with us after school and in the evenings as you want."

Roger was still hesitant, but he saw Melanie's point. She was entirely correct. "I… I'll think about it, OK?" he asked her. "I mean, I see your point, I really do. I need to quit being a bum."

Melanie grinned. "Yep, even though I like your bum side," she said, grinning and kissing him.

"I'll start looking for a job after the holidays, OK?" Roger asked her, as she straddled his lap.

"OK, baby," Melanie said, smiling and kissing him and holding him close.

* * *

"Mark, can I ask you something?" Katie asked Mark, that same day.

"Sure, Katie, what's up?" Mark asked.

"Are you… well… are you ever going to consider going back to producing films for a living?" Katie asked. "I mean, you liked that a lot. It was your passion. You even do it now, unemployed."

Mark rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Katie, I quit _Buzzline_, remember?" he reminded her.

"Well, yeah, you did, but you were angry with everything that was going back in your life at the time," Katie reminded him back. "I mean, things were going bad with Maureen and Joanne and Roger, and Mimi and Angel was dying, and you were caught in the middle of it all, being the witness. Your life is going so well now. It makes sense that you would go back to work— even if it isn't for _Buzzline_— and get even more accomplishment out of life, you know?"

Mark shrugged. "I can see your point," he said. "But I just don't feel ready. I like my own personal projects. I can figure it out myself how to sell them to people or companies, can't I?" Katie nodded. "Plus, I want to spend all the time I can with you. I can't mess things up with you at all. I messed things up with Maureen when I got obsessed with my work in high school and look how that ended up. I got obsessed with my work back in 1989 and 1990 and look how _that _ended up. Two of my friends actually _died_ and I couldn't do anything to try to prevent that. I could have pitched in to help pay for medical bills more or something…"

Katie nodded. "Angel and Mimi dying was a terrible thing, Mark, I'm not saying it wasn't," she said. "But I just feel like you will feel better about yourself and your life if you started working again and were able to make money, rather than trying to sell your own personal projects. You can be inspired and do that in addition. And besides, I heard they have new management now. There was a story in the _Village Voice _about Alexi getting fired."

Mark looked at her suddenly.

"I didn't know," he said.

He never read the _Village Voice_, if he could help it, because that reminded him of Benny. But Katie didn't know Benny, and even if she did, knowing Benny wouldn't stop her from reading it.

"I'll think about it, OK? I'll think about it over the holidays and I'll start looking for job openings for a filmmaker after New Year's, if I feel ready or really need it— a job, I mean. And if I end up back at this new _Buzzline_, then… that's where I end up."

"Good," Katie said, smiling and kissing him.

* * *

The loft was filled with Christmas cheer in 1993, so much so that Roger and Mark could randomly be seen belting out Christmas carols at the top of their lungs, something Roger had vowed never to do again for the rest of his life after 1989, even being the singer he was.

"Now remember our plan, Maddy girl," Roger said to Madeline, looking down at his daughter, as they heard Melanie's car drive up and waited for her to come inside. "When Mommy gets home from work tonight, you're going to take this"— he handed her a small box— and give it to Mommy, saying it's a Christmas present a little early. Then she will open it, OK?"

"OK, Daddy," Madeline said, looking up at him. "Are you excited?"

"I sure am, kiddo, are you?" Roger asked her, hugging her.

"I am, Daddy," Madeline said, smiling at him.

Roger didn't tell Madeline how nervous he was about proposing to Melanie, especially after the fact that they had fought about it once. He forced himself not to think about it. He wanted this moment to be perfect between him, Melanie, and their daughter.

Roger heard the door opening and nodded at Madeline. "OK, go!" he said.

Roger smiled to loosen the knot of nervousness in his chest as he watched Madeline walk over to the door. It opened with a burst of swirling snow and Melanie walked in.

"Oh, hi, Maddy girl, Merry Christmas; just give me a second and I'll be inside," Melanie said, looking down at Madeline. "What do you have in your hand, Maddy?"

"Daddy said to ask you if you want one of your Christmas presents early," Madeline said, reciting what she and Roger had rehearsed.

"Daddy said what? Did he now?" Melanie asked her, sending Roger a curious look. "Well… it is the twenty-fourth, so… I suppose, sure, I'll take my Christmas present from Daddy a day early."

She took the small present from Madeline and opened it, revealing a small ring. She looked up at Roger, shocked, and her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh Roger, is this really what I think it is?" she asked him.

"It is, baby, so what do you say?" Roger asked. "Will you marry me?"

"Oh, Roger, of course I'll marry you," Melanie said, hurrying over and embracing him and kissing him deeply. "I love you, Roger, and Merry Christmas."

"I love you, too, Melanie Elizabeth Schwartz, and Merry Christmas to you, too," Roger said, smiling at her. "Thank you for saying yes."

Melanie smiled happily. Then she looked down at Madeline. "Maddy girl, did you know about this?" she asked her. Then she shook her head, rolled her eyes, and laughed. "Never mind, silly question. Of course you would know, you came up to me with the box. Looks like me and your daddy are getting married!"

"Yay, Mommy and Daddy are getting married!" Madeline cheered happily, running over to hug Roger and Melanie.

* * *

Katie inserted the key into Melanie's front door and opened it. Neither Melanie nor Madeline was home. Katie suspected they were both at Roger's upstairs or else out with him and she was not worried. She set down her purse on the kitchen table and went over to the phone and answering machine. She had gone to get groceries and was returning to put them away before she went to the Christmas Eve _Wicked _matinee. The light was flashing on the answering machine and she pressed Play to hear the messages. There was only one.

"Hi, Katie, it's Mark," Mark's voice said through the machine. "Listen, I know you have a performance this afternoon, but can you hang around for a while and meet me backstage? I have a surprise for you. I got a ticket to today's matinee so I could get in to see you. But I know it is Christmas and we need to get back to Roger and Melanie and everybody to hang out and celebrate, so I'll make it as fast as I can. Just meet me later, OK? I love you. Bye."

Katie was both puzzled and extremely curious. Mark was not normally so secretive. He was usually introverted, yes, but not secretive. Katie wasn't sure if she could make it through today's performance, knowing he had a surprise for her after the show, but she would do her best.

* * *

During the show that night, Katie could see Mark sitting in the first row of balcony seats, watching the show. It puzzled her why he wouldn't meet her gaze whenever he caught her looking at him.

During "Defying Gravity", as the guards were breaking down the door, Katie sent Mark a text message from her phone to his.

_Why so secretive? This is not like you, especially after what you told me on our tell-me-about-yourself date that one time. What's your surprise?_

Mark felt his phone vibrate and he knew he had a text message. Pulling his phone out, he looked at it, read it quickly, and messaged back,

_You of all people should know better than to bother the audience during a show, especially right now, during DG! Couldn't you have waited until intermission?_

_No, you should know better than to have your phone on at all during a performance! If I didn't love you so much, I might have the ushers make you turn it off... Sorry_, Katie replied. She knew Mark was annoyed. She knew she would be, if she was him in this situation. _But I'm really nervous, and yet, so excited about your surprise! Why can't you tell me what it is?_

_Because that's the point of a surprise; and don't you dare try and beg, Katherine Elizabeth Campbell. No way, absolutely not. I'm not telling you what the surprise is before you receive it and you can't make me. Just meet me in the front row of house seats after the show and you will get your surprise._

_Well, all right, but I have to do some things after the show first (check the dressing rooms; write a performance review; put props and costumes away…)_

_No worries. I'll see you after. Whenever you're ready, just come find me. Your surprise has to wait until the audience and everybody has gone home anyway._

_Oh, does it?_

_Yes, it does. See you after the show. You won't be able to find me at intermission. :P_

_Well, if you insist. Love you. TTYL. Xoxo!!!_

_Love you, too, TTYL._

Katie smiled excitedly and went back to what she was doing. Her excitement was mounting with every second that passed, leading up to Mark's surprise.

Mark watched Isabelle Sullivan, playing Elphaba, "defy gravity" and fly up away from the guards to escape their spears and pitchforks and, ultimately, her death. He shivered slightly, not out of cold, but because he knew that was where the surprise for the love of his life would happen in less than an hour.

* * *

Katie was at the front doors of the theatre, two hours later, about to close the theatre for the night, when Mark appeared by her side. Before she noticed he was there, he swept her up into his arms and kissed her deeply.

Katie gave him a perplexed look as he released her. "Wow," she said, "that was…"

"Heavenly?" Mark suggested breathlessly. He smiled. "I know."

"So where's my surprise?" Katie asked him.

Before Katie could react, Mark snuck by her and bolted down the center aisle. "Mark!" she hollered after him. "Mark, wait! What are you doing? I have to close the theatre!"

Katie could only stand there, half-amused, half-irritated, and watch as Mark ran down the aisle. She ran down the aisle after him when he leapt onto the stage.

"Mark!" she hollered. "What's going on? Do you mind telling me or am I just going to have to stand here?"

Then Mark did something totally unexpected. He jumped onto the flying machine and it snapped shut around him and suddenly started moving! Katie, who was in shock, didn't even pause to realize someone was offstage at the moment helping Mark "defy gravity" by operating the flying machine. All she could do was stand and stare. There was no way she could get up to the top of the flying machine and get him down herself, as much as she wanted to at the moment.

"Mark!" she yelled up at him. He was about twenty feet off the stage and Katie was afraid he would fall and hurt himself. "What the hell are you doing?"

Then Katie received the surprise of her life, as Mark called down, "I'm asking the love of my life to marry me!"

Katie was positively stunned. For a moment, she didn't know what to say. "What?" she called up at him. "What are you talking about?"

Now that the flying machine had stopped moving, everything was quieter and they were able to talk normally.

"I mean, I'm asking you, Katherine Elizabeth Campbell, if you will marry me," Mark said, looking down at her. He wiggled the ring he was holding and the light reflected off it and flashed down at Katie.

Katie was floored. "Um... well..." She stammered for a second, still completely shocked, before she called up at him, "Well, hell yeah, I will! Now can you come down, please, before you hurt yourself? Please come down. Plus, you need to kiss me, please."

Mark grinned and the flying machine lowered. Katie knew somebody was obviously offstage helping him out; she guessed it was her flyer, Sam Jacobs. But how he had found out about Mark's proposal, she had no idea. She didn't know herself how to work the flying machine, except in emergencies.

But at the moment, she didn't care. Mark had gotten down off the flying machine and was running toward her. Then he embraced her and kissed her full on the mouth like he never had before. It was passionate and fiery and full of emotion. After they parted, Katie laughed happily and hugged Mark, leaning her forehead against his.

The new couple looked around as they heard someone walk onto the stage. It was Sam.

"Thank you, Sam," Mark said, taking one hand down from around Katie to shake Sam's hand. "I couldn't have done it without you."

"It was my pleasure, Mark," Sam said, grinning at him.

Sam looked at the happy couple— Mark beaming and looking very content and Katie looking over-the-moon, ecstatic— and then Katie exclaimed happily, "Well, Sam, it looks like I'm getting married!"

Mark grinned, wiped the happy tears from Katie's eyes, kissed her deeply again, and they laughed happily together, hugging each other on the stage, never to let each other go.

This is the end of chapter 7. You guys can't possibly believe how excited I am to have this chapter finished how it is. I am so, so happy how it turned out, seriously. I don't think I've written anything as happy as this, better than this, I really don't. This, to me, feels like the best thing I've ever written. I know it's really, really long, but I started writing and I just couldn't stop.

I had been thinking and thinking about what to do for the engagements. I wanted to do something totally out of the ordinary that I hadn't done before. It couldn't be just simple proposing or anything I'd done before. Roger using Madeline to give the ring to Melanie like she did and Mark asking Katie to marry him from 20 feet up (or however high it is) in the _Wicked _flying machine popped into my mind and were just so perfect. I couldn't do anything else, you know? It was too important, too perfect. It worked out so well, I am so happy how it turned out. I hope you guys liked it, especially katetastic. This chapter is your surprise and dedicated to you and only you. Your input, advice, words, listening, and everything means so much to me. I could not have done this chapter so well without you. You are amazing, my best friend, my inspiration, and my muse. Thank you so much for helping me out, not only with this, but with life. I truly could not have done this amazing chapter without you. Thank you so, so much! I can't say that enough.

There is more where that came from! Wedding plans and more will ensue in the next few chapters. Oh, and once I get to writing the actual weddings, be prepared for a bit of huge drama in Katie's wedding (katetastic already knows about it, as we've been discussing it, but she's on a gag order, so don't bother her about it, LOL.) I will update as soon as I can, but no promises as to when that will happen.

As always, don't forget to review. I love feedback, so please don't neglect leaving me some. I reply to as many reviews as I possibly can because I love connecting with my readers.

Thanks so much for reading. I'll update again as soon as possible.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	8. Wedding Arrangements

Just to make sure you readers are clear, once Melanie and Katie start talking about wedding preparations in this chapter, it is January 1994, after the New Year's holiday, near to Madeline's eleventh birthday. Until that point, it is still Christmas Eve 1993, right after Katie accepted Mark's proposal. Just wanted you guys to be sure; I don't want any confused readers. Enjoy this chapter.

"Honey, we have to go," Katie said quietly, looking at Mark, her hands still placed gently on his face. It had been ten minutes and they still had not left the stage, let alone move from where they were both kneeling.

"Huh? Oh, right— the loft!" Mark said, coming back to Earth.

"Now he remembers!" Katie laughed. She looked at Sam as she and Mark stood up and she took Mark's hand. "Sam, could you—?"

"Call Todd and have him close up the theatre for you? Of course," Sam said. He smiled at her.

"I mean, if it's not too much trouble?" Katie asked.

"Of course it's not," Sam assured her. "Todd will get a kick out of it when I tell him why he got called in just for that. And I don't have anywhere else to go tonight anyway."

Katie nodded. "Well, OK," she said, "but you're entirely welcome to come celebrate with us, OK? It's Christmas. You shouldn't be alone tonight."

"Thanks, Katie," Sam said, hugging her. Sam was originally from Wisconsin, so with working in New York City, he was away from most of his friends and all his family. He didn't have anyone to celebrate the holiday or stay with, and Katie felt bad for him. "I'll definitely stop by."

"Great," Katie said, smiling at him as she walked away with Mark, "see you later, then."

"Bye, Katie, and congratulations," Sam said, smiling as he watched her leave. Then he went to go call in Todd to close the theatre.

* * *

"Hey, what took you guys so long?" Melanie asked, as Katie and Mark entered the loft, ten minutes later.

"Sorry, we couldn't get away until just now," Katie said, "or we would have been here a lot sooner."

"We didn't see you and yours and my place, so we called the Gershwin, but no one answered," Melanie said.

"The house closes right after the show starts," Katie said. "I had my cell phone, but I was busy and Mark was watching the show, so he didn't want to be bothered." Katie grinned, remembering her text-message conversation with Mark during "Defying Gravity."

"So we called the Life Café and asked if they had seen either of you, but they said they hadn't," Melanie said.

"We weren't there," Katie said.

"So then I started to get worried," Melanie said, giving her a worried look.

"Mel, pause for a second and smell the roses," Katie said, grinning at her best friend.

"What do you mean?" Melanie asked, brought to a halt.

"Well, if you'll stop to look around, you might notice something's changed," Katie said, wiggling her fingers of her left hand at Melanie.

"What?" Melanie said, and she looked down. "No way, you got engaged! When did that happen?"

"About an hour ago, actually," Katie said, grinning. "Mark went to the show and told me he had a surprise for me." Katie told Melanie about what had happened at the theatre. "So that's why we were late."

"Wow— um— wow," Melanie stammered.

"Is that all you can say?" Katie teased.

"I— it's just that— oh, I'm sorry— well, congratulations!" Melanie said, beaming at her best friend and hugging Katie.

"Thanks," Katie said, laughing at Melanie's reaction. She looked down at Madeline standing next to Melanie. "Hey, kiddo, how are you?"

"Hi, Katie," Madeline said, going over to hug Katie. "I'm good. Congratulations on getting married. So you got married, too?"

"Well, yes, I did, kiddo, I— wait, hang on. What are you talking about?" Katie asked, catching on. She looked down at her. Then she saw the ring on Melanie's finger. "What? No way! Mel, you _cannot _have gotten engaged on the same night as me?!"

Melanie laughed. "What a coincidence," she said. "I have to thank my little girl for the early Christmas present."

"What— oh!" Katie said, realizing what Melanie meant. She looked at Roger and grinned, impressed. "How very original, Roger."

Roger laughed. "Thanks, Katie," he said. "I enjoyed it."

"That's so adorable. Melanie, you have the best girl ever, I swear," Katie said, grinning at Melanie.

"Thanks, Katie," Melanie said, smiling at her. She hugged Katie. "I'm so happy for you."

"I'm super happy for you, too," Katie said, "totally stoked. So have you guys set a date or what?"

"No, but I don't have any preferences," Melanie said. "So whatever Roger wants is fine with me."

"What about on your birthday, Katie?" Mark asked her, looking down at Katie. "Would you like that, to get married on your birthday?"

"Oh," Katie said, the thought occurring to her, "um, no, not really. Sorry, Mark"— he looked slightly crestfallen that she hadn't said yes to his proposal— "but wouldn't it drive you nuts to have to remember both our anniversary and my birthday? I think it would drive me nuts."

Mark nodded. "That makes sense," he said. He pulled her into his arms. "We can think of another date."

"OK, Mark," Katie said, looking at him lovingly.

* * *

"No, Mom, under no circumstances will I wear high heels. You know I hate them with a passion," Melanie said, irritated, as she and her mother went over wedding preparations after the holidays were over, two weeks before Madeline's eleventh birthday.

"Why?" Mrs. Schwartz asked her, only about half as frustrated with her daughter as Melanie was with her.

"Because they are a male invention designed to make a woman's butt look bigger"— Melanie smiled, hearing Roger and Madeline both giggle behind her at this statement— "and to make it harder for them to run away."

When she finished this statement, both Roger and Madeline burst out laughing. Melanie grinned evilly. "But you're _not _planning on running away, are you, Melanie?" Mrs. Schwartz asked her seriously.

"No, Mom, I'm not," Melanie said, looking at her mother. "I am quite happy now."

Mrs. Schwartz nodded. "Good," she said. "So, your dress; I quite like this one." She pointed to one in a book.

"Mom, thanks very much, but I have a strict no-ruffles policy, sorry," Melanie said. She knew she was acting like a tamer version of Bridezilla, but she couldn't help it. She did have preferences she wanted followed, and she wanted the wedding to be perfect.

Mrs. Schwartz rolled her eyes. "All right, so… pick which one you like, then," she said, looking at her daughter.

"I like this one," Melanie said, pointing to a dress with medium-size straps. It was sparkly and had a cut down the leg from mid-thigh down.

"Oh, but the neck is cut much too low, dear," Mrs. Schwartz said.

"Good grief, Mom, I'm almost 30! I think I can have a little cleavage and skin showing if I want to!" Melanie burst out.

Roger, Katie, Collins, and Maureen roared with laughter. Collins gave her a high-five for her quick retort. Melanie grinned again, even though she was frustrated, and she felt bad that she had snapped at her mother, who was only trying to help.

"So… dress colors," Melanie said, becoming serious again. "What about cerulean blue or cherry blossom? I hate pink, but I can tolerate that… What about coral? Ugh, that's still a shade of pink. I really like this dark spring green, too. Oh, this deep fuchsia is beautiful, but no shade of purple is OK for a wedding… I like this maya blue, too…" She looked at Katie. "Have you decided yet?"

Katie nodded. "Midnight blue for you and my friend Sarah back home, who is also being a bridesmaid, in addition to Maureen and Joanne. I told the seamstress to just surprise me with my dress, as long as it didn't have sleeves," she said.

Melanie nodded. She suddenly looked very lost. "I like the idea of no sleeves, too," she said, "not quite as thick as tank. I really like the idea of periwinkle blue with coral. But I wish I was as… certain as you, as to what I wanted?"

"You'll think of it," Katie said, hugging her. "You've still got time. You haven't even set a date yet. Maybe if you set the date, you'll figure things out by working toward it. Nothing has to be decided overnight."

"Good point," Melanie said, nodding. She looked at Roger. "I would… like it to be in early to mid-May or early June… if that's OK?"

"Baby, that's totally fine," Roger said, smiling at her. "That way, it'll be warm enough outside and we hopefully won't get rained on."

Melanie smiled. "So… is May seventh OK with you?" she asked.

"May seventh would be wonderful, baby," Roger said, "especially since that's four months away. That way, if we work hard enough, everything will be ready. It can be done. If not, if all else fails, we can be married overnight by Joanne's dad."

Melanie laughed. Roger was right about that.

"Do you want the dresses to be form-fitting?" Katie asked Melanie.

"Yeah, I do," Melanie said, nodding. "Our choir dresses were like that in college and I loved that. It made us look like we'd lost weight before the concert." She smiled.

"OK, so form-fitting it is," Katie said. "And by the way, Mark and I have set our date for June second."

Melanie nodded. "But where would we do the wedding?" she asked, looking at Roger.

"Well, what about Saint Patrick's Cathedral?" Roger suggested.

"Roger, that would cost a fortune," Melanie said. "And besides, neither of us are Catholic."

Roger nodded. "You're right," he said. "What about Botanic Gardens? That would be beautiful."

Melanie smiled. She loved Roger's sensible, sensitive side.

"I like that idea a lot," she said. "It would definitely be beautiful in May."

Roger nodded. "Or, if you wanted, we could get married right here in the loft," he said.

"Are you kidding, Roger?" Melanie said, laughing. "This loft hasn't been clean in over 10 years. I'll bet you can't get it clean enough for a wedding in less than four months."

Roger grinned. "OK, so the loft idea is out," he said. "What about Central Park?"

"Ooh, I really like that," Melanie said, looking excited. "But how would we privatize that?"

"We wouldn't," Roger said, "but that would be part of the fun." He laughed. "You're forgetting that we will have a tent outside, though, so even if it rains, it won't be a problem."

Melanie chuckled. "I like it," she said. "I really like it a lot. We could have it be really simple, with just folding chairs for our friends and just a pastor. It would still be beautiful."

Roger nodded. "So Central Park, it is," he said. "We will just have to get permission from the city."

"OK, Roger, can you do that?" Melanie asked him.

"Sure, baby," Roger said, smiling at her. "I'll give him a call right now."

But before Roger could go over to the phone to call, Katie said, "Roger, do you think you could ask the city for Mark and me, too?"

Roger looked at her. "Sure, Katie, but can I ask why?" he asked, curious.

"Absolutely," Katie said. She looked up at Mark, who was holding her close. "I would like to get married in Tompkins Square Park."

Mark smiled. He loved the idea. "My fiancé is brilliant," he gushed, "absolutely brilliant." Then he kissed Katie.

"So I take it Mark likes that idea," Roger said, grinning and picking up the phone. "OK, so two outside, public weddings it is, coming right up."

Katie, Mark, and Melanie laughed. Melanie looked down at Madeline. "Maddy girl, do you like the idea of Mom getting married in Central Park?" she asked.

"Yes, Mom," Madeline said, smiling at her mother.

"This is so exciting," Katie said, grinning. She fidgeted in Mark's arms and looked up at him. "Can we go for a walk?" she asked. "I'm feeling really restless and excited at the moment."

"Sure, baby, but we have to be back to open presents," Mark reminded her, as he gave her another kiss.

"Oh, we will definitely be back in time for present-opening," Katie said. "There is no getting around that."

"OK, Ms. C, let's go," Mark said formally.

Katie laughed, linked her arm in his, and left, grinning the entire time, to go walking with him.

Melanie had a look of happy contentment on her face, as she watched Katie and Mark leave. "Baby, you OK?" Roger asked her, pulling her close to him.

"Oh yeah, absolutely," Melanie said. "I am so happy right now, you cannot imagine. I mean, I should be stressed over the wedding preparations, but it's all seeming simpler by the minute, especially with Katie's amazing, creative ideas, and I'm happy and not stressed. I'm so happy for Katie and Mark. Mark finally found the girl of his dreams. And I'm so happy for me, if I may say so. I have the best daughter in the _world_"— Madeline came over and hugged her mother and father— "and I have the best fiancé in the _world_. I have never been happier."

Roger smiled and kissed her on the top of her head. "I'm so glad," he said. "I have never been happier, either."

"Good," Melanie said, smiling and kissing him.

"Ew, Mom," Madeline said, grimacing at her.

"Oh yeah, you don't like it when Mom and Dad kiss, do you, kiddo?" Melanie asked, looking down at her and grinning. Madeline didn't say anything. "Well, what if we did this, would you like it then?"

And without saying a word, both Melanie and Roger picked up Madeline as one, squished her in between them, and kissed her each on the cheek. Madeline squealed and laughed. Collins, Maureen, and Joanne laughed, too.

This is the end of chapter 8. Not quite as long as chapters 6 and 7 were. I'm dedicating this chapter again to katetastic. I wanted to end it on a happy note because of what is going to happen in chapter 9, which is almost completely finished and ready to post.

The next chapter will be Melanie and Roger's official wedding and Mark and Katie's wedding, among other things. Chapter 9 will be posted as soon as possible. I am currently co-writing it with my beta, katetastic, and as soon as she finishes putting in her two cents and it is modified and finalized, it will be posted. I won't give an estimate as to when; I don't like doing that, because I almost never post when I say I'm going to, something always happens and I have to postpone. I'm going to update as soon as I can, though. Please continue to be patient with me while you wait for updates. Thanks so much to those who have been patient. I really appreciate it.

As always, don't forget to review. I love feedback.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	9. Two Weddings and a Funeral

This is a long, emotional chapter. This is your warning.

Collins looked at Melanie as he heard her let out a shaky breath next to him. They were in the tent quarters, about to join the rest of their party outside for the wedding to begin. Melanie was less than two minutes away from marrying Roger. "Mel, are you OK?" he asked.

"Oh... yeah, I'm all right, Collins," Melanie said, coming out of her reverie. "I'm just nervous. I mean, I'm thinking about what happened... or didn't happen... before."

"Don't think about that now," Collins said, shaking his head and grasping her upper arms gently in his strong hands. "Think about the now. You're having a small, public, but amazingly fun wedding. You're about to marry the man of your dreams. You have an amazing daughter and four amazing best friends, if I may include myself, along with Katie, Maureen, and Mark."

"Of course you can, Collins," Melanie said quietly, tears sparkling in her eyes. "You're like a big brother to me."

Collins smiled and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you, Baby girl," he said. "And we're all healthy. Roger, me, you, your little girl, Mark, Katie. Everybody's healthy. That's all Roger and I ever want is for us to be healthy, for the sake of you and everybody else, you know?"

Melanie nodded. "How's Roger?" she asked.

"Nervous as all hell, but fine; you know him," Collins said gently, smiling. "Mark talked him down."

She looked at the tent entrance as the music of the wedding march began, then she looked back at Collins. "I'm ready, Collins."

"Me too, Baby girl, this tux itches and it's killing me," Collins said, grinning at her.

Melanie laughed and walked down the aisle with Collins, who was stepping in for her father. Melanie saw Roger waiting for her at the altar and all her worries, second thoughts, and insecurities vanished. She only saw him. Melanie couldn't take her eyes off Roger as she walked up to him. Only when he said something did she come to Earth.

"Are you ready?" he asked her.

"Yes," Melanie said quietly.

The ceremony was beautiful. Katie was Melanie's Maid of Honor and Maureen and Joanne were bridesmaids. Mark was Roger's Best Man and Sam, Katie's flyer in Wicked, and Roger's band mates, Will, Declan, and Johnny were groomsmen. Madeline was performing double duty as both the flower girl and ring bearer, as they had no boys to perform the duty. Tourists from all around paused for a moment whenever they walked past to take in a glimpse of the wedding. Melanie and Roger exchanged their vows and their rings.

"And now, by the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife," the pastor said. He looked at Roger. "You may kiss the bride."

The Bohemians weren't the only ones who clapped as Roger swung Melanie around and leaned her down and kissed her tenderly. All the surrounding tourists were clapping too. Melanie beamed as she looked at her friends and family, her heart full to bursting with happiness, finally officially Mrs. Davis.

* * *

June twelfth approached rapidly for Katie. Usually, summer dragged by for her, first when she was younger with school letting out, hanging out with friends, and lots of sleeping in and being bored. Then, as she got older, working full- to overtime in the summer and making money and gaining job experience.

But this summer in particular was starting out full-speed, already going 100 miles an hour, because she was soon going to marry the man of her dreams.

Everything was set to go. The dresses and tuxes had come in. The tent was ready to be assembled that morning in Tompkins Square Park, where the wedding party would dress (the bride had a adjoining quarters all to herself; the actual ceremony was being held outside, in the open.) A few of Mrs. Schwartz's friends had come from Scarsdale to help out, and Madeline was again fulfilling her double duty as flower girl and ring bearer. Katie's best high school friend, Sarah, was also flying in from Louisville to attend the wedding as bridesmaid, in addition to Maureen and Joanne.

Katie awoke early on the morning of June 12. Everyone had gone to bed early the night before, so she felt very refreshed and ready to seize the day. She wasn't nervous at all. She realized this probably meant that she truly did love Mark and that they were meant to be together forever.

Unable to stay still another moment, she crept slowly out of bed and dressed in silence, careful not to wake Mark. She left him a note on her pillow, telling him she had gone for a walk and would meet him and the others at 11 a.m. to dress for the wedding, which would start at 1.

_Don't worry about me. I'm just getting some fresh air and breakfast. I will be seeing you later. After all, it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding!_

_XO Katie_

Katie walked in the sunshine down to the Life Café and treated herself to breakfast. The weather was perfect for her wedding day. She ate while talking to the staff, telling them about her wedding that afternoon. They were all completely excited for her and promised to send both her and Melanie a wedding gift from all of them as soon as possible.

As she left the café and walked across the street to Tompkins Square Park, toward the wedding area, she couldn't think of any way things could possibly go wrong, except perhaps Mark stumbling through his vows. Mr. and Mrs. Cohen and Cindy were attending the wedding, as much as Mark protested. Katie had persuaded Mark to invite them, even if they greatly annoyed him, because they were family after all. The only reason her parents weren't attending was because her father had come down recently with the flu and her mother had wanted to stay behind in Louisville to care for him. Mark had surrendered in the end.

But Katie didn't mind in the slightest, especially when, as she was being helped into her dress by Mrs. Schwartz, the rest of the party dressing in the adjoining part of the tent, her mother called her cell phone. Katie guessed it was to give her some last-minute good wishes.

"Hi, Momma, how are you?" Katie asked. Then she realized she heard sobbing on the other end of the call. "Momma, why are you crying?" Katie threw a swift, worried look at Collins, who watched her warily. "Momma… Momma, you gotta calm down, I can't understand you, you're crying so hard… Momma, you gotta talk slower… What? It's Dad? What about him? He what? Oh, my God! I—"

Katie stopped talking completely, tears silently streaming down her face, trying to keep it together until she got off the phone with her mother. Collins put an arm around her and looked at her, extremely alarmed, but he said nothing. "Well, I… I'll s-see if I can g-go t-through with the w-wedding. I d-don't know if I c-can focus now. N-no, of course I'm not blaming you, w-why would I blame y-you? This wasn't your fault. I… Yes, of course I'll be home as s-soon as I c-can… I'll hop a R-Red Eye or something. I'll b-be home as soon as I c-can. Mom, I love you, so, so much… Bye."

Katie broke down into Collins' chest the moment she hung up the phone. Collins, while extremely alarmed, held her tightly while she sobbed. Only when she was able to take a deep breath and stop crying long enough to look at him, did he say anything.

"Katie, what happened?"

"It's my dad," Katie stammered. "That was my m-mom. She s-said he had a heart attack a couple hours ago. She called 911, but the paramedics were unable to revive him. They said he died instantly. He's already been taken to the morgue."

Collins was stunned. He didn't know what to say. There was nothing he could say that would possibly calm Katie down in this situation. What he did know was Katie needed Mark more than anything at this very moment, and they needed to decide whether to postpone the wedding or not.

"Stay here," he said to Katie. Then he went out of the tent and got Mark, Roger, Melanie, and Maureen.

"Oh, my God, Katie," Mark breathed, rushing over to her and holding her tightly as she cried. Melanie, Roger, and Maureen also held her tightly, trying to console her, even though none of them knew what to say.

It was a few minutes before Katie regained her composure. As she lifted her head from Mark's chest, he did not let her go.

"What do you want to do?" he asked, looking her straight in the eye. He looked extremely shaken. He _was _shaking. He had never had to deal with a situation like this ever before in his life. "We'll do whatever you want— stop the wedding and postpone, leave right now for La Guardia and fly an emergency flight down there, go through with the wedding, but postpone the honeymoon to fly back to Louisville for the funeral… Anything you want to do, I'll do it. Just say it. Any way I can help, I don't care, tell me what to do."

Katie swallowed, giving herself a second to think. "I... I think I want to go through with the wedding," she said.

"Are you sure?" Mark asked, looking down at her with his piercing blue eyes.

"Yes," Katie said. "I love you and I want to marry you and make this real. But then, I need to get home as soon as possible to be there for my mom and help out with f-funeral arrangements and stuff."

"OK," Mark said gently, "so we'll just postpone the honeymoon, is that OK?"

Katie nodded. Then she looked up at him, still teary-eyed. Her makeup was messed up from crying, but she didn't care. They had taken professional wedding pictures the day before, so any pictures taken today would be candid and it wouldn't matter how bad she looked. "You'd better get out there; it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, you know," she said quietly.

Mark chuckled and smiled sympathetically at her, wishing he could take her pain away, then went back out of the tent. Maureen, looking very lost and confused, followed him. Roger and Melanie finally let go of Katie, Melanie last, and walked to the tent entrance.

"It'll be OK, Katie," Melanie said, tears cascading silently down her cheeks. "We'll get through this somehow, I promise." Her voice was shaking.

Katie nodded and Melanie left the tent to go take her place as Maid of Honor. She was incredibly confused. She knew she should feel incredibly happy and be celebrating about her wedding, but at this very moment, all she wanted to do was run away and curl up in a ball and cry and be alone.

* * *

Katie didn't know how she had gotten through the ceremony in one piece. During the exchange of vows, she had hardly been able to string her sentences together. But she got through it and Collins made the grave announcement for her right after the ceremony ended.

"Yeah, absolutely, Katie, Mark, me, Mel, Collins, and Katie's friend, Sarah," Roger spoke into his cell phone after the ceremony— to whom Melanie didn't know. He paused, listening to whoever he was speaking to. "No, Maureen and Joanne agreed to stay behind to look after Madeline. She's not old enough to fly down to Kentucky yet, according to Melanie, even though the kid was raised in New York City. Don't ask me, that's just how Melanie is sometimes… So how much will it cost? Forty-five hundred dollars? We're fucked."

Melanie elbowed Roger hard in the stomach. Madeline was within earshot, hugging Katie as Katie stroked her silky hair gently. "Who the _hell_ could you _possibly _be talking to on the phone right now?!" Melanie demanded through gritted teeth.

But Roger ignored her, holding up a hand for silence.

"What? Oh, my God, are you serious? Oh, my God, I love you, seriously— no, I'm kidding, Mel, baby," he added, grinning sheepishly at Melanie, who was looking angry— "but oh, my God, that's so amazing. I'm going to go tell Katie the good news right now. Thank you so, so much."

Roger flipped his cell phone shut and looked at Melanie. "That was Alison," he said, before she could begin to rage at him. "You're not going to believe what she just said."

"What?" Melanie asked him.

Roger dragged her over to where Katie and Mark were standing. "Katie, Mark, I just got off the phone with Alison," he said, explaining to the group in general. "She said that, under the circumstances, she's going to pay for you two, me, Melanie, Collins, and Sarah to fly Red-Eye down to Louisville to be there for Katie's mom, to help with funeral arrangements, and be at the funeral."

Melanie's mouth fell open. "Oh, my God, Roger!" she shrieked, jumping into his arms, curling her legs around his waist, and kissing him hard, all dignity and onlookers temporarily forgotten. "That's amazing!"

"Really, Roger, I don't know how to thank you," Katie said, hugging him. She looked extremely relieved.

Roger smiled. "It was my— our— pleasure," he said, looking down at her. "But don't thank us yet. Let's just get packed and ready to get down there. Our flight leaves at 10 tonight. Let's go home and get packed and ready to go, so we don't miss it."

"OK," Katie said, nodding and holding Mark ever closer.

* * *

Belle Campbell, Katie's mother, met them at the airport at 2 a.m. when their plane landed. Katie and her mother embraced wordlessly and cried for a few minutes, before releasing each other, taking a deep breath, and smiling at each other, both trying to stay strong for the other.

"Come on," Mrs. Campbell said, "let's get y'all settled in, huh?"

"Oh, Momma… we can't all stay at your place," Katie said. "There isn't enough room. Alison booked hotels for us. We're all at the Hampton Inn right by the house. It's OK, you don't have to… You've got enough going on as it is."

Mrs. Campbell nodded. "Well, all right, I won't disagree there," she said. "You guys should at least go get some sleep, all right? It will be a long couple of days."

Katie nodded, turned and looked at the others, and they made to leave.

"And congratulations, sweetie, really, I am so proud of you and happy for you," Mrs. Campbell said, hugging her daughter.

"Thanks, Momma," Katie said. "I only wish Daddy were here to see me, too."

Mrs. Campbell nodded silently.

* * *

Katie woke up at Noon the next day. She felt terrible for not already being at her mom's house helping with everything. She sighed, and tried to slide out of bed without Mark noticing. She turned the shower water on full blast. She let her hair down out of the sloppy ponytail she put it up in for sleeping, and slowly undressed.

She let the shower's hot stream work out the knots that had developed during the last twenty-four hours. Mark woke up and heard the shower running. He laid on the bed, waiting for Katie to finish up her shower. He knew she needed time to get ready to work on the plans for her father's funeral. He heard the shower shut off. He wanted to talk to her about she was feeling before she went to the house she grew up in. He knew she was going to feel pressure to be OK, to make sure she was there for her mother; he wanted to give her a chance to let go of all the pretensions and just blow off some steam.

He heard her sobbing in the bathroom and then decided enough was enough, and walked into the small hotel bathroom. He found her wrapped up in the fluffy white towel provided by the front desk. He pulled her into his arms and held her as she cried. They sat in the floor of the bathroom for what seemed like hours, but in reality was about forty-five minutes.

Katie finally calmed down, and crawled out of Mark's embrace. He stood up first and offered his hand to help Katie up. She grabbed his hand and shakily stood up.

"You want to talk about it, honey?" Mark asked, his blue eyes staring into hers. Katie shook her head. "Are you sure?"

"Mark, I know you are trying to help and it means more to me than you can ever imagine, but right now, I just don't think I can handle talking any more about it. My dad is dead. I wasn't there. Dammit, I wasn't there. Mark, if I had been there, I could have done something to stop it; somehow, I could have fixed this." Katie said, fresh tears streaming down her face.

Mark shook his head vehemently, "Sweetheart, there was nothing anyone could do. He died instantly." He pulled her into another tight embrace. They both stood there for a long moment, mentally preparing for the long day of decisions they would have to make.

* * *

"So, this is the mahogany casket, one of our most popular sellers. This one is a beautiful oak…" The funeral director droned on, and Katie was having a hard time focusing. This man was talking like it was easy just to pick everything out. She knew he was paid to make it sound easy and simple, but it made no difference to her. Her father was _dead_, for God's sake. It was irrelevant what color the lining was, he was dead.

She, her mother, and Mark went throughout the day picking out flowers (lilies), what color lining the coffin would have (royal blue, his favorite), and what he was going to wear.

Katie went back to the house with her mother, to cook her dinner, and make sure her mother ate. The others met them there, just to all be together and eat.

Katie walked in the front door and straight to the kitchen. She was looking through the cabinets, searching for all the ingredients for tuna patties, her favorite food. She quickly located the flour, oil, and four cans of tuna she needed for the tuna patties, the potatoes and green beans. She walked to fridge looking for the eggs needed to make the patties, and froze.

Everyone waited a moment until Collins spoke. "Baby girl, what's wrong?"

"Dammit, there are no fucking eggs. How am I supposed to make dinner if I don't have any eggs?"

Sarah piped up, "Katie, I'll go get the eggs. I'll run to the Wal-Mart right up the street."

Katie nodded mutely and kept walking around the kitchen, pulling things out of the fridge. She went to work on cooking the green beans and the mashed potatoes. She worked in silence for a moment until she looked up. Mark and Collins were watching her warily, and Melanie and Roger were having a discussion with their eyes. She shook her head, as if to clear it.

"Sorry, I forgot my manners. To your left is the family room, where y'all can watch TV, and to your right is the living room, which is only used for holidays, or family functions, or when company is over."

The group, recognizing the dismissal, headed for family room while Katie finished preparing dinner.

* * *

At the funeral three days later, Katie's brain felt numb. She didn't know what to think. She didn't want to feel anything at the moment. She didn't want to be sad, because if she wasn't sad, if she was good and happy and alive, it was almost like her dad wasn't gone. She listened to the words of the priest, in a daze. Despite not wanting to, she felt angry and sad. Angry at God, for taking her father away from her so soon, in such a harsh, quick way; sad, because she missed him so much already, and he had only been gone from her life a few days. She didn't say anything because she was afraid, if she opened her mouth, she would lose control.

"Although we may not think it is fair, we must take comfort in knowing Bennett is now in Heaven," the priest said.

Katie, Melanie, and Sarah were hugging each other, crying. Mark, while no tears shone on his face, looked very grave and lost and confused. He had tried to comfort Katie, but at the moment, she was only allowing Melanie and Sarah to console her. With shaking hands, he gingerly brought his camera up to his eye. He filmed a little, although his heart was not in it at all, and less than a minute later, he put it away, feeling disgusted with himself for filming the event and overwhelmingly sad for Katie. He wanted only to take all her pain away, but he knew he couldn't, and this tortured him.

Collins had his arms around Mrs. Campbell, who was sobbing and crying. Roger had isolated himself from everyone, his arms wrapped around himself. He wouldn't connect with anyone. He had tears on his face and was stone-faced. He looked both angry and overcome with sadness.

When the priest was finished, he told everyone they were welcome to come to the wake at Mrs. Campbell's afterward.

After the funeral was over, Collins went over to Katie. Standing beside her was a guy Collins didn't know. "I'm so sorry, Baby girl," he said to her.

Katie looked up at him and nodded. She accepted his gentle hug.

"If there's anything I can do for you," he said to her, "let me know, all right? I'm here for you anytime, really."

"Thank you, Collins, I appreciate it, I really do," Katie said, wiping her eyes. She looked at the man next to her. "Collins, this is Sam, my flyer in Wicked. I don't know if you've met him? Sam, this is my friend, Tom Collins, who prefers his surname only."

"No, I haven't met Sam," Collins said, shaking Sam's hand. Collins' heart skipped a beat when Sam smiled at him and he felt a small jolt when Sam shook his hand, although that could have just been a shock from the tuxes. Collins didn't think so, however.

"It's very nice to meet you, Collins," Sam said, smiling. Collins' heart skipped another beat.

"It's very nice to meet you, too, Sam," Collins said, smiling back at him. Sam's heart skipped a beat, too. Katie smiled to herself at her accomplishment. She knew Sam and Collins would probably get along fine.

As everyone dispersed, Katie walked over to her father's marked grave and traced the engraved words on his tombstone:

_Bennett Campbell  
1958-1994  
Dedicated father and husband  
Forever In Our Hearts_

Mark held Katie silently, watching her as she stared silently at the grave. After a few minutes, a hard, angry look on her face, she turned away from the grave and walked back to the car with Mark, Melanie and Roger by her side.

* * *

Roger looked down at Melanie, as they lay together in their hotel bed, later that night. "Mel, are you OK?" he asked.

Melanie shook her head. She looked extremely tired and stressed out. "No. I'm really worried about Katie," she said. "Did you see her at the funeral? She looked so angry and sad. She's never like that. I'm worried she is gonna crack or something. She's having such a hard time right now. We all want to help her and take away her pain, but sometimes she won't accept even our help."

Roger nodded. "But all we can do is just be strong for her," he said. Melanie nodded, her eyes closed. She blinked rapidly and Roger saw traces of tears stream down her face. "Melanie…" he said soothingly, holding her close. Melanie couldn't hold it in any longer and she cried in Roger's arms for Katie.

"It is times like this when I really miss Brian," Melanie sobbed. "I mean, when he was still alive, everything was OK for all of us. Things fell apart after he died, and then got put back together again, but now it feels like things are falling apart again. It always seems to get really, really good and then come crashing down on us. Is our whole life going to be like this? Did we do something wrong to deserve all this?"

"It'll get better, Mel," Roger said, kissing the top of her head. "Maybe it won't seem like it right now, but it will. If it didn't always, I probably would be six feet under from a heroin overdose right now."

"Oh, Roger, please don't say that, not right now," Melanie cried, tearing away from him and getting out of bed. But as she stood, she put a hand to her head and sat down again. "Or maybe I won't."

"Are you OK?" Roger asked her, concerned. He resumed holding her.

"I don't feel good," Melanie said weakly. "I think I'm overtired and way too stressed. Can we just go to sleep, please?"

"Sure, baby," Roger said, leaning over and kissing her cheek. "Goodnight. Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams, Roger," Melanie said, and she fell asleep in his arms.

* * *

The next morning, Melanie awoke late, at almost 11. She could hear Roger snoring softly next to her. Melanie felt exhausted. She had not slept well the night before. The funeral and a distraught Katie had woven in and out of her dreams, as well as a crying Madeline and a dying Collins, hooked up to all sorts of machines with a tube down his throat, Sam lying with him in the hospital bed. Though she knew Madeline was happy and healthy at home and Collins was alive and healthy and with Sam in the next room, she had still woken with a start and it had taken a few minutes for her racing heart and breathing to get back to normal and for her to fall asleep again.

Melanie wished Katie's father dying had never happened. But she couldn't have done anything to prevent it. She wasn't God.

Melanie lay there on her side, her hand tucked up against her ear underneath her pillow, listening for a few minutes to the birds chirping happily outside. The birds were celebrating new life this June, while she and everyone else she loved and cared about was experiencing death. The birds did not have feelings, nor could they reason, so they would never experience grieving over the loss of a loved one. Or maybe they did and she just never could tell, for they always sang happily in the mornings.

Melanie slowly climbed out of bed and changed out of her pajamas and into her bathrobe. She went out of the room to the balcony outside, careful to shut the double doors quickly, before the breeze could disturb Roger. She stood on the balcony for a long time, just staring into space and letting her mind wander and her thoughts mesh.

The truth was the sudden death of Katie's father had thrown into sharp relief that which she must inevitably face in the future: Roger's death. When, she did not know, although Melanie guessed, if she did know, she would spend her life dreading it, waiting for it to happen. Roger had HIV and there was nothing she could do to cure it or prevent him dying. Taking AZT only prolonged the inevitable for him. Melanie knew this and she knew Roger knew this, but she didn't dare ever bring it up to him, because she knew doing so would cause him to become guilty about his decision to get into drugs and contract HIV in the first place, and he would get very upset. That was the last thing she wanted to happen right now.

Melanie didn't hear Roger come out to the balcony.

"Hey, baby, are you OK?" he asked her.

Melanie looked half over her shoulder at him. She didn't want him to see she was upset. First, he put a hand on her shoulder, then he pulled her close to him.

"Yes, I'm all right," Melanie said automatically. Then she changed her mind. "No, I… I'm not OK. I— I'm scared, Roger."

"Scared?" Roger asked, looking confused.

"I— I'm scared of my loved ones dying," Melanie admitted. "That is my biggest rational fear. You, Collins, Katie, Maureen, Mark... I'm scared you're all going to die before me and I'll have to watch all of you die, and that terrifies me. I mean, you've seen how Katie's been lately. She's totally different, cold and hard and numb and upset. That's not the real her and this new Katie scares me. I am so scared I will not be able to handle it if you all die before me."

"Oh, Mel..." Roger said, looking down at her. He leaned down to kiss her.

He was taken aback when she pulled away sharply.

"No, Roger, please don't," she pleaded with him, "not right this second. You will just make me forget what I need to say, and I need to say it. I can't keep ignoring this. It's making me nuts, pretending everything's OK when it's not. I keep telling myself not to bring this up, because I don't want you to feel guilty in the slightest or get you upset, but I think we have got to quit ignoring it and pretending everything's normal, when for us, every-day life will never be normal and it's not OK."

Roger nodded and held Melanie close, although he respected her wishes and did not kiss her, as much as he wanted to. He wanted to kiss all her pain away. "Let it out, Mel," he said. "I don't feel guilty in the least, at least not right now. I want to help you. I want to protect you. But if protecting you by ignoring this and… not acknowledging its true presence, like you say, is making you nuts, then… I don't know. Tell me what you want to say. But I have to ask, what would you rather do? Mope around and whine and complain and live life in regret and fear, like Mimi taught us not to do? That will destroy you."

"I know, Roger, but the whole 'forget regret' and 'no day but today' life is just so hard sometimes. It feels unrealistic and superficial because it's so hard sometimes, you know?" Melanie asked him.

Roger nodded. He knew how she felt. "I think we just need to go home," he said. "We need to resume normal life. I know you're worried about how Maddy is doing, because I am, too. I said I would look for a job, but I've been neglecting that. I'm sorry. I know it is way too hard on you to be the sole income of our family. You'll feel better when you're home again, so let's go, OK?"

"Right now, I don't really feel like I have a home, Roger," Melanie said, placing her head on his chest.

"Melanie, don't say that. How can you say that? Baby, if I may say so, I think I know something that might make you feel better," Roger said, looking down at her. "But you're having a really hard time right now, and I don't want to pressure you."

"Baby, if you're asking me whether or not I want to be with you, of course I do," Melanie said, looking up at him. "Between Madeline and Katie's dad dying, we haven't had any chance to be alone, except on our wedding night. I want to be with you for as long as I can. That's all I ask for."

"Are you sure you want to, here, now?" Roger asked.

"Why not here? Why not now?" Melanie asked him. "We're going home tomorrow and we will have to find time with our eleven-year-old girl around. That might be nearly impossible. Now come on, before I change my mind or start to feel bad about asking to do this the morning after Mr. Campbell's funeral. If we do it now, it will convince me that it's not all bad and that life does go on."

Melanie grabbed him by his shirt collar and dragged him, laughing, over to their bed. Roger lifted her gently onto the bed and they playfully removed each others' clothes. Then they made love for real for the first time in eleven years. Roger supported most of his weight on his elbows and he was extra careful not to hurt Melanie. They had not been together in a long time and to hurt or traumatize her was the last thing he wanted to happen.

When they were finished, they lay in the bed together, holding each other, both very tired, stressed, and confused, and at the same time, very much in love. Melanie only then realized how much her rant had exhausted her.

"I love you, Roger Jay Davis," Melanie whispered.

"I love you, too, Melanie Elizabeth Davis," Roger said, kissing her forehead and snuggling up to her, as they both fell asleep again.

This is the end of chapter 9. I know it's taken a while to update, but it had been very important that my beta, katetastic and I, kept corresponding frequently and trading documents throughout writing this. As it was her father who died in this chapter, it was important that she saw what I had in the works and worked with that, adding in her own stuff as well. The grieving scene between Mark and Katie is hers, as well as the funeral preparations (I left that to her, as I was not confident in my ability to write it.) I made sure everything involving her was OK by her and accurate. Co-writing it with her helped a lot.

Also, just so you know, part of the reason these chapters might be taking longer than normal to update is I always hand-write my chapters first, because I'm not always nearby to a computer when I get inspired or write something down (trust me, it's rather inconvenient if I'm not, so I always try to have a notebook handy; and if I don't, I usually freak for a while, then get over it, then write or type as soon as I can, because ideas usually don't claw their way out of my mind again.) It obviously takes time to type up what I've written, especially in the case when I write a lot really fast and can't read my own writing, or I just don't have computer access, so I'm trying my best to update quickly for you guys. Thanks for being patient with me while I juggle college, life in general, and writing this for you guys. I'm really enjoying it, especially with what I have planned in the works.

I know this chapter is really long (15 pages according to my Microsoft Word.) I hope you guys enjoyed it. I have no idea how long this story is going to end up being or how it's going to end. We'll just see how many chapters I end up posting and what comes of it. I've been seriously neglecting my Due South WIP in favor of this story and what I want to happen with this (compared to this story, which is now 9 chapters, and will be more, my Due South fan fiction is 3; see? LOL, it's quite sad actually. But oh well, I only have two readers so far anyway, and this is more important.

As always, don't forget to review. I love feedback and I reply to practically every review I receive.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	10. Damsel in Distress

For previous lyrics to "Light In Your Eyes", the song by Blessid Union of Souls, from which the parent story's title is taken, please refer back to the parent story, "Light In Your Eyes", chapter 11, "Light In Your Eyes". Otherwise, you may be confused as to why I only put down part of the lyrics. The reason for this is, Roger had already written the lyrics and melody to the rest of the song previously, 11 years ago, when Melanie originally left Scarsdale to go to New York City. I'm putting down the new lyrics now (really, the rest of the real song), since he had not finished the song after she left, until recently in this story. Just wanted to make sure you readers are clear on that. Here is chapter 10 (much happier, I promise.)

Oh, and just in case, I don't own Hercules... you'll see, hehe.

_Four weeks later..._

"Baby, are you OK?" Roger asked, knocking on the loft bathroom door, when he awoke one morning to Melanie out of bed and throwing up in the bathroom.

"Don't come in, Roger," Melanie said through the door.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Roger asked.

"I'm puking, what does it sound like?" Melanie snapped.

"Mel..." Roger said, worried and confused.

"Roger, I'm fine," Melanie assured him. "I've had the flu and stuff before."

"You sound like a damsel in distress, though," Roger said nervously.

"I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle this," she said loftily.

This sentence was followed by more retching. Then it stopped and the door opened. Roger looked at Melanie, worried. She was pale and clammy.

"Baby, what's going on?" he asked.

"I'm going to Mo and Jo's for a while," Melanie said. "A couple days, that's all." She passed him and went downstairs to her flat. Without wasting a breath, she began to pack a suitcase.

"Why are you going to Mo and Jo's?" Roger asked, confused. "Was it something I did?"

"No, Roger, of course not," Melanie said. "It's just that, if this is something contagious, or I am sick, I don't want you catching it, sweetie, that's all."

"Baby, let me do that," Roger said, taking the socks from her and placing them into the suitcase. He even folded them.

Melanie raised her eyebrows in surprise that he was doing so. But she wasn't going to protest. She felt extremely tired and somewhat nauseous and really only wanted to sleep at the moment, not pack or go somewhere. "Baby, don't worry about me, OK?" she said. "I'll be fine."

"I know you will," Roger said, kissing her forehead. "But I'm still worried. You're like, never sick. Call me every night, OK? I don't care if it is three a.m. before you get a chance, call me."

"All right," Melanie said.

"And if you don't, you know I will ask Maureen to," Roger said firmly.

Melanie laughed. "_All right_," she said, convinced. "Don't forget to pick Madeline up from softball, OK? I don't want her to even think about walking home."

"I will, baby," Roger said. He finished packing the suitcase with the things Melanie said she needed, then followed Melanie out of the apartment and down to where Joanne sat, waiting, in her car. "I love you, Melanie."

"I love you, too, Roger," Melanie said, kissing him as she got into the car. Roger threw her suitcase into Joanne's back seat and returned to give her a hug through the open window. "See you in a few days."

"Bye, Melanie," Roger said, and he watched as they drove off after she waved goodbye to him.

* * *

"Madeline, sweetie, don't worry about Mom. I'll be fine in a few days. I just don't want you or Dad catching whatever I have, OK?" Melanie explained over the phone to Madeline that night. "I'm fine, really. I'll be home in a few days. Until then, make sure you do your homework, _get to bed on time_, and make sure Dad doesn't eat the cookies I left in the jar."

Madeline laughed. "OK, Momma," she said. "I miss you already."

"I miss you, too, sweetie," Melanie said. "I'll see you in a few days. I love you."

"I love you, too, Mom," Madeline said, and then she gave the phone back to Roger.

"Mel," he said quietly, because Madeline was still within earshot, "do you know what I just thought of? We haven't told Madeline about my—"

"— your HIV," Melanie said grimly. "Yeah, I know." She sighed.

"I mean, it's not like we've been lying to her," Roger said to her. "It's just… never come up in conversation."

"Yeah, so when should we tell her?" Melanie asked him.

"How about we tell her when you come home this weekend?" Roger suggested. "She's confused why you're gone just because you're sick. It's not normal to, uh, go MIA just for a cold— I know, I know, this could be more serious than that," he added hastily, as Melanie began to scoff. "But you see my point, don't you? If it's just a cold, it's just a cold… at least with normal parents."

"Right," Melanie said. "So it'll be a good idea to tell her when I get back. We have to explain the real reason I'm gone." She paused for a second and noticed Roger was quiet. "Roger, are you nervous about telling her?"

"Very," Roger admitted. "But she loves us and we love her. She'll be upset for a while, but after the initial shock passes and she knows I'm healthy and Collins is healthy, I'm sure she'll accept it."

"Yeah, but baby, I'm scared, too," Melanie said.

"I am, too, baby, it's me we're talking about here," Roger said.

"I know, baby, I'm sorry," Melanie said. "I'll see you in a few days, OK?"

"OK. I love you, Melanie," Roger said. Then a thought occurred to him. "Oh, and another thing we should talk about when you get back, where do you want to go on our honeymoon?"

"Oh yeah!" Melanie said, clapping a hand to her forehead. "I forgot! I'm so sorry."

Roger laughed. "Don't worry about it," he said. "We've been through a lot and it's not going to get easier just yet. I can understand why it might have slipped your mind. So I was thinking, how about the Bahamas?"

"Oh, Roger, can we really afford that?" Melanie asked, sounding both skeptical and thrilled.

"Well, let's just say my granddad might have chipped in some..." Roger began.

"Roger!" Melanie said, surprised.

"OK, so he chipped in a _lot_," Roger said, laughing. "We can use that to go on our honeymoon, don't you think?"

"Well, I suppose, but I would feel bad, don't you?" Melanie asked him.

"Not in the slightest, if it means seeing my lovely wife in a tankini," Roger laughed.

Melanie grinned. "Where are Mark and Katie going, do you know?" she asked him.

"I haven't a clue," Roger said, "although I bet Katie's hoping for Cannes."

"Cannes! Oh my," Melanie exclaimed. "Wow, I hope they can do that. That would be amazing for both of them, with the Film Festival and everything."

"Yep," Roger said. "I think that's the gist behind the general idea."

"Thank you, Roger," Melanie said. "I love the idea of the Bahamas. See you in a couple days. I love you."

"I love you, too, baby. Bye," Roger said, and then he hung up.

* * *

"Melanie, would you please quit being such a pain in the ass and just take this?" Maureen demanded, giving Melanie a fierce look and shaking the pregnancy test stick in front of her. "It just might be the answer to all your problems."

Melanie burst out laughing and rolled her eyes. But she took the pregnancy test from Maureen nevertheless.

"Well, I'm sorry if I'm being such a burden to you, Maureen. I don't mean to be a _problem _to you. Of all people, though, you should not be saying that," she said, giving Maureen a look before going into the bathroom.

"Well, it's true, as much as I do love you!" Maureen said loudly at her, as the door shut.

"Don't let Joanne hear you say that," Melanie called back, laughing. Maureen scoffed and went and flopped down on her bed. The bathroom adjoined hers and Joanne's bedroom.

A couple minutes later, Maureen knocked on the door, concerned when she heard no noise coming from behind it. But right after she knocked and was about to open her mouth to say something to Melanie, she heard Melanie yell her name.

Maureen shoved open the door and rushed into the bathroom.

* * *

The next day, Melanie slept in and woke up feeling only slightly sick. Now that she knew why, the feeling sick didn't bother her much at all.

"Hey, baby, are you feeling better?" Roger asked, embracing Melanie as she walked into the loft, Maureen beside her.

"At the moment, yes," Melanie said, smiling and kissing him.

"At the moment— hang on?" Roger said, looking at Maureen and Joanne suspiciously, "do you two know something I don't?"

Maureen giggled. "Yes, we do," she said, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Oh, Mo, quit torturing him," Melanie said, grinning and pushing her playfully. "Roger, I'm pregnant."

Roger's eyes widened. "You— you're what? You're— oh, wow!" he stammered.

Melanie smiled and laughed as Roger pulled her into his arms and kissed her excitedly. Then he hugged her gently, laughing. "Baby, this is so exciting!"

Melanie smiled. Her smile widened as Madeline came into the room and came over and hugged her.

"Mom, you're home," she said. "Are you feeling better?"

"I am, Maddy," Melanie said. "Dad and I have some exciting news for you."

"Oh yeah, what?" Madeline asked eagerly.

"I'm going to have a baby," Melanie said.

"Oh, Mom, that's excellent! Congratulations!" Madeline squealed. Melanie smiled and hugged her again. "So when will you have it?"

"I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to find out for sure. I'll let you know as soon as I do," Melanie said.

"OK," Madeline said. "Oh man, this is so exciting! I have got to call Christine and Scott and tell them!"

And squealing happily, she ran out of the room, out of the loft, and presumably, down to Melanie's flat to tie up the phone line.

Melanie turned and looked at Roger, who was beaming. But in that second that she looked at his face, she felt suddenly put out. She had just talked to him about being open with Madeline about his HIV and that would have been the perfect time to tell her, but the good news of Melanie's pregnancy had driven the opportunity out of the conversation. They would have to bring it up later, as much as they didn't want Madeline to be upset, as they knew she would be too soon.

That wasn't Melanie's only reason for feeling suddenly down. She was concerned that she could be positive, despite them using protection. She was also terrified for the baby, if he or she would be positive as well. It would be over a year until they found out whether or not the baby was positive.

But Melanie didn't have much time to brood, because at that moment, the loft door slid back and Katie burst into the room, laden with grocery bags. She set them on the counter as fast as she could and ran over to hug Melanie.

"Maureen just told us!" she squealed. "That is such great news, Mel! How far along are you?"

"Thanks, Katie," Melanie said, laughing. "My estimate is six weeks. I'm normally a week late, give or take a few days, but I'm two weeks late this time, so I guessed I was. Maureen hounded at me long enough to get my ass off her bed— because she hates Joanne's couch— take the test, so I finally did, and here we are."

Katie nodded. "And it was true!" she squealed.

Melanie smiled at her friend's enthusiasm. "Yeah," she said. "I'm going in tomorrow to see my doctor. I'll let you know as soon as Roger and I know. We just told Madeline. She's downstairs at the moment, tying up the phone line."

"Yeah, we saw that," Katie said, smiling, tears sparkling in her eyes.

Melanie turned now to Collins, who was beaming and sniffling. He had tears in his eyes. "Oh, Collins, don't cry," she said, hugging him close. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

Collins wiped his eyes and took a deep breath and said, "Nothing, don't worry about me. I'm fine," he said. It's just that I'm so happy for you. You and Roger are having a kid. I mean, I remember you from high school, Mel— which was college for me— and what you were like then. Now we're all older and I'm positive, but damn near 40. I've been blessed to live with this disease since I was 21— not be killed by it, I mean. I've lived longer with it than anyone else I know. But I got to see you finally marry Roger and now you're having a baby. That's the most amazing thing in the world."

"Collins, you're healthy. Nothing's wrong right now, right?" Melanie asked him, expecting complete honesty. Collins looked from her to Sam, who was standing next to him, his hands on Collins' shoulders, then nodded. "So I don't want you to think about that so much. It'll be OK." Collins wiped tears from her face and she from his. "I mean, there's no denying you have it, but what's the use in dreading it just because of new life? I mean, right?"

Collins nodded. "I'm sorry, Baby girl," he said. "I'm totally ruining the mood. I shouldn't be talking like this. I'm acting like a blubbering idiot. I'm gonna stop right now."

"Good, because you need to give me another hug," Melanie said, smiling at him.

Collins gently wrapped his arms around her in a hug.

* * *

Roger covered Melanie's hand with his and squeezed it as the nurse called their name to see their doctor. There wasn't much they didn't already know, but they were excited to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time.

"It'll be OK," he whispered, his mouth close to her ear, as they followed the nurse into the exam room.

"Hello, Melanie," Melanie's doctor, Bethany McBride, greeted her when she entered the room, after the nurse had taken her vitals and brought in the ultrasound machine. "So I hear you and Roger have good news?"

"I'm pregnant, Doctor McBride," Melanie said, "I took a test yesterday, and it said positive."

"Well, let's just see if we find anything, OK?" Doctor McBride asked. "Those tests are rarely false."

Melanie lay back on the exam table and Doctor McBride put the gel on her stomach, which was still flat. The doctor maneuvered the tool around, and a few minutes later, Roger and Melanie heard the sound of their baby's heartbeat for the first time.

"There you go, Melanie, Roger," Doctor McBride said, smiling at them. "That's your baby's heartbeat."

Roger leaned down and kissed Melanie, tears glistening in his eyes. Then he met the doctor's slightly concerned gaze. "What is it, Doctor McBride?" he asked. Melanie sat up a little to listen.

"Well, if you listen closely, you can hear the baby has a slightly arrhythmia," Doctor McBride said. Melanie and Roger listened for a moment and could make out the sound. "But as you are perfectly healthy, Melanie, and you are only six weeks along—"

"Aha, I was right!" Melanie whooped, punching her fist into the air and then giving Roger a high-five. Roger laughed.

Doctor McBride gave Roger a curious look. "She guessed," he said, rolling his eyes and grinning.

"Ah," Doctor McBride said, smiling. "Then I can only tell you that this arrhythmia will probably correct itself as the baby continues to develop. So, I am going to put you on neonatal vitamins and encourage you to continue being healthy." She handed Roger a washcloth. "Keep taking the AZT every day to help ensure that your baby doesn't have HIV. And Roger, please wipe the gel from your wife's belly. Everything is great, so you two may go and good luck."

She smiled one last time and bid them goodbye and left. Roger kissed each spot of Melanie's belly he wiped clean. Melanie giggled happily.

* * *

"So what did the doctor say?" Katie asked, when Melanie and Roger returned to the loft.

"She said the baby is developing completely normally, except the baby has a slight arrhythmia, or heart murmur," Melanie said. "Only she wasn't worried, because she said it usually corrects itself as the baby develops more."

"That's good," Katie said. "I'm glad everything is OK. You made me nervous for a while there."

"Me too; sorry," Melanie said, sitting down in a chair. "So, Roger is thinking about moving downstairs."

"Oh yeah, why?" Katie asked.

"For me, mostly," Melanie said. "I mean, I'm due in March. He doesn't like the idea of a pregnant women going down those metal stairs in wintertime. What about you, though?"

"Me? Nah, not for another year or so, at last," Katie said, shaking her head. "Plus, Mark should find a job first, before we start having kids. Plus, we've had to postpone our honeymoon."

Melanie nodded. "We have, too," she said, "although our reason is because of our kid… kids," she amended.

Katie nodded. "You'll get to go soon," she said. "Just don't stay in the Bahamas long enough that you never want to come back to the city." Melanie laughed. "So what are you hoping for?"

"I think we're both hoping for another girl, but whatever we get, we get," Melanie said. "But I bet Roger is hoping for another girl to wrap around his little finger."

Katie smiled. "Well, we know how he is with Madeline," she said. "I bet he will be amazing with a new little girl wrapped around his little finger."

"Well, we will find out in about six months, won't we?" Melanie said, smiling.

_

* * *

_

Three weeks later...

"Roger, those are great songs," Larry Larson, Roger's manager, said to him, that evening when he and the band were rehearsing them for their new upcoming CD. "When did you write those?"

"I wrote 'Light in Your Eyes' after Melanie left back in 1982," Roger said. "It's not completely finished yet, but I'm thinking on it. I wrote 'I'm With You' right after my daughter, Brianna, was born. She liked the stars mobile above her bassinet so much and she had stars in her eyes." Roger looked away quickly and blinked back tears. It still hurt somewhat to talk about Brianna. "As for 'The One That Got Away', I wrote that for Melanie after she came back. And you know how much I love Bon Jovi."

Larry laughed. "Yeah," he said, "we can do more than just that one as a cover, too. You and Melanie are doing OK, then?"

"We're doing great," Roger said. "She's pregnant."

"Wow, Roger, that's excellent, congratulations," Larry said, smiling at him.

"Thanks. We are both pretty excited and nervous about the baby. Maddy is especially excited," Roger said, smiling. "Melanie's not even four months along and she's already getting kind of big."

Larry smiled. "That's great," he said. "Your goal is to release the CD before the baby is born, right?"

"Right," Roger said, "so we can promote it while Melanie is at home on maternity leave. Then I'm going on paternity leave for eight weeks. Then I was hoping we could hold off on the tour until the baby is about six months old and resume it until the baby turns one. I would like to be at home for my baby's first birthday because that's the one-year HIV testing time, if that's all right. After that, when we tour doesn't matter, as long as I can run it by Melanie first, if that's OK. Melanie's due in March, so we could tour from then to May, then July to October."

"I like that idea. It gives you time to be at home for her and the baby," Larry said.

Roger nodded. "I'm glad you're OK with the idea," he said. "I don't want to do something wrong to compromise the band's success. But at the same time—"

"— you would indefinitely choose family over fame," Larry said, nodding understandably. "It's OK, we totally get that." Roger smiled gratefully. "Well, in that case, we should start working on recording the songs, huh? I mean, you have those three finished and they need to be put to music. You need only to finish 'Light in Your Eyes' and we'll have part of an album already done. I'll give you, say, what, three weeks to finish the lyrics to 'Light in Your Eyes'?"

"Sure," Roger said. "I've been thinking about them a lot lately, so it shouldn't be a problem. Hell, I can probably have them by tomorrow, if you want."

"OK," Larry said.

"So no pressure at all, Roger," Declan said, grinning at him and clapping him on the shoulder.

Roger rolled his eyes and grinned.

This is the end of chapter 10. You won't have to wait too long for future updates, because I've already got four more chapters typed up after this (I'm working on starting writing/typing chapter 15 at the moment.) I know I haven't officially introduced Sam to the Bohemians yet (through Collins), so I'm going to try to get that in the works somewhere (because, if any of you are guessing, they are together, I just haven't made that entirely clear yet for a reason), but that's been the most difficult part of all. There have just been no opportune moments yet. I'm working on it.

Oh yeah, and on a side note… three days ago, in my English Composition I class, my professor mentioned in her lecture that she would hate to be called "baby doll" by her significant other (she's married). I don't remember what we were talking about to get her on that topic, but I was very much reminded of Collins and how I often have him calling his girls he's close to "baby girl". I told my professor this about Collins, speaking of him as if he were a friend of mine in real life, quite a bit older than me, that if you "know" Collins, you know "baby girl" coming from him is normal. She just nodded and said, "yes, that may be so, but she would still hate to be called 'baby doll', since she is 'not a toy to be played with by children'," LOL. (Of course, to save myself a lot of ridicule from stupid college jock boys, I was smart and didn't mention that Collins is simply a fictitious character not of my own imagination.) Anyways, it was quite funny. I had a hard time trying not to laugh, because my classmates were giving me strange looks...

Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	11. Flashbacks, Part 1

This chapter will be very emotional and as long as chapter 9, Two Weddings and a Funeral. This is your only warning. I did say I was going to include flashbacks in future chapters. And just a reminder, "Grandma Kali" is Melanie's mother, Mrs. Schwartz. Here is chapter 11, Flashbacks, Part 1.

"Baby girl, I have to ask you something," Collins said to Melanie, the next day. "I'm hoping to get everyone together at the loft tonight. There's someone I want you all to meet."

"Sure, Collins, we're free," Melanie said, smiling at him. "What's up?"

"Uh, uh, no spoilers," Collins said, smiling at her. "Just come to the loft tonight for a little meeting. You'll see."

"OK, I'll be there," Melanie said, smiling at him. Collins smiled back at her.

* * *

"OK, everyone, quiet down," Collins said, bringing the talking to a halt, as everyone arrived at the loft and made themselves comfortable in various chairs and on the floor. "There's someone I'd like you guys to officially meet." Collins turned to Sam, who was sitting next to him. "Everyone, this is my boyfriend, Sam Jacobs. He's Katie's flyer at the Gershwin and the newest special someone in my life."

Collins smiled and squeezed Sam's hand lovingly.

"Hi, Sam, it's nice to meet you," everyone said together.

"How long have you two been going out?" Maureen asked.

"Since a week or so after the funeral," Collins replied. "Katie introduced us there." Maureen nodded.

"That's really great, Collins. I'm glad you two are happy together," Katie said, smiling at Collins.

"And it's all thanks to you, Baby girl," Collins said, smiling back at her. "So thank you."

"It was nothing," Katie said, smiling.

Mark turned to Katie. "Wait, you had something to do with this?" he asked her, looking at her suspiciously.

"Ha, ha, of course I did," Katie said, laughing. Mark rolled his eyes and grinned and pulled Katie close to him.

"And I'm sure glad she did, Mark," Sam said, smiling at Mark and Katie.

Mark nodded. "Good for you, Sam," he said, smiling at Sam.

Sam smiled and happily joined in with the conversation the rest of the time the group remained together. He seemed very happy and relieved they had accepted him so easily into their family unit.

* * *

A few weeks later, Melanie noticed the light was on in the kitchen. The baby's kicking had woken her, so she went to go turn it off. She saw Roger sitting at the table.

"Hey, baby," she said sleepily, going over to him.

"Hey," he said softly, "did I wake you?"

"No, the baby did," Melanie said. "I saw the light on and came to turn it off, but then I saw you sitting there."

Roger groaned as Melanie's strong hands massaged his shoulders. "I'm trying to finish this song," he said.

"Oh," Melanie said, "do you want me to go?"

"No, stay, please," Roger said.

"How's it going?" Melanie asked.

"It's OK," Roger said, "but the words themselves are eleven years old. They seem... childish and it makes me not want to finish it. I just want to throw it away."

"Oh, but you should finish it, if it's for the upcoming album," Melanie said.

"Yeah, I know, but..." Roger said. He pushed the paper away and pushed his chair back. "Mel, I wrote it after you left originally. It's the problems of an 18-year-old in mourning. I don't know if I'm comfortable keeping it around."

Melanie nodded. "Would you feel more comfortable with it if you finished the words and then put it to music and played it for me, before the boys heard it?" she asked, referring to Larry, Declan, Will, and Johnny.

"It might," Roger said. "Let me go get my guitar."

"OK," Melanie said, and she eased herself into a chair as Roger went into their bedroom and got his guitar. He already knew the new words. They had been in his head since Melanie's return. The old words and melody came back to him like an old friend.

_It's been a while since I've seen you, so how have you been?  
__Did you get my letter I wrote you, I did not send?  
__I tried to call your old number, and the voice that I heard on the phone  
__I recognized, but you told me the number was wrong_

_There's a light in my eyes, but it's too bright to see  
__And a pain in my heart where you used to be  
__Guess I was wrong to assume that you were waiting here for me  
__There's a light in your eyes  
__Did you leave that light burning for me?  
__Yeah_

"Roger, that was beautiful," Melanie said. "You wrote that for me?"

"Yeah," Roger said, looking up at her. "Do you think I should keep it?"

"I do," Melanie said. "I mean, I know you were upset when you wrote it originally, but I like the new words. They complete it."

Roger smiled. "Thanks, baby," he said. "OK, I'll keep it."

"Just don't let the boys give you crap about it," Melanie said.

"I won't, and if they do, I'll just deck them," Roger said. "I love you, Melanie."

"I love you, too, Roger," Melanie said, kissing him.

"And I love you, too, my baby," Roger said to Melanie's stomach, smiling and caressing it.

Melanie placed her hands on top of his. "I can't believe I'm only about five months along and I'm already huge. This baby better not get any bigger or I might explode."

"Baby, you're beautiful in every way," Roger said, putting his arms around her.

Melanie smiled. "I'm excited to see our baby for the first time next week," she said.

"Me too, baby," Roger said. He looked at her. "So what are you hoping for?"

"A boy, I think," Melanie said. "I think I'll be happy with whatever we get, though."

"I want another girl," Roger said.

"Of course you do, Roger, you want to have another little girl wrapped around your little pinky," Melanie said.

Roger laughed. Then they both noticed Madeline had shuffled sleepily into the room.

"Hi, Maddy girl," Melanie said. "Did Dad and I wake you?"

Madeline nodded. "I heard Dad playing and came to see what was up," she said.

"Oh, that," Melanie said. "He was playing a song he wrote for me."

"That's cool," Madeline said. "Do you have one for me, Dad?"

"Not yet, kiddo, but I will definitely work on one," Roger said.

"OK," Madeline said.

"So, Maddy, do you want a little brother or little sister?" Melanie asked her.

"Brother," Madeline said. "I mean, I think a little brother would be less annoying, but I dunno."

Roger and Melanie laughed. Then Melanie put a hand on her stomach.

"Are you OK?" Roger asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Melanie said. "The baby just kicked, that's all." She looked at Madeline. "Do you want to feel the baby kick?"

"Sure," Madeline said, and she placed her hand on Melanie's stomach. "Oh, wow, that's totally awesome."

Melanie smiled. "It's probably really exciting when it's not inside you," she said.

"Mom, are you scared to... you know... give birth?" Madeline asked.

"No," Melanie said. "I had you, didn't I?"

Madeline nodded. "True," she said.

"But I guess I will admit I'm a little scared. You see..." Melanie began.

But she stopped talking at the look on Roger's face. He looked suddenly dark.

"Madeline, before your mom continues, there are some things you need to know about your dear old dad," he said to Madeline.

"Yeah, like what?" Madeline asked nervously.

"Well, to put it one way, we haven't been as… open with you about some things, as we could have," Roger said.

"What do you mean?" Madeline asked, confused.

"I need to start from the beginning," Roger said. "It's a long story. Let's go back to our room and we'll tell you."

"OK," Madeline said. They went into the bedroom and she climbed in between them on the bed and they began to tell her their life stories.

* * *

"Your mom and I started going out originally back at the beginning of our sophomore year," Roger told Madeline. "It got serious and we ended up choosing to have sex on Christmas Eve, our fourth-month anniversary of being together. Then a month later, Melanie discovered she was pregnant and a couple days later, her brother, Brian, died in a car accident. Collins was with him.

"Collins survived, obviously. It broke a lot of hearts, especially his, when Brian died. I'm not saying Collins was more affected than Melanie or your Grandma Kali, though. Then, at the beginning of our junior year, Brianna Maureen Davis was born."

"Wait a second, I had a big sister and you never told me about her?" Madeline asked angrily.

"We were still having a really hard time dealing with the fact that we had to give her up for adoption, sweetie. We were teenage parents and pretty ashamed of this for a long time. We didn't feel ready to tell you and we didn't think you were ready to know. We wanted to wait until you were older to tell you."

"I get it, Dad," Madeline said, calming down. "Sorry, I didn't mean to freak at you." Roger nodded understandingly. "What else?"

"I wanted to marry your mom after we graduated from high school, but she didn't feel ready," Roger said. "She tried to leave quietly, so as to prevent the wedding, but—"

"— but I got attacked by a random guy here in the city, he raped me," Melanie said, holding Roger's hand tightly.

"Oh, my God, Mom!" Madeline exclaimed, horrified.

"It was pouring rain when I tried to leave Collins' flat— this very place, actually— where I had crashed after I'd left Roger cold-footed on the altar. I got really sick," Melanie said, still not letting go of Roger's hand. "Collins and Roger found me and saved my life. I almost died, but Brian sent me back to them. After I got better, I made the decision to officially leave Scarsdale and move to the city. Only Collins and my mom actually knew originally where I was going. I didn't even want to tell Maureen, out of fear she would tell Roger and he would track me down. He had already come to Collins' flat once he discovered I was there, especially when he learned I had been violated and was ill. I couldn't stay here because Roger had come here in a distressed rage and crashed. I got a job at the Life Café as soon as I could, the summer before I entered NYU. Then I had you."

"Me?" Madeline asked, smiling.

"Yes, you," Melanie said, smiling back at her. "You were born halfway through my freshman year of college." Melanie chose to skip over the fact that she had thought Madeline was her attacker's child, until the birth, and what she might have done if she had been. "When you were born, you had your dad's beautiful eyes. I didn't feel as scared anymore. I couldn't raise you in the dorm, obviously, but I couldn't stay at Collins', either, because Roger, Mark, and Maureen all moved in with him. I got a crappy one-bedroom apartment in Chelsea and I saved absolutely every penny possible from my job. I know it was terrible living, and I do regret it, but we got by.

"I saw Collins daily, while I was attending NYU, but he kept his word to me and didn't tell Roger or anyone else where I was. He helped with you a lot. Katie made a huge contribution, too. We explained to our advisors the situation and we were able to coordinate our classes, so one of us was with you at all times. She soon became a permanent person in our lives.

"Then, when you were about eight, the three of us moved into the flat below your dad and Uncle Mark's, where we are now. The first time I saw your dad playing his guitar on the roof, I wanted so badly to see him again, but he didn't know I was watching him and I knew it was best that way, as much as it hurt. We would see each other again, probably before I was really ready."

Melanie looked at Roger and leaned against his shoulder. "So that's my story and I'm sticking to it," she said. She looked up at Roger and said, "Your turn now, dear."

Roger nodded. "After your mom left, I started playing right away at gigs all over Scarsdale, working my way toward the city. I was able to move in with Collins, Maureen, Mark, and our now-landlord Benny, whom you don't know. We got rent free because Benny married his high school sweetheart, whose dad owns this building to this day. We were damn lucky, too. Five high school graduates can't even dream about living in a New York City flat, yet there we were, living together in one. It was crowded, but since Maureen was going out with Mark, if you get my drift, things worked OK.

"Then Mark went off to Brown University on his parents' dream of his becoming a doctor. Maureen broke up with him because he left her alone in the city, basically, and so he dropped out at the end of his junior year and came back to the city to try to become an independent filmmaker. His parents practically disowned him. They never forgave him for not following their dream. Meanwhile, I didn't even consider college and started playing gigs, sometimes illegally, although I was never caught, in clubs and stuff. CBGB's was 18-and-over, so that was my big start. I played there three nights a week and weekends.

"I was stupid. There, I met this girl named April Ericsson. She came to me after a show one night and asked if I wanted to go have a drink. We chatted that night until the manager kicked us out at, like, 3 a.m. We started going out and were in love. She was open with me about the fact that she was a junkie addicted to heroin. She was already doing it when I met her and she persuaded me to try it." Roger looked at Madeline. "I told you, I was a stupid kid. When she discovered she was HIV-positive from using dirty needles, she..."

Melanie held his hand tighter, knowing Roger would need support through this next part of his life story.

"She killed herself," Roger said. "She left a note to me, telling me that we both had AIDS, and she fucking killed herself. She didn't have the decency to tell me in person, she left a damn note first and then killed herself." Roger broke down in tears as the memory of her death came back to him.

_April entered the loft after coming back from the doctor's office with her HIV antibody test results. A week and a half ago, her friend Veronica had suggested she get tested. Veronica had been the one to introduce heroin to April in the first place, and was now HIV-positive. A few days later, April had gone in and gotten tested, and the doctor had said it would be a week before her results came back. Today was day seven and the results had come back. The results were positive._

_Patient Name: Ericsson, April  
Sex: F_

_HEALTH SERVICES OF NEW YORK  
__NEW YORK, NY_

_Report Status: POSITIVE HIV ANTIBODY TEST_

_The nurse had asked if April had any questions, but all April had heard was the rushing noise in her ears. She was shocked beyond belief and scared as hell._

_She went into hers and Roger's room and started rummaging through his closet. She came upon a box and opened it: inside were pictures of Roger and Melanie, some of them with a baby and some without. The pictures of Melanie while she was pregnant looked both ecstatic and happy and terribly sad. April knew that was because Melanie's brother, Brian, had died in a car accident and Melanie and Roger had had to give the baby up for adoption at birth. They couldn't have raised her on their own. Roger had told her it was the hardest thing he had ever had to do and he had wanted to forget, which is why he had started doing heroin with her in the first place._

_April looked down at the pictures with hot tears of anger in her eyes. She knew Roger would never love her as much as he had Melanie, even though they had a physical relationship going on and shot up heroin together. It was almost like she was just a plaything to him, like their relationship was all a game. And now they were both positive and it was her fault. She had ruined his life because of her stupid decision to try heroin at Veronica's suggestion. She had persuaded Roger to do it. She felt like the most terrible person in the world. She couldn't handle anything anymore. She was upset and angry and scared and depressed._

_She started to cry uncontrollably and went into the bathroom. She got her razor out of the shower and put a brand-new head on it. She got a tube of deep red lipstick from her makeup cabinet, wrote a very short note on it in the lipstick, and set it down next to the tub. She undressed and sat in the bathtub and playfully ran it up and down her arm._

_At first, it tickled. Then she applied a little more pressure to her wrist and did not flinch in pain as she made a slight cut in her skin. She was in too much emotional pain at the moment to feel physical pain. She didn't care. She made the second cut a little deeper. Soon, she had long, gouging cuts on her wrist, from which the blood flowed freely. As the blood ran down her arms and onto the bottom of the tub, she moved the razor to her other arm and made similar deep cuts. She ran the razor down her left arm with all the force she could muster._

_As the blood flowed out of her body, she waited to lose consciousness. Images of her, Roger, and Melanie seemed to flow out of her body with the red, shiny blood. Images of something she could never truly have with him, which he had had with Melanie, something she was incredibly jealous of and would not get over._

_A few minutes later, she passed out from blood loss. She eventually died from her self-inflicted injuries. No one could save her where she was going now. Who needed Mark to dance the tango to hell? She was already there._

_Roger returned home from a gig, for once, not strung out and high. April hadn't gone with him, but he knew she had had a doctor's appointment, sos he couldn't come watch. Collins and Mark had come to watch the gig, to keep an eye on him, in case anything happened._

"_April?" he asked, looking around the loft and not seeing her. "April, where are you?"_

_The loft was dead-silent. Roger went to the bathroom, thinking she was in the shower. But he didn't hear water running as he approached the bathroom. He started to worry and picked up his pace. Then the sight of what met his eyes horrified him._

"_Oh my God, April!" Roger yelled, terrified. He bolted over to the tub and fell to his knees and embraced her still, tiny body. For being only about five-foot-four, barely 120 pounds, she had a lot of blood. Roger looked around, knowing Collins and Mark weren't far behind him. "Collins! Mark! Help! Get in here now! Help!" he screamed desperately._

_Collins and Mark ran into the bathroom and were both greeted by the sight of Roger clinging desperately to April's body. Her eyes were closed and she looked like she was sleeping. But they knew she was dead because of all the blood._

"_Roger, come away from her," Collins said. He went over to Roger and placed his hand on Roger's shoulder. He tugged gently, but Roger wouldn't budge. "Mark, call 911," Collins said, looking back at Mark, whose face had lost any remaining color he had had._

_Mark bolted from the bathroom, looking slightly green, and went to go call 911. Both he and Collins knew it was too late to try to revive April, but they had to take her body away. Mark came back into the room a few minutes later and stared at Roger from the doorway. No matter what Collins said, Roger would not let go of April, and he wasn't even high._

"_Look at this," he sobbed, shoving a small piece of paper at Mark and Collins, who took it._

_In deep red lipstick, it read:_

_Roger, WE HAVE AIDS!!!_

_Mark and Collins could only stare at Roger in horror at what they had just witnessed. April was HIV-positive and was now dead by suicide. It could only mean Roger had HIV, too._

_The ambulance came to take April's body away, as well as a few cops to get Roger, Mark, and Collins' statements. "Roger, you gotta get up," Mark said to him. Roger shook his head; eyes closed, whimpering, he would not move. "Roger, the cops need your statement. They need to know what went on here, so we can figure it out. Come on. Please."_

_With both Mark and Collins' hands on his shoulders, Roger was gently persuaded to come away from April's body. They went out of the bathroom, so as not to see the paramedics putting April's body into a body bag._

"_She's HIV-positive, so please be careful!" Roger yelled after them, not looking at them putting April's body into the body bag. The paramedics, of course, already knew this. Mark and Collins had showed them the note when they had arrived._

_Then Roger, shaking with fear and grief, was guided out to the kitchen by Mark and Collins, who sat him in a chair. Mark was looking very grave and angry. Collins was shaking with silent sobs, but there were no tears on his face, only sparkling in his eyes._

"_We need your name, sir," one of the cops said to Roger._

"_Roger Davis," Roger muttered._

"_Can you tell us what happened?" another one of the cops asked. "Take your time. We know this is really hard for you."_

"_Her n-name is April Ericsson. She's a heroin addict. She got tested for HIV last week and I guess it was positive. I d-don't really know when she did it," Roger said through his tears. "I just got home a few minutes ago from a gig. I d-didn't see her in the loft anywhere, so I figured she had g-gone to take a shower. I didn't hear water running, though, or any noise at all, so I started to get worried. I came in here and I saw her lying in the bathroom with all that b-blood… She was already d-dead…"_

"_Thank you," the first cop said. "That's very helpful. Thank you. We're so sorry for your loss, Mr. Davis."_

_Roger nodded numbly and said nothing._

"_We'll take good care of her," one of the paramedics said kindly, as he passed Roger on his way out the door with the body bag in his and another paramedic's hands._

_Roger saw the body bag and turned and tried to bolt. Collins and Mark both grabbed him by the arms and he let out a strangled yell, clutching his face and hair forcefully, his eyes squeezed shut. He struggled for a moment and they both forced him away, so he couldn't see the body bag or the scene. It was several moments before he stopped trying to scream and get away from them. Then he sank to the floor, desperately lost._

"_What are we gonna do, Collins?" Roger asked desperately._

"_We'll get you clean, Rog," Collins said. "We'll do anything to get you off this shit, so you don't end up like April, OK?"_

_Roger nodded. "OK," he said. But all he really wanted was more heroin, to shoot as much heroin into himself as possible, so he could join April and forget about all that had just traumatized him._

"Oh, my God, Dad, I can't believe you… you're…" Madeline stammered, tears in her eyes. "You have HIV. All that happened and you're dying and you never told me?"

Roger nodded. "I was scared, Maddy," he said. "I was scared to tell you. I was scared how you'd take it or that you'd hate me. I didn't think you were old enough to know until now. I wanted to wait."

"Dad, you're going to die and I'm going to lose you sooner than anyone else I know!" Madeline yelled, getting off the bed. "How could you lie to me about that?"

Madeline ran from the room, tears streaming down her face, before Roger could answer. "Madeline," he said. "Madeline!" he yelled after her.

But she did not look back. Roger heard the door to her room slam. He sank back on his pillows and cried. "She hates me, Mel," he said. "I didn't want to tell her until she's older and now she hates me for not telling her. Doesn't she get it that I would give anything to back in time and say 'no' to doing smack with April?"

"She doesn't hate you, Roger," Melanie said, leaning against his shoulder and rubbing his chest. "She's just upset. It's a real shock. Don't worry, she'll come back. I mean, she might not talk about it until, like, tomorrow, but she'll come back. She loves you and you love her. She won't hate you because you were honest with her about it, just not throughout her life. You waited until you thought she was ready. That's honesty. She'll come around."

"I hope so, baby," Roger said, wiping his eyes and lying down on his pillows. "I hope so."

Roger failed to hold back another sob and Melanie lay down next to him as he cried. She made soothing noises and very gently rubbed his arms and face with her fingertips and fingernails. Roger soon relaxed at her touch and was asleep.

This is the end of chapter 11. I know it's taken forever and ever for me to work in Roger telling her about his HIV. But it just never came into the conversation before now, and I didn't want to force it. Believe me, I tried. Obviously, having HIV and having to tell others you have it, is terrible and difficult to do. But Roger had to tell her. He had to be honest with her about it. She couldn't live the rest of her life not knowing, or else being lied to about it, seriously or not. She had to know. That's a huge thing for a twelve-year-old to find out, but Roger did say he waited until he thought she was old enough to know. Now she knows and things can move on. She won't be angry at him for long.

Also, I have never had to deal with any suicide in my life, not friends or family or anyone, but I still tried to be as accurate as possible with what I imagined it would look like and be like. I hope what I wrote is accurate. At first, I wanted to skip April's suicide, then I wanted to do a different back story than what I have now, and now what I have is what I've settled on. I hope you enjoyed it. It hurt me a lot to hurt Roger as much as I did, with April's dying, especially the part where he sees the body bag being carried out. But I had to do it and I did and it's done.

As always, don't forget to review. Thanks for reading. I'll update the next half of these flashbacks soon, probably before tonight is over.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	12. Flashbacks, Part 2

Just to clarify, Melanie is a court typist. She sits in on trials and records them and then types up the conversations to be stored as records. I don't know if that's really what court typists do, but it sounds reasonable, so I'm using that as her occupation, with her secretarial degree from NYU (even if said degree is not possible to obtain at NYU.) It works all right for the story, so I hope you readers are OK with that.

Here is chapter 12, _Flashbacks, Part 2, _a continuation of chapter 11, _Flashbacks, Part 1_. Once you get to the flashbacks part, if you are a Mark fan, it might be hard for you to handle. This is your only warning.

The next morning, Madeline got ready for school so quickly that Roger was barely able to say a word to her at breakfast before she was ready for Melanie to take her to school. But as Melanie and Madeline were about to drive off, Roger rushed outside and stopped them.

"Melanie, wait," he said breathlessly, stopping next to the car. "I would like to take Madeline to school today. I mean, I'll drop you off at work, because I know you have to go, but... Please, can I?"

"Sure, Roger," Melanie said. She was confused for a moment, but then realized what he meant, by the look on his face. "Yes, you can drop me off at work first and then take Madeline to school. I'm late, anyway."

"OK, baby, thanks," Roger said, smiling at her. What he really wanted wasn't to drive: he wanted to talk to Madeline alone. Of course, he wouldn't have minded if Melanie was there, too, but if he was truly alone with Madeline, he could talk to her face-to-face and they could come to an understanding.

Roger dropped Melanie off at the courthouse and then took Madeline to school. Before she could bolt out of the car and go into the school, he said calmly, "Madeline, before you get out, please talk to me about this."

"How about we don't?" Madeline said stubbornly.

"Madeline Rose Davis, please try to understand," Roger said. "I love you so much that I didn't want you traumatized by this until you were older. You wouldn't have been ready and it would have been so much worse. It would have been so much harder to take if you were younger than you are. Can't you see that I love you and I wanted to protect you from it?"

"If you wanted to protect me, why did you let Mom have me?" Madeline asked him, scowling at him from the passenger seat.

Roger gasped, shocked at her words. "Madeline, your mom had you before I got into drugs," Roger said. "She was pregnant with you before she left Scarsdale originally and went to the city. I only met April and got into the drugs _after_ that. I didn't even know about you until a couple years ago because she didn't tell me. She was scared, too, scared how I would react at finding out she had our child— you— without me. It is how life is in New York City, you live in fear."

"So why do we live here, Dad? What about what they teach us in school, Dad?" Madeline asked. "That we should 'say no to drugs' and not have sex and shit like that?"

"Watch your mouth," Roger said sternly.

"Oh yeah, like you?" Madeline snapped.

"I'm a grown-up, young lady," Roger said sternly. "When you're 18, you can choose whether or not you want to start swearing, but not until then, got it? You know you can express yourself in other ways."

Madeline shrugged indifferently.

"They didn't emphasize sex education and stuff back in the 60's and 70's, when I was growing up," Roger said. "They didn't know how dangerous it was, or if they did, they didn't care, because big businesses made money that way. Now they know the dangers of unprotected sex and drugs and drinking and smoking and they want to try and prevent kids from doing those things and getting into trouble or ruining their lives from it, like I did. I managed to turn myself around, but you getting into those things are the last thing I want. The day I discovered your mom was back in town, I quit smoking, because I knew I still loved her and wanted to marry her and that we would have more kids someday. Don't you see? I've made positive choices to change my life for the better, although my addition and usage has obviously left behind permanent damage. You should use me as an example of what not to do and what to do, both, really."

"OK, Dad," Madeline said. She heaved a sigh. "Well, I don't know if I'll be able to concentrate in school now. Can't I just skip?"

"Not a chance," Roger said. "You can skip in college." Madeline's evil grin was identical to Roger's. "Try your best today, honey. I know hearing all this is really hard, but still try, OK? Do your old man proud."

Madeline smiled and leaned over and hugged her father in the driver's seat. "OK, I will try. Bye, Dad," she said, and she got out of the car, swung her backpack over her shoulder, and walked away.

"Bye, my sweet girl," Roger said, and he smiled as he went back to the loft.

* * *

Later that night, Roger and Melanie were telling Madeline more of their pasts, since Madeline had calmed down from the original breaking of the news and wanted to hear more.

"My addiction got worse from the stress of April dying. I escaped the house several times and still had a way to escape it by getting high, so I took it. At first, I only shot up a few times a week, usually in the dead of night when Mark was asleep. He watched me all day, while Collins was teaching, but I couldn't escape either of them in the evenings until they had both gone to bed. Mark filmed during the day and Collins taught during the day, so both of them needed their sleep when they could get it. Then it was shooting up daily. Then it became three times a day. It got so bad at one point that I needed it practically by the hour, or I became aggressive and dangerous in my desperation for more drugs. One day, I was coming down off my worst high yet. Mark was working on a short film and I pinned him against the wall in a rage and demanded all the money he had on him," Roger said.

_Mark looked up, but did not look around, from where he was working on a film in the middle of the loft one day, as he heard the door slam. He sighed heavily. He was so used to this by now that he didn't even jump. He knew it was Roger, back in the loft, probably still strung out and high. At the moment, he didn't want to deal with him, as he was working on a film about Melanie and Roger from high school called "Glory Days"._

_He didn't expect strong, rough hands to grab him by the back of his shirt, lift him clear into the air, and slam him against the wall. Glasses askew, the wind knocked out of him, Mark managed to choke, "Roger... what the fuck?"_

"_Give me your flow," Roger snarled, his eyes glazed over from his high. He was coming down off it and was desperate for money to get more drugs to get it back. Mark was the closest person he knew that would have money for him to go buy more. "Give me any money you have on you. Now."_

_Mark felt his lungs start to work properly again and gasped for breath. He said, "Roger, you know this isn't right. This isn't the real you. Snap out of it."_

"_Shut up, Mark!" Roger growled. "Shut the fuck up and give me your money! Give me your money or you will be hurting me like I'm hurting you! Do you want that on your conscious?"_

"_Roger, listen to yourself," Mark said. "This isn't who you are. You're a musician and a good man. You don't have to do this to deal with Melanie and April being gone. You _know _this is the last thing Melanie would have wanted for you, to be a junkie. You gotta do something to get off this. Collins and me and Benny and Maureen can help you get into a good rehab somewhere, to get off this shit. Or do I have to threaten that Maureen will kick the shit out of you if you don't try it?"_

"_Maureen can't hurt me," Roger snapped. "I can break her like a twig a second if I want to. Is that what you want?"_

"_Roger, even if she could hurt you, would you want her to break, say, your hands just because she could?" Mark asked him. "I know you love your guitar. Put it that way and see if you really want to hurt her."_

_Mark didn't know what else to say, but he knew he had to keep Roger talking and keep Roger's mind off wanting his money, until Collins got back from teaching at NYU. He would be able to help._

"_Roger, think of Melanie. I know it hurts, but think of her. Get off this shit for her. Do it for her. Doing it for her will be a good goal for you; it will help you get through the program and get off the stuff," Mark said._

"_Mark, I'm not gonna quit this. I don't want to," Roger said, dropping him to the floor. He whirled around. "I _like _being on this stuff. It makes the pain go away. It makes it so I don't have to think. I don't want to think. I don't want to live. If I keep on thinking and living, then Melanie and April's memories are still there and they hurt so badly."_

_Roger started to cry, but to stop himself crying, he threw a bone-jarring punch at Mark's gut. Then he threw another and another. Punch after punch, Roger was relentless, fury packed into each punch he threw at Mark. One hand was fiercely punching Mark in the gut, the other holding him by the throat, strangling him. Mark was powerless to stop him and couldn't defend himself._

_Then Collins came through the door. He didn't spare one second to say his usual hellos and went over and pulled Roger off Mark. He pulled Roger's arms around behind his back, like he was arresting him, and slammed him against the opposite wall._

"_Roger, what the _fuck _are you doing?" Collins yelled. Roger struggled against him, trying to get back to beat up Mark, but Collins' grip was like iron and would not sway. "Beating up on your best friend, who's practically your brother, what the _fuck_ is wrong with you? You're high _again_?" He continued on immediately, not letting Roger snap a breath of retort. "Roger, this is my final word. Either you get off this shit or get the hell out of this apartment!" Collins stared at Roger, seeing it in his eyes that he was coming further down off his high. He would be coherent in a few seconds and Collins could persuade him further. It was always that way. Collins waited impatiently for the rage to end. When he felt Roger relax against his grip, which was still unyielding, he said, "Make your decision, Roger, _now_."_

_Roger looked around at Collins, although he still could not move the rest of his body. "OK… OK," he said. "I'll enter rehab. I'll do whatever you want. Just let me go."_

_Collins knew he was probably hurting Roger with the awkward position he was keeping him in, but with Mark vomiting blood behind them from what Roger had done to him, he didn't care. At this moment, Roger deserved to be hurt just as badly as he had hurt Mark, or worse._

"_Do you swear?" Collins asked. Roger nodded. But that wasn't enough for Collins, who shook him roughly. "Say it!"_

"_I swear!" Roger yelled._

_Collins turned Roger around so he faced Mark, who was covered in blood and gasping for breath. Mark adjusted his glasses and tried gingerly to get to his feet, but his legs wouldn't work properly. "Apologize!" Collins yelled at Roger._

"_I'm sorry," Roger said, looking down at Mark, although some part of him didn't feel sorry at all and thought Mark deserved what he had gotten for not giving him the money._

_Collins looked at Mark. Mark was staggering to his feet, wiping blood from his mouth. "Mark, go lock the door," he said. Mark's legs began to work again and he limped over to the door and locked it. Only then did Collins let Roger go. "Roger, here are some new rules around here. There will be no more smack or shooting up around here. Not here, not anywhere. From now on, you are not to be let out of the house or out of our sight. You can't be trusted on your own. Don't you _dare_ say you need to make money to live, because you don't," Collins warned him, because Roger had opened his mouth to protest. "You wouldn't be spending it on drugs if you really needed it to live. I make more money than both you fools combined. You can live off me for a while; months, if you have to. If we have to lock you in here and not let you out for six months, to get you off this shit, then we will." He looked at Mark. "Right, Mark?"_

"_Right," Mark said, wincing from the pain._

"_It's settled then," Collins said. He looked at Mark. "Mark, we should probably take you to the ER and get those injuries checked out. I don't know how hard Roger was hitting you, but you might have internal bleeding."_

_Mark nodded. He wasn't going to protest. Collins gripped Roger's arm and shoved him out of the loft, with Mark limping slowly beside them, and they went to the emergency room._

"The withdrawal was the worst," Roger said, wiping his eyes. "It causes great physical pain and flu-like symptoms to withdraw from heroin, especially cold turkey, like I had to, with Collins' and Mark's help."

He closed his eyes, remembering one of his episodes.

"_Roger, don't make me kill you, man," Collins called out, as Roger bolted for the door._

"_Just one more, Collins, please, just one more! Then I'll be fine!" Roger insisted, as Collins grabbed him. Benny was visiting them and watching as Collins and Mark had to put up with Roger's craving. It pained him to watch Roger have to go through this, but there wasn't much he could do to help. He would only be in the way if he tried. Collins and Mark themselves seemed to have the best hold on the situation._

"_No way; you're not allowed," Collins said, bringing Roger over to the couch. He had to hold him down. Roger struggled still. "Remember, you're doing this for Melanie."_

"_I know, but it hurts so damn bad, Collins," he cried, clutching himself painfully, as Collins put on the projector in the loft._

_The films Mark had made of Roger and Melanie served as a great deterrent for Roger. All he had to do was see Melanie and he forgot all about his craving. He would watch the same footage countless times, over and over again, and he would tell Collins stories about her— not just Collins; he would tell anyone who would listen, really. When Mark, Maureen, and Benny were there, they would all reminisce about her. Maureen never spoke much about Melanie because her being gone was so hard on her. Melanie had been her best friend, so for her to just uproot and leave like she had, was very emotionally hard on Maureen._

"_So tell me about the first night you two... you know," Collins asked, smiling fondly at him._

"_We were all so happy that Christmas," Roger said. "You and Brian came home from NYU for the holidays. We had that huge snowball fight outside Melanie's front yard."_

"_Ha, I remember that," Collins said, grinning evilly. Benny laughed, too. "Benny got you good once on the side of the head and then you beat the shit out of him with snowballs."_

_Roger laughed, tears in his eyes as he remembered. "Mark got his scarf that Christmas Eve. You got your vest and jacket and cap, Collins," he said to Collins, who smiled and snuggled his jacket a little closer around his large frame. "I gave Melanie that jade necklace— I wonder if she still has it?"_

"_I bet she does, man," Collins said. "It was real jade and so special to her."_

_Then Roger grinned. "Mo got her leather cat suit," he said._

"_Oh God, yeah, we never wanted to know what she used that for," Collins laughed._

_Roger smiled. "Then Melanie and I watched a movie after everybody else went home and Melanie and I were alone… It was the most amazing night of my life. Then, oh my God, Brian discovered us the next morning."_

"_No way, seriously?" Collins asked, his eyes widening. Roger had never told anyone this._

"_Yeah," Roger said, smiling fondly. "Brian was a little angry, but he knew Melanie and I were in love and that I would take care of her, no matter what happened, so he helped me get out of the house before Mrs. Schwartz woke up."_

"_Wow," Collins said. "He was a good brother, to both you and Melanie."_

"_He took care of Melanie really well," Roger said. "He looked after her a lot. I know she thought it was annoying sometimes, but it really was for her own good. Brian looked after her when I couldn't."_

_Collins nodded, agreeing, and Roger saw tears in his eyes._

"_I'm sorry, man, I forgot," he said apologetically to Collins. "I know you probably miss him."_

_Collins nodded. "Every day," he said. "Whenever the sky is clear and there's a breeze, it's like he's still with me. I can almost feel him. Melanie's more like him than she realizes. She's quiet and mature and the least selfish person I know. She's beautiful and smart and kind and Brian is guiding her through her life, even though she doesn't know it."_

_Roger nodded. "You'll meet someone again, Collins," he said. "I know you will. You're an amazing guy."_

"_Thanks, Rog, I love you, too," Collins said, smirking._

_Roger laughed. "Sorry, Collins, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn you down," he said._

_Collins laughed._

"_You OK now, Rog?" Collins asked, as he got up to turn off the projector._

"_Hang on," Roger told him. He faced the projector and watched the film until it faded to black. "OK, I'm good now. Thanks."_

_Roger turned around and silently went to his bedroom. Collins, Benny, and Mark did not follow. The three of them knew he needed a few minutes alone. He didn't have a window in his room, so they could trust that he wouldn't try to escape._

"_I can't believe that works," Benny said, as Roger closed the door and the loft was quiet again._

"_Yeah, I know, it's a real lifesaver," Collins said. "It's so hard for him to be going through this, but he sees her in the film and gets a new strength to move on and change. He starts telling me about her and it is like magic. He's a different Roger, getting back to normal. She wasn't popular because people were either intimidated by her happiness and personality, or jealous of her; more than likely, the latter. It didn't really help her image and reputation that she was with Roger, although she turned him to mush a lot. It was both funny and nauseating to watch them together. I mean, he was this tough, leather-jacket-wearing, bad ass musician, and then he asked her out and he softened up completely. It was a good different. We believed she was his soul mate. I still believe that now, even though Melanie's gone. There was nothing like the two of them back then."_

"_Let's just hope this thing keeps working," Benny said, getting up from his chair._

"_It will. You saw them together in the flesh. He did anything for her. He would have taken a bullet for her if he'd had to."_

"_How was Roger this morning?" Mark asked, looking up at Collins. He had gone out all morning to film when he had the best light and guessed he had missed another craving._

"_It was touch and go for a bit, but I put the projector on and he was fine," Collins answered, smiling at him._

"_I was into taking pictures back then, so I had a lot of Roger and Melanie. Remember when the cops searched Roger's room? They said April had found this and it had set her off for the… the last time," Mark said. "I feel terrible that they affected her like they did, that she probably felt Roger could never love her as much as he did Melanie—"_

"_But he couldn't, man, he couldn't have possibly," Collins said, "no matter what."_

"_I know, Collins, I _know _that, OK?" Mark asked. "But still, it's terrible that it made her feel like that, even unintentionally. But I would never do anything to those pictures for the life of me."_

"_Good man," Collins said, patting him on the shoulder._

_Mark wiped tears from his eyes. Then he smiled. "I need to quit acting like a sop," he said._

"_Mark, you're allowed to cry, you know," Collins said. "I mean, not just for April, but… whenever. Men are raised to always be tough and have a plan. Well, we're still human. We can turn on the waterworks when we need to. It doesn't have to be just when someone dies. You're allowed to cry."_

"_Yeah, but... I just get confused. I don't know how to handle it when I can't be the strong one. It's what's expected of me, isn't it, with you guys being positive and all?"_

"_Mark, no, that's not how it is at all," Collins said. "That's not how it should be. It's unfair to you if it seems like that's how it is. I'm sorry. We'll try to make it seem like it isn't in the future, OK?"_

"_OK, Collins," Mark said, wiping his eyes again._

"It got better for me from there. I mean, I stopped craving the heroin so much and the physical pains went away, but I got really, really depressed and withdrawn. The only time I ever moved was to get coffee or eat or play crap on my guitar," Roger said to Madeline, who was still listening closely.

"_Roger, you have to get out of the house sometime," Mark said, coming back from another day of filming and seeing Roger lounged out on the couch, plucking his guitar listlessly, not really playing anything._

"_I left the house," Roger said._

"_Benny and Alison's wedding was two months ago," Mark laughed, as he sat on the couch next to Roger. He looked down at Roger. "How are you doing?"_

"_I'm fine, Mark, doesn't it look like it?" Roger answered._

"_I know you're better, Rog, but you're depressed and that's not good," Mark said. "Maybe you should start seeing a therapist or something?"_

"_Oh, sure, so now I'm not only an ex-junkie, I'm going insane," Roger snapped, getting up off the couch._

"_Roger, you know I didn't mean it like that," Mark said patiently. "I just mean maybe you need to talk to someone, get your feelings out, to have someone neutral to listen to you talk or something. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you to want help. Getting help means you're smart and you acknowledge that you need it."_

_Roger shook his head. "No, I'll be fine," he said. "I write to save my sanity. That's what my songs are. If only I would have some damn inspiration, one damn song, then I would be better."_

"_I still think you need to get out of the house, Rog," Mark said. "Come out filming with me sometime. You might like it."_

"_OK, Mark," Roger said, not really agreeing, more just to shut Mark up._

_Collins entered the loft at this moment. Mark and Roger were about to say hello, when they noticed he was upset and scared._

"_Collins, are you OK?" Mark asked. Collins shook his head._

"_No," he said, wiping his eyes. His voice shook. "Mark, Roger... I'm positive."_

_Mark and Roger's hearts sank. This news would destroy the philosopher. "Oh man, Collins, I'm so sorry," Roger said, going over to hug Collins._

"_No, don't be, Rog," Collins said, shaking his head. "I'm gay, there was always a chance. Plus, I can think of something else that might have done it."_

"_What?" Roger asked._

"_Remember the day Brian died?" Collins asked. Mark came over to him and hugged him as well. "They had to give me a blood transfusion because I had some internal bleeding. Back then, they didn't screen the blood first before giving it… I think my transfusion might have been positive. Some fucked up asshole gave blood when he knew he had HIV. Or maybe someone gave blood as a good deed, not knowing they had it? But how they couldn't have known, I don't know…"_

"_If they didn't know, it wasn't their fault, Collins," Mark said. "I'm so sorry. But look at you. I mean, you're upset now, but if you look at it, you're still healthy. You're gonna live with this for a long time, if I have my way, both you and Roger. I will do everything in my power to help you, OK?"_

"_Thanks, man," Collins said, smiling tearfully at him. He sighed. "I'm gonna go to sleep for a while, if that's OK?"_

"_Of course, Collins, the honorary couch is yours," Mark said, smiling sympathetically at him._

"_Thanks, man," Collins said, and he went to go to sleep on the couch for a few hours. But before he lay down to sleep on the couch, he said, "You know, I've been thinking about taking that job at MIT."_

"_You mean, leave New York? You? Never," Roger said._

"_Yeah, Rog," Collins said. "I mean, there's nothing for me here, really. I hate teaching those stupid kids at NYU. I want to go to MIT where there's promise of something for me, a job, a new life, find someone new to love, start over. I'm really thinking about it."_

"_Well, whatever you do that makes you happy, Collins, do it," Roger said. "Just come back and see us here in New York sometimes."_

"_Oh, I will, man," Collins said. "I definitely will. You two bums and Maureen can't take care of each other without me.__" Roger smiled; Collins smiled, too. _"_Keep looking at those pictures of Melanie and Brianna, Roger. They might not be inspiring you right now, but they might sometime and you'll need a pencil and paper when they do. Maybe Mark will stop filming ducks sometime, too. And hey, I'm thinking Greece…" He smiled and Roger went over and snuggled a blanket around him so he could sleep._

"_Sleep well, man," Roger said softly, and Collins went to sleep._

"Collins didn't deserve to become positive, Dad," Madeline said, tears sparkling in her eyes at the idea of her beloved uncle being positive.

"I know, kiddo, I know," Roger said, wiping his eyes as well as hers. "Collins took a couple weeks off and went to Greece on vacation by himself. He made some new European friends there and they ran naked through the Parthenon together and got themselves arrested. We had to send the bail money and the U.S. Embassy overseas to get him out." Roger smirked. "He got expelled for teaching them the theory of actual reality, so he came back home.

"Then the fateful day came when I met Mimi," Roger said, smiling. He looked weary, but his eyes were bright again.

_Roger looked up as he heard someone knock three times on the loft's sliding door. Mark had just left to go find Collins, who had vanished into thin air after they had thrown down the key for him to let himself in, on Christmas Eve, 1989. Roger went to answer the door, thinking it was Mark._

"_What'd you forget?" he asked, opening the door, expecting to see Mark, but instead seeing a pretty Latina standing there._

"_Got a light?" she asked, holding up a small, round taper candle._

"_I know you, you're..." Roger began, as she entered the loft. "You're shivering."_

"_It's nothing, they turned off my heat," she said, brushing him off. "And I'm just a little weak on my feet. Would you like my candle?" He put his jacket around her. "What are you staring at?"_

"_Nothing, your hair in the moonlight," Roger said. "You look familiar?" He took out a match and lit her candle and then she staggered back a step. He steadied her. "Can you make it?"_

"_Just haven't eaten much today, at least the room stopped spinning anyway," she said, walking around the loft. She noticed him staring at her again. "What?"_

"_Nothing, your smile reminded me…" Roger said._

"_I always remind people of— who is she?" she asked._

"_She died; her name was April," Roger said._

_She quickly blew out the candle and tried to make it look like it blew out itself. "It's out again," she said. She walked back over to him. "Sorry about your friend. Would you light my candle?"_

_Roger pulled out another match and lit it again, shaking the match so it stopped burning. "Well..." he said awkwardly._

"_Yeah?" she asked. Then the candle wax dripped on her finger. "Ow!"_

"_Oh, the wax," he said, holding her finger gently, "it's—"_

"— _dripping," she said, smiling coyly at him and bringing her hand between her breasts. "I like it between my—"_

_"— fingers," Roger said quickly, bringing her hands back up, "Heh, I figured. Oh well, good night."_

_He was trying to get her out of the building, because he liked her and this made him uncomfortable, but it wasn't working too well._

_She gave him his coat back. He watched her walk slowly back over to the sliding loft door, discreetly blowing out the candle in front of her as she went, so he didn't see, and then she knocked three times again and turned back around._

"_It blew out again?" Roger asked._

"_No, I think that I dropped my stash," she said, with her hands on her hips, pulling a searching look and glancing around the room._

"_I know I've seen you out and about when I used to go out," Roger said. "Your candle's out," he pointed out._

_She sighed, frustrated. "I'm illin', I had it when I walked in the door," she said, except she wasn't talking strictly about her candle. "It was pure! Is it on the floor?" She got down on the floor to look for her baggie of white powder._

"_The floor?" Roger asked, confused._

"_They say that I have the best ass below 14__th__ Street," She said, looking coyly over her shoulder at him. "Is it true?"_

"_What?" Roger asked, confused._

"_You're staring again," she said._

"_Oh no, I mean you do have a nice... I mean, you look familiar!" Roger blustered, trying to cover up his blunder._

"_Like your dead girlfriend," she said._

"_Only when you smile, but I'm sure I've seen you somewhere else," Roger said, getting down on the floor to help her look._

"_Do you go to the Cat Scratch Club? That's where I work. I dance. Help me look," she said._

_Then Roger realized where he'd seen her before. "Yes!" he said, pointing at her. "They used to tie you up."_

"_It's a living," she said, rolling her eyes._

"_I didn't recognize you without the handcuffs," Roger said._

"_We could light the candle," she said, standing up with him again. She held up the candle again. Roger pulled out another match and lit it. "Oh, won't you light the candle?"_

"_Why don't you forget that stuff? You look like you're sixteen," Roger said._

"_I'm nineteen," she said. "But I'm old for my age. I'm just born to be bad!"_

"_I once was born to be bad," Roger said. He noticed her shivering again. "I used to shiver like that."_

"_I have no heat, I told you," she retorted._

"_I used to sweat," Roger said._

"_I got a cold," she lied._

"_Uh huh, I used to be a junkie," Roger said, not convinced._

"_Now and then, I like to," she said._

"_Uh huh," Roger said, smirking._

"— _feel good," she said._

"_Oh, here," Roger said, spotting the baggie on the floor._

"_What's that?" she asked eagerly._

"_Uh— candy bar wrapper," Roger said, quickly sticking the baggie into his back pocket so she wouldn't see he had it._

"_We could light the candle," she said, moving closer to him. Roger put out the light with his fingers. "Oh, what'd you do to my candle?"_

"_That was my last match," Roger said innocently._

"_Our eyes will adjust, thank God for the moon," she said._

_Roger sat down in a chair. "Maybe it's not the moon at all? I hear Spike Lee is shooting down the street."_

"_Bah humbug. Bah humbug," she said. He sat in a chair and she began to play with his hands._

"_Cold hands," he whispered uncomfortably._

"_Yours, too," she said. "Big, like my father's." She pulled him out of his chair. "Do you want to dance?"_

"_With you?" Roger asked, as she started to dance with him._

"_No," she said sarcastically, "with my father." She twirled herself around once._

"_I'm Roger," Roger said._

"_They call me, they call me Mimi," she said, walking slowly around Roger, her mouth close to his shoulder. Then she pulled the small baggie of white powder out of his back pocket, shook it temptingly in front of his face, and then made a sexy exit, closing the door shut behind her._

"Wow, Mimi sounds really sweet," Madeline said.

"She was," Roger said. Madeline looked confused. "She died of a heroin overdose a couple years ago."

"I'm sorry, Dad," Madeline said.

"It's OK. I mean, it's easier now. She was in a lot of pain in those last few months of her life. She's happy now, she's with her best friend, Angel."

"Tell me more about Angel?" Madeline asked.

"Angel," Roger said, "well… oh man, Angel's hard to describe. She was flawless. I have not seen Collins as happy with anyone as he was with Angel. They were perfect together. I mean, Brian was with Collins at one point, too, but… Angel was amazing. I can't even begin to describe her."

"Her? But I thought you just said Angel was a he?" Madeline asked, confused.

"He was," Roger said. "Angel was a cross-dresser. He was a man, but dressed like a woman."

"Oh," Madeline said, "OK."

"Angel and Mimi both persuaded me to get out of the loft again and into real life," Roger said. "Angel persuaded me to go to a Life Support meeting and Mimi and I celebrated New Year's Day 1990, together."

"What's Life Support?" Madeline asked.

"Life Support is a support group mostly for people with AIDS," Roger said. "But it's not just AIDS-supportive; it's for coping with life, hence its name."

Madeline nodded. "Can I go with you to one sometime?" she asked.

Roger smiled and his heart swelled a little. "Of course, kiddo," he said. "I'd be honored. Thanks for asking."

Madeline smiled. "Is there anything else you want to tell me?" she asked.

Roger let out a yawn and leaned sleepily against Melanie's shoulder. "No, I don't think so," he said. "I think that's quite enough for one night for a twelve-year-old. Besides, you have school in the morning and it's past your bedtime."

"Oh, all right," Madeline said, rolling her eyes and smiling. She hugged both her parents, her mother more gently, and got off the bed.

"I love you, kiddo," Roger said to her.

"I love you, too, Dad. Sweet dreams, Mom, love you," Madeline said.

"Sweet dreams, sweetie. See you in the morning," Melanie said.

Madeline left the room and they both snuggled down to sleep.

* * *

"You have no idea how glad I am that Madeline doesn't hate me," Roger said.

"I know," Melanie said. "She's a good girl. She's loyal to your wishes and mine. She loves both of us enough not to freak out too much or hate us. And she knows I'm on medication to help prevent the baby from getting HIV. I mean, if the baby ends up with it, I don't know what I'll do, but…"

"Baby, don't say that," Roger said firmly. "Look, I know it'll be really hard, but if they have HIV, we'll deal with it. Look at Collins; he's lived with it for nearly 20 years."

Melanie nodded. "I'm just scared for her," she said.

"Her, huh?" Roger asked, smiling down at her. Melanie nodded again and smiled. "I know, baby, I am, too, but you know what? Tomorrow, we're seeing Doctor McBride again. She'll be able to tell us more."

Melanie nodded. "I hope so," she said. "I just hope she doesn't tell us what we don't want to hear."

"We'll find out in the morning, dear," Roger said, kissing the top of her head before they both fell asleep.

This is the end of chapter 12. This chapter was originally 28 pages long, so I split it into two. The chapter itself now is about 18 pages (according to my Microsoft Word), but I wouldn't want it to be any shorter. Everything in it is so important. I couldn't take any of it out. And there I go being a hypocrite; I swore off all rewriting of Rent, because we already have the play itself, the Rent Bible, and two movies, we don't need to see it rewritten _more_, because we aren't stupid and that's just boring, yet I just did it myself with LMC. But I needed to for Roger to tell Madeline the flashback. Anyway, next chapter will be Melanie's six-month ultrasound and a surprise. You can probably guess one. I am so excited to post up the next chapter. I know this one was really long, but please stick with me as I continue writing and typing up this story as quickly as I possibly can.

I'm a college freshman, remember, so I don't always have a lot of time to write and/or type. There are days, usually Tuesdays and Thursdays, when I only have one class in the morning, so I become lazy and devote my time to this story, instead of doing my homework. That's right, you guys are _that_ special, LOL. But I can't always do that, as much as I would like to.

As always, don't forget to review. I love feedback. I'll update soon.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	13. Simon and Leo

Now that the flashbacks are over, things will become happier again. It always seems to be that way, doesn't it? This chapter is happy, I promise. Enjoy.

"Hello, Melanie, Roger," Doctor McBride said, smiling at them as they entered the exam room. She noticed Melanie's large belly. "My, my, Melanie, you're doing well."

Melanie laughed. "I'm hoping you can tell me why, or if there's something wrong," she said. She wasn't sure whether she should be happy or nervous.

"Well, let's see what we see, shall we?" Doctor McBride said. She put the gel on Melanie's stomach and maneuvered the tool around. A concerned look came over her face and she said, "Oh my."

"What?" Melanie asked, hearing the arrhythmia heartbeat again. "Doctor McBride, I thought you said the arrhythmia would go away as the baby developed? I'm six months along, what's going on? Why is it still there?"

Roger held Melanie's hand tightly. "Melanie, calm down, it's OK. The reason you are still hearing the arrhythmia is it isn't an arrhythmia at all," Doctor McBride said.

"What? It isn't? What is it?" Melanie asked.

"You're hearing two heartbeats very close together. You're having twins," Doctor McBride said. She smiled as Melanie and Roger's mouths fell open. "Look at the screen, see? There's baby one and there's baby two."

"Oh," Melanie said, "oh my. Are you sure?"

"Positive," Doctor McBride said, smiling at her. "It is rare that the babies are so close together in the ultrasound that the ultrasound only catches one, but it does happen. I apologize for making this error. If I had seen the second baby, I would have told you a lot sooner."

"No, don't worry about it, as long as there's nothing wrong with them or me, it's totally fine," Melanie said, wiping her eyes. "This is wonderful news."

"It's marvelous," Roger said, leaning down and kissing Melanie. He looked at Doctor McBride. "Is there anything else we should know?"

"Well, I have to ask you, is there any family history of twins?" Doctor McBride asked.

Melanie racked her brains. "No, none at all," she said.

"Not with me, either," Roger said.

"OK. Well, Melanie, Roger, I am not saying this to scare you, but with twins, obviously room runs out quicker than what we would consider normal for a singleton. You are six months along by your twins' gestation, but by your stomach size, you are above seven and a half for a singleton's normal growth rate. Sooner or later, your body isn't going to be able to stretch anymore—"

"See, I told you I was a whale," Melanie said good-naturedly, rolling her eyes.

"— and it will think the twins are fully developed and ready to be born, so we should be prepared for a pre-term birth at any time."

Melanie's hand tightened around Roger's. "OK," she said. "When will the twins be safe outside the womb?"

"If we can get the twins to six weeks premature, that would be ideal. We will be prepared for anything, however, so even at the slightest pain, you give me a call. I am also putting you on bed rest in order to help with carrying the twins as long as possible."

Melanie groaned. That didn't sound like a fun way to spend the next eight weeks. But if it helped protect her babies, she was willing to do it.

"So keep taking your AZT, even after they are born, so the medication to protect them from the HIV gets in the breast milk," Doctor McBride said. "I'll see you again soon, in six weeks, I hope."

Melanie nodded. Then Doctor McBride saw them out.

_

* * *

_

_Six weeks later…_

"Melanie Elizabeth Davis, if I have to carry you to that couch one more time, I swear I will start belting out 'Sweet Transvestite'," Roger called after her, catching Melanie out of bed and on her feet for the nineteenth time. She always had an excuse. First she was hungry. Then she was thirsty. Then her back hurt. Then she had a headache, but she couldn't take any medication for it, for sake of the babies. She was tired from the lack of Mountain Dew and caffeine since finding out she was pregnant. Roger was by Melanie's side at every beckon and call, but he was getting just about as tired as she was from all the running around (in her case, inactivity.) She was just not staying put, no matter what he said, so this time he threatened to sing her least favorite song in the whole world from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show".

Roger was also stressed because he had postponed the release of the newly-finished album, _Rhyme and Reason_, because she needed him at home. Will, Declan, and Johnny weren't angry in the slightest, but Roger was anxious and frustrated about it. He knew, if the songs were good enough— which, in his and Larry's opinions, they were— if the album was good enough and sold well, they would be able to consider buying a house and would be able to move out of the flat. Roger had long ago moved downstairs to be with Melanie at all times, as was his duty as her husband, and Katie had taken his place upstairs with Mark. It was still strange to him to be living where Mimi had once inhabited, but he didn't say a word of this to Melanie.

Katie and Maureen and Collins and Sam were visiting daily now. With Benny living with Alison and Katie in Mark's room, Collins' and Roger's old bedrooms were free, so they stayed often for days at a time. Mrs. Schwartz had taken time off her job in Scarsdale to stay with Melanie and help out and Mr. and Mrs. Davis stayed almost every weekend and lent a hand. Once Melanie's maternity leave ran out at the beginning of June, someone would need to be there for Madeline, since she wouldn't be in school. They had worked out a system where Katie would still watch Madeline during the day, and all day Mondays, which she had off from the theatre (she would ask them if she wanted it off completely, though), along with Collins, who only tutored during the summer, and Maureen, who was (as expected) unemployed; Mark, who needed the best light during the day to film, Joanne, who had her day job being an attorney, and Melanie, who worked days at the courthouse, would watch Madeline at night.

"Roger, I have to pee," Melanie said, scowling at him. "These kids have stopped kicking me because they're out of room, and so is my bladder, so if you'll excuse me." She shoved past him and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

The flat was silent again and Roger heard Katie let out a giggle behind him. He scowled at her.

"What?" he snapped.

"Oh, nothing," she said innocently, "it's just funny watching the Raging Bitch on Crack in there." She laughed and grinned and waved animatedly at the camera (Mark was filming.)

"I heard that!" Melanie yelled from inside the bathroom.

Katie, Mark, Collins, and Sam laughed. Then their laughter faltered as Melanie screamed.

* * *

Melanie didn't even realize she had screamed until Katie, Roger, and Maureen burst into the bathroom. Melanie was standing in the middle of the floor with wet sweatpants and a puddle of water at her feet.

"OK, Melanie, stay calm," Katie said, "and remember to do those breathing methods you learned."

"It hurts so badly, Kate," Melanie cried, holding her stomach and crying.

"Don't worry, sweetie, everything will be OK soon," Katie assured her.

"Are you OK, baby?" Roger asked her.

"Do I _look _like I'm OK?" Melanie snapped at him.

"OK, stupid question," Roger said nervously, throwing his hands up in defense.

"Mark, go get Melanie's bag," Maureen said. Mark turned on his heel and ran out of the bathroom, to Roger and Melanie's room, and got her bag. He didn't come back into the bathroom, knowing he would just be in the way and they would be coming out in a few seconds.

"OK, Roger, let's get Melanie out of here," Katie said, taking control of the situation.

Roger nodded nervously and helped Katie help Melanie walk out of the bathroom. As they exited the bathroom, Melanie doubled over as another contraction hit her.

"Oh my God!" she yelled in pain.

"Melanie!" Roger yelled, trying to keep her from falling. Maureen saw a flash of fear in his eyes. She knew he was remembering Brianna's birth so many years ago and how much pain Melanie had been in back then, too, and how scared they both had been, and what had happened only a day after.

"She'll be fine, Roger," Katie assured him.

"Mark, hurry up!" Maureen yelled, and Mark was by them in a flash, the bag in his hands.

"Take that down and hail a cab," Katie said. "We'll get Melanie down the stairs."

Mark nodded and ran off with the suitcase. Collins looked at Katie.

"Think he'll be this nervous when you start having kids?" he asked.

"Oh, my God, he'll be so much worse!" Katie laughed. Collins grinned. He and Sam were both trying to stay out of the way. There wasn't much they could do to help at the moment.

A minute later, they were out the door. Roger and Melanie got into the back seat.

"Katie, can you—?" Melanie panted.

"— pick up Madeline from school," Katie finished for her, "yeah, of course. No problem. You just go have these boys!"

"I don't want to have them until you guys get there!" Melanie exclaimed, squeezing her eyes shut and breathing as another contraction hit her.

"You may not have much choice," Katie said. "We'll see you as soon as possible."

"OK," Melanie said, and the cab drove off.

* * *

"How far apart are her contractions?" Doctor McBride asked, as she met Melanie and Roger at the emergency entrance with a team of nurses and neonatal staff in place, ready to assist with the birth.

"About three and a half minutes," Roger said.

"OK. Melanie, how are you doing, sweetie?" Doctor McBride asked her.

"Do I have to answer?" Melanie panted, as she breathed through a contraction. Doctor McBride chuckled. Melanie tried to smile back, but was overcome by a grimace from the pain.

"Melanie, there's no time for an epidural, so I'm afraid this isn't gonna be much fun," Doctor McBride said sympathetically to her, as they moved Melanie into a private room. Melanie shrugged.

The moment Doctor McBride was finished checking Melanie's dilation, the door burst open, and Katie, Madeline, Mark, Collins, and Maureen ran over to Melanie.

"Oh, my God! Katie, Madeline!" Melanie cried happily, as her best friends and beloved daughter came rushing over to stand by her side. Melanie was overcome by a strong contraction. Katie took her other hand (Roger already had one.) Melanie gritted her teeth and breathed through it.

"This has to be the most packed delivery room I've ever seen," Doctor McBride said, laughing. The others laughed, too, even Melanie. "Are you comfortable with everyone here? It's not technically supposed to be this full— really, only Roger's allowed— but if it's what you want…"

"Yes. I wouldn't have it any other way," Melanie panted.

"Next contraction, I want you to push, OK? You're fully dilated and ready to go," Doctor McBride said.

Melanie nodded. "Says who?" she said.

Melanie bore down when the next contraction came. "Oh, my God, I forgot how much this frickin' _hurts_!" she said through gritted teeth.

"Keep pushing, Melanie, his head's almost out," Doctor McBride instructed her.

"His?" Melanie asked, shocked.

"Oh, I didn't tell you, did I? Push," Doctor McBride said, smiling, and Melanie did as she was told. "OK, take a little break. The baby's head is out. Don't push just now…" Doctor McBride suctioned the baby's mouth and nose and then Melanie pushed a little more and the baby's cries filled the air. Doctor McBride lifted the baby up for everyone to see, after Roger cut the cord. "Look."

"Oh," Katie said in surprise.

"Is that what I think it is?" Melanie asked, crying.

"Uh, if you're referring to Mr. Winkie, between the legs, then yes," Doctor McBride said, laughing as she had Roger cut the cord.

Roger could barely see through his tears of joy. "You mean, I got a boy?" he asked, his voice hoarse from crying.

She placed the baby on Melanie's chest for that first essential moment of bonding. Then, before Melanie wanted it to happen, the baby was taken to be cleaned up, weighed, and measured. But she didn't have to be without her precious child for long, as he was brought back a few minutes later, wrapped in a blanket with a cap to keep warm. Maureen, tears streaming down her pretty face, held him, as she was the only one with free hands. Collins was sobbing with joy too hard to hold the baby at the moment.

"He's so beautiful, Melanie," Maureen said to her. "What's his name?"

But Melanie didn't answer her. Instead, she noticed Mark filming the birth, and as another contraction started, she yelled at him, "Mark, if you continue to film my va-jay-jay, I swear that camera is going straight up your—"

But she couldn't finish. The contraction was too much to speak through.

"Push, Melanie!" Doctor McBride said to her.

Melanie did as she was told. A few minutes later, the Davis family was complete.

"Another boy, Roger," Doctor McBride said to him, giving him a sympathetic look as he cut the cord a second time. She knew he had been hoping for two girls, or at least one. Then the second baby was taken to be cleaned up, weighed, measured, and clothed.

"Baby 1 is six pounds and eighteen inches long, baby 2 is five-and-a-half and seventeen inches long," the nurse reported to Doctor McBride and Melanie and Roger.

"Congratulations, you two," Doctor McBride said. "You've got a lot on your hands. The babies are perfectly healthy."

Melanie was ecstatic. She turned, beaming, to Madeline and asked, "So, Maddy, are you totally traumatized for life?"

"No, Mom, that was totally cool," Madeline said. "I mean, it was intense and scary and wild and loud, but God, you're really strong! And now it's all over, how anticlimactic."

"Ah, it was nothing," Melanie said modestly, waving her hand around.

"Didn't sound like nothing," Mark teased. Melanie wanted to throw something at him, but nothing was within range. But she was smiling.

"I'm glad it's over," Melanie said. "My boys are here. My whole family is here and it's done. What a crazy day."

"You're telling me," Roger said. And without another word, he collapsed in a chair and went to sleep.

Melanie smiled. Roger always went right to sleep when he was stressed. It was his way of dealing with it.

"You should get some sleep, while you can," Collins said. "We'll take Maddy home. We'll bug you two about names in the morning."

"OK," Melanie said, "we'll call you when we're both up. Good night, Collins."

"Good night, Baby girl," Collins said, "and congratulations."

"Thanks, sweetie," Melanie said. And after everyone left, she settled down to sleep while she could.

* * *

The next morning, everyone showed up at the hospital around 9. Melanie had been up since 7:30. The twins had woken up about every three hours all night, so she was tired, but doing all right. She smiled as Maureen, Collins, Sam, Mark, Katie, and Madeline walked through the door.

"Hey, gang," Melanie said. "If you have waited until noon, I could have met you at home. They're kicking me out at noon."

"How are you doing?" Katie asked her.

"I'm a little tired, but that's only going to get worse, especially once Roger goes on tour in four months," Melanie said.

"We'll help in any way we can," Katie said. "I mean, when I'm not at the Gershwin, I'll drop everything, if you need me. I'm always here for you."

"Thanks, Katie," Melanie said, smiling appreciatively at her best friend.

"And I'm available twenty-four/seven if you need help, Mel," Maureen said.

"Of course you are, Maureen, because you're too busy thinking up new protests to get a real _job_," Melanie teased her.

Maureen laughed. "Got it in one," she said, unabashed.

"I'm really glad for all the help, you guys," Melanie said. "I really am. Thank you."

They all smiled at her. There was no need for words. Then Collins spoke up. "So, Melanie, what are their names?" he asked.

Melanie looked up at Roger, hoping for approval. She hadn't mentioned her ideas for names to him. She had kept them completely under wraps her entire pregnancy, in case something bad had happened. But since nothing had, it was time for the names to be revealed.

"Simon Angelis and Leo Collins," she said, looking at Roger, who nodded his approval.

Then she looked back at the great philosopher, who had tears streaming down his cheeks. "Thank you, Melanie," he said softly. "Those are the most beautiful names."

Melanie smiled. "Of course, Collins," she said. "I had to honor you and Angel; and if we have more kids, more namesakes. But"— she put a hand on her stomach— "not for a while, if at all. I'm quite content with three."

Collins smiled. "I never would have thought you'd be married to Davis and have three kids," he said.

"We did," everyone else in the room, even Katie, answered. Collins laughed.

So this is it. The twins are finally here. Welcome, Simon and Leo! You guys have no idea how excited I am to finally have them here. My plans were to have them here, and then have Roger go on tour sometime and then come back with a surprise. I'm not telling you what that surprise is in this author note, so you'll have to stay tuned! I'll update again as soon as possible. Chapter 14 only needs to be finalized and then it will be posted. Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review!!

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	14. Going Gold

I'm not particularly fond of the silly title to the chapter, but oh well, such is life. You gotta have one bad chapter title in a story sometimes. Here is chapter 14. Enjoy.

_Three weeks later…_

Sam was in his office, working on his performance report, when he heard a knock on the door. He looked up. It was Collins.

"Hey," he said, smiling at Collins.

"Hey," Collins said softly, smiling back at Sam. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," Sam said. "I'm just working on my performance report at the moment, since Katie took the night off. Then we can go. I've already checked the dressing rooms and put the props away."

"OK," Collins said. "I was hoping I could take you somewhere tonight. I know it's late, but... we could go ice-skating or something?"

Sam smiled at the idea. "But Collins, the rink closed, like, three hours ago."

"Well, let's just say I paid the manager $100 extra to keep it open past midnight tonight for us," Collins said, smiling at him.

Sam laughed. "Honey, that's so sweet. Thank you," he said, smiling at Collins. "I'll get my things done as quickly as I can and then I'll meet you at the back doors to close."

"Sounds good," Sam said, and he went back to what he was doing. He had to force himself to concentrate, so he could do his job well; it was hard, however, because he wanted to go spend time with Collins.

Twenty minutes later, when he was finished, Sam met Collins at the door.

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting," he said softly, looking up at Collins, who was a few inches taller than he was. Sam was six-foot, but Collins was taller.

"Don't worry about it, I'm glad you're here," Collins said quietly, leaning down to kiss Sam.

Sam's heart started pounding and he returned the kiss and deepened it. He brought his arms up and wrapped them around Collins' neck. Collins laced his fingers through Sam's blonde hair. Then they parted and put their arms around each other, leaning their heads together, and left the theatre after locking it.

Ten minutes later, they arrived at the ice-skating rink. "Thanks," Collins said, smiling at the manager, who nodded and smiled back at him. "I know it's probably a pain to keep it open just for us. I'm glad you could trust us enough to wait."

"It's no problem," the manager said. "Take your time. Just come get me in my office when you're ready."

"OK, thank you," Collins said, smiling at him. Collins figured the only reason the manager wasn't complaining— and that he had obliged at all— was because he was well-paid for it. Collins didn't mention this to Sam, however. He turned his attention back to Sam. "Are you ready?"

But Sam suddenly looked nervous.

"Baby, what is it?" Collins asked him, his arm still around Sam's back.

"I've never skated before, Collins," Sam admitted.

"You haven't?" Collins asked him.

"Not in my life, not a stride," Sam said, shaking his head.

"Do you want me to teach you?" Collins asked. "We can't do this if you don't know how."

"Sure, Mr. Philosophy," Sam said, smiling at him.

They put on their skates, Collins helping Sam to tighten his. "Why does it have to be so tight?" Sam asked.

"If you skate on loose skates, you'll get sore ankles really fast," Collins said, "or you might get hurt. But if they're too tight, you'll lose circulation. Are they too tight, honey? They should be snug, not tight."

"No, they're just fine," Sam said, struggling to stand up. Collins stood up, already laced up in his skates, and helped him. "Thank you. I'm sorry I'm so bad at this."

"It's not a problem," Collins assured him. He smiled. "I'm glad I can teach you."

Sam smiled. "I'm glad you can teach me, too," he said.

They walked over on their skates to the rink and Collins helped Sam onto the ice. The big sheet of ice was surrounded by a large bar to hold onto and viewing glass. Sam held tightly onto the bar as Collins stepped onto the ice.

"Take my hand," Collins said. Sam wouldn't take his hands from the bar. "Sweetie, you trust me, don't you?" Sam nodded, although he was shaking with nervousness. "It's OK, you can let go."

Slowly, tentatively, Sam let go of the bar and placed his hand into Collins' hand instead.

"Good," Collins said quietly. "Now, it's just like walking, except you don't walk, you… glide. And it will be slippery, but just don't let go of my hand. I won't let you fall."

For the first few strides, Sam was very nervous and wobbly and shaking. But as Collins guided him around the rink, he quickly became more steady and fluid in his motions. He took a deep breath and relaxed. Collins slowly moved from behind him to beside him. They skated together, hand-in-hand, around the rink a few more times. Then Collins moved his hand from Sam's waist to Sam's hand.

"Collins," Sam said nervously, no longer feeling Collins' touch.

"It's OK, sweetie, I'm right here," Collins said softly from beside him, caressing Sam's hand with his fingers.

Sam smiled and relaxed more, and they continued around the rink.

"Want to race?" Collins asked him, after they had gone around the circle a couple more times.

"Not a chance," Sam said, laughing. He smiled at Collins. "I want to stay right here with you."

"I'm down with that," Collins said, smiling.

He moved back to behind Sam. Careful not to unbalance him, Collins rested his chin on Sam's shoulder and wrapped his arms around Sam's waist and held him close, propelling them forward on his skates. Sam stood still so they wouldn't fall. He leaned back against him, very much in love. He felt warm and sleepy and content and very happy. He turned his head back to face Collins for a warm, gentle kiss.

They rounded the corner before parting. Neither was steering now. Suddenly, Sam's knees wobbled and he and Collins yelled and went crashing down on the ice, Collins beneath Sam, both of them laughing.

"Are you OK, honey?" Collins asked Sam, concerned, laughing at the same time.

"I've never been better," Sam said, laughing as well. He grinned at Collins. "Let's do that again."

They both lay there for a moment, laughing. Collins began to play with Sam's blonde hair again, his back freezing cold. Then they got up.

"Honey, can I ask you something?" Collins asked, as he helped Sam to his feet.

Once he had regained his footing, Sam took Collins' hand. "Of course," he said.

They strode together back over to the door and Collins helped Sam out of the rink onto solid ground. They walked over to a bench and took their skates off.

"When are you going to tell our Boho family about us?" Collins asked. "I mean, Katie probably knows, but that's because she basically brought us together."

Sam nodded. "Something I thank God every day for," he said softly.

"So, look at it this way, if we can be open about each other in front of that manager I paid to keep this rink open, we can definitely be open about each other and our relationship with our Boho family," Collins said. "I know you're nervous because I'm your first real relationship, but you're not mine. There was Brian, then Angel, and now you. They won't be shocked that I'm with you because they know I choose my partners carefully. I don't sleep around. I make sure I really have something good with whoever I'm with before telling the Bohos what's going on. That doesn't mean I don't trust you, though. But do you understand what I'm trying to say?

"I figured out who I was in early high school and embraced it in college. Then I met Angel and things really got serious. I want to have that good of things with you, too, and for them to see that. But of course, I won't push you, because I don't want you to feel pressured. I want us to be completely comfortable with each other in all aspects, concerning our Boho family or not concerning them. I don't want to be your secret lover."

"I know, Collins, and I'm sorry," Sam said. "I promise I will let you know when you can tell them. As soon as I'm comfortable, you can."

"OK, sweetie, that's all I'm asking," Collins said, smiling at him. "Thank you for coming with me tonight. I love you."

"You're welcome. I love you, too," Sam said, and he leaned in for another kiss.

_

* * *

_

Four months later…

"But why do you have to go on tour, Dad?" Madeline asked her father, standing and watching him as he packed his suitcase one night in June.

"Because, sweetie, your mom's maternity leave and my paternity leave has run out; she has to go back to work and the band can't very well promote the new CD without me," Roger said, as he packed a suitcase. "I've temporarily left my job at the Life Café to do this, although the manager told me I'm welcome back immediately once I get done with the tour. They just have someone covering for me right now, which isn't very easy for them to do. If I could promote it while staying at home, trust me, I would jump on the chance. But I can't. I have to go, at least for a while." He lifted her chin with his finger. "Think of it as me going to summer camp. Your mom told me you went to summer camp last year. That's basically what I'm doing."

"Except you're singing and playing the guitar to thousands of people, and I was doing crafts and riding horse and swimming and playing volleyball and everything," Madeline said.

"Exactly," Roger said. "See, it won't be so bad? You're a smart girl. You'll be fine."

"OK, Dad, I get it," Madeline said. She hugged him. "I'm just going to miss you so much."

"I'm going to miss you, too, my sweet girl," Roger said, hugging her tightly. He kissed her on the top of her head. She was already nearly up to his shoulders in height. She was going to be a tall young lady. "Help your mom out as much as you can, OK? Watch over your little brothers for me. Katie and Mark and everyone else are going to help out as much as they can. I'll call every night."

"I will, Dad. OK," Madeline said. Roger wiped away her tears with his thumb.

* * *

"Roger, I'm so glad you're home!" Melanie called out, as Roger entered the apartment, returning eight weeks later.

"So am I, baby, I've missed you so much," Roger said, putting down his bags so he could hug her. He kissed her over and over again. She had been working hard at losing weight, and had also been stressed out, in his absence. He had been gone only eight weeks and she had already lost almost all her baby weight. She was now curvy, comfortably so to him. He liked the sight. "Hey, you are looking great."

"Thanks, baby," Melanie said, smiling happily. "I've been working hard at losing the weight, and it's been stressful. But never mind that— how was the tour?"

"It was great, but nothing compared to my homecoming," Roger said, smiling at her.

"Well, I felt incomplete without you here," Melanie said. "It was like a piece of me was missing. The boys have been so good, though. They almost never cry, or when they do, it's nothing I can't handle. They have been such good little boys. When they are fed, clothed, changed, they're just happy as clams."

"I'm glad they were good to you," Roger said, kissing her again. "That's my boys. How has Madeline been?"

"Great," Melanie said. "When you left, she cried for a week, though. But she's OK now. She took a couple days off from school after you left, because she was stressed and missed you so bad, but then I said she had to go back and resume normal life. She's hanging out with Katie and Maureen in the city today. I haven't seen them all day. I don't know what they're up to."

"Do we want to know?" Roger asked, laughing.

"Maybe not," Melanie said. She noticed the beaming look on his face. "You look so happy about something. Do you know something I don't know?"

"I do, actually," Roger said. He grinned at her. "I have great news. Our CD went gold!"

"Oh, Roger, that's wonderful!" Melanie said, and she jumped into his arms and kissed him deeply. Roger lay down on their couch with her on top of him. Melanie smiled. "I'm so happy for you."

"I'm thrilled," Roger said. "I mean, I knew my songs were good, but jeez, I didn't think our fan girls would go _this_ crazy over them."

"Did they treat you OK?" Melanie asked him. "I mean, they didn't, like, mob you or anything, did they?"

"Yeah, they did, baby, it was nuts, but that's how it is. We all enjoyed it," Roger said, as he lay there with her on the couch. "You know how much I love the limelight. But I only have eyes for you."

"Yeah, of course," Melanie said.

"In the meantime, I need to call Austin and tell him I'm back in town, so I can work again until our tour restarts."

"Or I know something else we could do that would be much more interesting," Melanie said slyly, giving him a seductive stare.

Roger laughed and allowed her to drag him to their bedroom. They lay down on the bed and made love. Only when the boys began to cry did they get up.

"I bet they're hungry," Melanie said. "I've been trying to get them on a schedule that fits with when I eat and stuff. I know I'm starving."

"I could make us something," Roger suggested. "Since Katie and Maureen have kidnapped Madeline, it would just be us."

"Sure," Melanie said, "how about egg salad sandwiches, can you make those? It would be something new I haven't had in months."

"I can, actually, that's one of my dad's rare specialties," Roger said, smiling at her. "You feed the boys and I'll make dinner. Then we can eat together, have a little date."

Melanie smiled. "I love that idea," she said. Then she went to go feed Simon and Leo before having dinner herself with Roger.

* * *

"Daddy, you're home!" Madeline yelled, as she ran into the house, laden with shopping bags, Maureen and Katie behind her. She put them down carefully, then bolted over to her father to hug him.

"Hiya, kiddo," Roger said, grunting as she plowed into him with a huge hug. "Yep, I'm home for a while. I missed you." He kissed the top of her head.

"I missed you, too," Madeline said, smiling up at him.

"Hey, last time I saw you, you were this big," Roger said, holding his hand a few inches above her head. "You're shrinking."

"Daddy, you know I'm growing," Madeline laughed.

"Oh yeah, I forgot, you have to grow up sometime, don't you?" Roger laughed. "How has school been?"

"Good," Madeline said. "It's been quiet around here without you, though." She looked up at him. "Remember, Dad, you said you were gonna write me a song. Did you think of one while you were on tour?"

"As a matter of fact, I thought of it long before the tour, squirt," Roger said. "It's on our album— which, by the way, everybody," he added to her and the rest of the room, "went gold!"

"Wow!" everyone exclaimed, thrilled at the news.

"Congratulations, Roger," Joanne said.

"Roger, that's so exciting!" Katie squealed.

"This calls for a celebration!" Collins and Maureen shouted together. They looked at each other and laughed.

"Collins, you always want to drink stoli and toast," Melanie said, laughing at him.

"Well, why not? Come on, we haven't harassed the Life Café staff in ages," Collins said. "Especially now that Roger's going back to work there for a while, we should be able to eat free, which might just piss them off enough."

Melanie laughed. "Well, OK," she said, "let's just go see, shall we? I'll get the Snuggles and we'll meet you guys at the door."

The Snuggles were baby carriers that were made entirely of cloth, that swaddled the infants, and enabled Melanie and Roger to have their hands free, but one twin was snuggled close to either of them in the little carrier in front. They had been a small gift from Alison. She had had them custom-made for each twin. Melanie figured she had sent them in order to make up with Roger for how Benny had treated him all those years. But no matter why Alison sent them, Melanie appreciated them all the same.

"OK," Collins said, looking excited. "I'm glad you're back, Rog, it's like old times."

Roger smiled.

Melanie and Roger went and got the Snuggles and put one twin in each. Then they met Collins and the others at the door and went to the Life Café to celebrate Roger's successful return.

* * *

"All right, now that everyone is here, I get the honors of making the toast," Collins said, standing up, at the party at the Life Café, a little while later. "Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Of course not, Collins," Melanie said, laughing.

"First, to Melanie and Roger, who rekindled their love for each other after many years," Collin said. "Now they're married and have three kids together. Of course, we all knew that would happen. What more could we ask for?"

"Melanie and Roger," everyone said, raising their glasses of champagne (and, in Madeline's case, apple juice), exchanging cheers, and drinking a sip.

"Second, to Katie Campbell, now Katie Cohen, who brought flare and fire back into Mark's life, and is often the reason he gets out of the loft and away from his films, more than likely for reasons we might not want to hear about, especially around the kids," Collins said, laughing, "to your new life together and new life ahead."

Katie blushed and smiled at Mark and exchanged cheers with him, as the others said, "To Katie."

"And finally," Collins said, "to the very special someone in my life, with whom I'm very much in love, Sam Jacobs." Collins indicated to Sam, who blushed and smiled. "To Sam."

"To Sam," everyone said, raising their glasses, exchanging cheers, and drained the rest of their champagne.

"OK, now we need wine and beer!" Maureen exclaimed excitedly.

"No, Maureen, not tonight. Down, girl," Melanie said to her. "There are kids present, remember."

"Oh, darn," Maureen said, looking crestfallen. Melanie grinned.

Melanie pulled Collins aside a little later into the party. "I'm so glad you and Sam are so happy together," she said. "I'm glad you told everyone when you did. I mean, I had a hunch back then, but I didn't want to ask you, in case you weren't ready. I knew you would tell us about any new someone when you were ready."

"Thanks, Baby girl," Collins said, smiling and hugging her. "I wanted to make sure I was really happy with Sam first, before I told you guys, in case something… something happened. And now I'm just making it permanent."

Melanie nodded. She knew he still remembered the day Brian died clear as day. "I understand completely," she said.

Melanie called the party to a halt when Simon and Leo started to fuss, because they were overtired.

"Sorry, everybody, but the kids do need their sleep," she said to everyone in the room. "All right, ma'am, it is summertime, so you can stay up late, but it's on your own head if you're tired at softball tomorrow and can't hit a home run," she added to Madeline, who had been protesting being sent off to bed uncharacteristically early in summer. Madeline rolled her eyes.

"Hey, everybody, listen up. Why don't we all stay in our flat tonight?" Roger asked. "I mean, it's not quite the loft and it'll be crowded, but we can't very well move the cribs up here just for one night, so it'd be more convenient for us downstairs. We can all get blankets and pillows and stuff and make room. It'll be like old times."

"I'm in," Collins said immediately.

"So am I," Maureen said. "I'll go back with Joanne and get some blankets and pillows. She has a ton."

"More like you do, Mo," Collins teased. "I do, too, so I'll be back soon."

Maureen, Joanne, and Collins turned around and headed out of the loft. They stayed up most of the night, talking about the old times and wondering how Benny and Alison were now, and if Benny had come around or not. Madeline did eventually decide to give into her exhaustion and she went off to bed.

Collins pulled two armchairs together and slept on them. Sam lay on a bed of blankets and pillows beside him on the floor. Maureen and Joanne made a makeshift bed of blankets and pillows on the floor and slept there. It was quite crowded, but very cozy. It was the first time four of the five original loft-dwellers had slept in the loft building together in years, and it wouldn't be the last.

This is the end of chapter 14. I hope you guys enjoyed it. There will be more Sam and Collins to come. I hope you are enjoying their relationship, too. I know I am (but I am the author, so hey, LOL.) It makes me feel very happy and warm and fuzzy inside to write them. :) I don't know why a lot of Rentheads are so against Collins being with someone, pre- or post-Rent, besides Angel, because if he's happy, he's happy, in my opinion, no matter who it's with; and Angel would have wanted him to move on, not spend his time dwelling on her death and moping around and being sad and depressed and everything. I mean, right? I think that's a good philosophy on that.

From here on out, time may skip significantly. I will do my best to make sure you readers know where we are in time, especially as to how old everyone is (Madeline, the twins, etc.), so you guys don't get confused. I really want to get to a certain point in the story, and I can only get there by skipping a lot of time in few postings. I would guess Brianna is due to come back in a chapter or two. I'm trying my best to get there. I don't mean to be keeping you guys on edge about that, I'm honestly not meaning to keep telling you about it and then not doing it; it's just not falling into place yet. But it will. You'll see.

As always, don't forget to review. I love feedback. Thanks.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	15. Sophia and Bennett

I probably should have mentioned in the previous chapter that the twins were five months old when they had the party at the Life Café at the end of the chapter. When this chapter starts, they are nine months old. They have their HIV antibody tests when they are one year old. I wanted to make sure you readers are clear on that. I apologize for not being clear about it in the previous chapter. Most of the chapter is Mark-Katie centric. Just so you know, even though it is not written out, Melanie, Roger, Madeline, and the twins have all moved into a four-bedroom house in Manhattan. But I don't feel like writing that, so I'm just going to let you readers know that's what has happened and that's that. Enjoy chapter 15, written almost to originality (recovered by memory from what was stored on my flash drive, Francesca, who died sadly two days ago.) Enjoy.

Mark turned off his camera from where he had been filming a few seconds of Katie sleeping. One hand rested on her stomach, the other up by her face. She hadn't been feeling well for a few weeks, although she had still gone to work. He glanced at the clock. It was five minutes to five. If he dared wake her up, she wasn't going to be happy when she found out she had less than an hour to get ready and be at the theatre.

He dared. Mark went over and gently shook her shoulder. She awoke with a start.

"Shh, Katie, it's just me," he said softly. "I know you haven't been feeling well lately, but I figured I'd wake you up anyway. I wasn't sure if you were planning on going into work tonight?"

"Yes, I am," Katie said. "Why, what time is it?"

_Here we go_, Mark thought, dreading that he had to tell her. "It's five minutes to five."

Katie bolted upright. "Oh no," she said, "I have less than an hour to get ready and be at the theatre! Why didn't you wake me up sooner? I need to get going."

Mark chose to ignore the fact that she was blaming him for her being late. Mark grabbed her by her shoulders as she tried to get up. "Hey, no, wait," he said, "you've been sleeping like a rock on the infamously uncomfortable, lumpy couch since when you got home from work last night. I figured at first you were just tired and needed some catch-up, but now I'm concerned. You've been sleeping an awful lot. Are you getting sick, honey?"

"No, Mark, I'm fine," Katie insisted, pushing his hand away. "Now stop worrying. You're going to make me late. I have to get up and get going."

Katie stood up, walked past Mark, and went into the bathroom. A few minutes later, Mark heard the shower turn on full-blast. Fifteen minutes later, Katie came out, already dressed, and left after bidding Mark a quick "See you later".

Mark, still not convinced she was OK, went to go work on one of his longer films. He would have a few hours to work on it before she got home. He picked out the real titled 'Roger's Return to Glory', clips of Melanie after her return to the city, and set to work.

* * *

He worked on it in pieces and was on the part that was Roger and Melanie's wedding, when the phone rang. Mark, as was tradition, waited for the answering machine to pick up the call.

"Mark, it's Sam. It's urgent, so quit screening your calls and pick up the phone!"

"Sorry, Sam," Mark said into the phone, after hurriedly picking it up. "What's so urgent?"

"Ten minutes ago, Katie passed out here at the theatre. She's been taken to Bellevue. Can you meet us there?"

"Dammit! Of course," Mark said. "Give me ten minutes."

"OK, see you soon," Sam said, and he hung up.

Mark hung up the phone and rushed over to grab his coat. Then he hailed a cab and went to the hospital.

* * *

"Katie Cohen, please," Mark said to the receptionist at the admissions desk.

"Room 112," she said to him.

"Thank you," Mark said, and he rushed to the room. Sam was sitting on the floor outside the room. This caused Mark's worry to spike. "Sam?"

Sam looked around at the voice and stood up. "She's all right," he said. "They said she's just exhausted and needs rest. I was talking to her a bit ago, but she said she was just resting her eyes and then she fell asleep. You should go in and see her. She'll be mad if she finds out you were here and you didn't."

Mark nodded. "OK," he said, and he went into the room. He pulled up a chair next to Katie's bed. Katie stirred. "Katie, honey, it's Mark."

Katie opened her eyes and looked at him. "Hi," she said.

"How are you feeling?" Mark asked.

"Tired," Katie said. "I'm sorry, Mark, I should have listened to you." She was alarmed to see tears sparkling in his eyes. "You're crying."

"Yeah, well, I thought you were…" Mark whispered, then lost his voice completely. He leaned down and embraced Katie gently.

They looked around as the door opened, and Melanie, Roger, Collins, Maureen, Joanne, and Sam walked into the room. Melanie had Simon in her arms and Roger had Leo. Although fraternal, the twins still looked almost identical at six months old. It would be another year or so before they started to look different.

Everyone looked relieved to see that Katie was awake.

"How are you doing, Katie?" Melanie asked. Her eyes were red. Katie guessed that she had been crying from panicking at hearing the news about Katie from Sam.

"I'm OK. I'm just tired," Katie said. "A few days of rest and I should be fine. I have exciting news for y'all— especially you, Mark."

"What?" they asked together.

"Doctor Chase said I'm pregnant," Katie answered.

"What? No way, that's awesome!" everyone in the room said.

"That's brilliant, Katie. How far along are you?" Mark asked.

"About six weeks," Katie said. "And it gets better— she said it is two sacs, twins!"

"Oh, my God, that's great news," Mark said. He leaned down and kissed her. "That's so amazing, seriously. I'm so excited. I'm glad you're OK. So is that why you passed out?"

"I would guess so," Katie said. "I just need a few days' rest, that's all. Then life can get back to normal."

"Well, then, my dear, you will get it," Mark said. "Especially since you should have listened to me in the first place and slowed down."

Katie nodded and looked into Mark's baby-blue eyes. He was not blaming her, but she knew he was right. She should slow down, for the sake of the baby. But if she was fine, why couldn't she just go back to work like normal expectant mothers? This frustrated her.

"I'm sorry, Katie, but I have to get going back to the theatre," Sam said. "I just wanted to be late so I could make sure Mark was here and that he knew you were OK. I'll come back tomorrow, OK?"

"OK, Sam, no worries," Katie said, smiling at him. "Thanks for being here. And thanks for letting Mark know."

"Of course," Sam said, nodding, and then he left.

"So, Mark, three trimesters, nine months, a new problem with every trimester," Roger teased him.

Mark rolled his eyes. "Shut up," he said, "her first trimester's almost over."

"Sure it is," Roger and Collins said, laughing.

* * *

"Roger, Melanie, I'm glad to see you, because I have good news," Doctor McBride said, looking at them.

"What?" Roger and Melanie asked together, as they sat in chairs in Doctor McBride's office, with a twin in each of their arms, waiting for the results of the boys' HIV antibody tests.

"The boys' HIV antibody tests came back and they are negative," Doctor McBride said, smiling at them. "They are both perfectly healthy. Congratulations."

Roger and Melanie cheered and hugged each other happily, tears cascading down their faces. "That's such great news, Doctor McBride," Roger said.

"Yeah, thank you, Doctor," Melanie said. "We couldn't have done it without you."

"I'm happy to have helped," Doctor McBride said. "These are the days when we doctors truly feel we've done something right. You two are free to go. I have nothing more to say." She smiled at them.

"Thank you again, Doctor," Roger said, shaking her hand and smiling as he left with Melanie. "Oh, my God, this totally deserves a celebration!"

"It does," Melanie said. "Maureen's going to be bad."

"Yeah, she is," Roger said, smiling.

* * *

"Mark called me!" Katie squealed, as she burst into the Life Café, ten minutes later, as the celebration began. "I'm so fucking stoked for you!"

Melanie grinned and hugged Katie. "Thanks, Kate," she said, smiling. "I am so relieved they are negative, you can't even imagine."

"I bet I can't," Katie said. "Y'all deserve it."

Melanie smiled and looked over Katie's shoulder, as Collins and Sam arrived.

"Baby girl, I'm so happy for you!" Collins said happily, hugging her tightly.

"Really, Melanie, this is such great news," Sam said, smiling at her.

"I feel very blessed," Melanie said, smiling at them both. "Maureen isn't here yet. I bet you two will have to pry her off me."

No sooner had Melanie said that, Maureen came bouncing into the café. "Melanie, that's so amazing! Congratulations!" she squealed.

"Thanks, Mo," Melanie said, smiling. "I'm very happy about it."

"You should be," Maureen said. "It's the best news ever."

"It is, Mo," Melanie said, smiling at her.

* * *

"Katie, what are you doing?" Mark asked, finding Katie in the loft's kitchen a couple weeks later, in the middle of the night.

"I'm hungry," Katie said. "You have, like, no food in the fridge."

"Sweetie, you know I only get groceries once a week, if I can help it," Mark said.

"Why?" Katie asked.

"I don't do grocery stores well, none of us do," Mark said.

"Well, what if I went with you?" Katie asked.

"Well, then maybe I could be persuaded, but I dunno," Mark said, smiling at her.

"So let's go, right now," Katie said. "There are hundreds of grocery stores in NYC that are open twenty-four/seven. And I'm hungry now."

Mark rolled his eyes and laughed. "All right," he said, "we'll go now. But then you need to get some sleep."

Katie nodded and left to go to the grocery store with Mark.

* * *

"I want kettle chips! Wait, I want Dove chocolate! No, I want Fudgesickles! Then again, sugar cookies!" Katie said, at the grocery store ten minutes later.

Mark placed his hand over her mouth and she stopped talking. "Honey, you sound like a four-year-old," he said gently.

"I know," Katie said, pouting, "but I can't make up my mind!"

"Why don't you let me pick?" Mark asked her.

"No, because then I'll want something else!" Katie said.

"Are you sure?" Mark asked.

"Um… you had better get almond M&M's, too, just in case I don't want chips," Katie said.

"OK, Your Majesty, is there anything else you want?" Mark asked her, looking down at her.

"Peanut butter sandwich," Katie exclaimed.

"OK, so we need to go get bread and peanut butter— white or wheat, dear?" Mark asked, trying not to lose his patience. Part of him thought she was adorable, the other half really wanted to get out of the supermarket and back home to the loft.

"White," Katie said.

"OK," Mark said. "Are you ready to go now?"

"Yeah, I'm ready to go back home and enjoy my midnight craving," Katie said, laughing.

Mark chuckled and paid for the food, then they went back to the loft.

_

* * *

_

Six months later...

During "One Short Day", Katie felt an uncomfortable sensation in her stomach. She had had shrimp and kettle chips for lunch, so she figured it had just been bad shrimp. She ignored it and went back to what she as doing. It soon went away.

As "One Short Day" ended and "A Sentimental Man" began, Katie noticed the sensation again. She thought now it was Braxton-Hicks contractions, but as they were not actual contractions, she was not worried.

Just as Elphaba and Glinda were beginning to fight onstage at the beginning of "Defying Gravity", Katie barely bit back a scream. She knew this was a contraction and that she really was in labor.

She breathed through it and then radioed to Todd, her assistant stage manager. "Todd," she said, "you gotta get up here. I've gone into labor."

"Oh man," Todd said. "Hang in there, Katie. I'm on my way up." He quickly came up into the light booth. "How're you doing, Katie?"

"I think I've had better days," Katie said, attempting a smile, but it was overcome by a wince from the pain.

"Let's get you down, shall we?" Todd said. "And we can call Mark."

Katie nodded. Todd helped her out of the light booth as quickly as possible. She was thankful her water hadn't broken yet, but she didn't know how long it was going to hold out. She flipped out her cell phone as Todd led her to the back entrance of the theatre and hit speed dial 1.

"Mark," she said, as he answered the phone, "I've gone into labor. Can you get to the theatre as soon as possible?" She quickly interrupted his panic. "Don't worry, I'm fine. Just get here as quickly as you possibly can. My water hasn't even broken yet. We have time. OK, see you soon."

She hung up her cell phone and looked at Todd. "He'll be here in a few minutes," she said. "You should get back to work. I'll call you as soon as everything's over."

"OK," Todd said, and he gave her a brief, gentle hug. "You'll be OK. See you later."

Katie smiled as he walked off. Mark drove up two minutes later.

"Are you OK?" he asked, concerned, as he helped her into the car.

"I'm fine," Katie said, "but the sooner we get there, the better. Call Doctor Chase and tell her we're on our way."

Mark nodded nervously and they drove off. "Call Doctor Chase… then everyone else… Right," he stammered.

Katie breathed through another contraction as they arrived at Bellevue Medical Center. Doctor Chase met them at the emergency entrance with a team of nurses behind her.

"Hi, Katie, how're you doing?" she asked.

"Do I have to answer?" Katie said.

Doctor Chase smiled. "We're going to get you into a wheelchair and take you up to Labor and Delivery, OK?" she asked.

"No, I don't want to be wheeled up there," Katie protested. "I can walk. I'm not sick."

Doctor Chase was both impressed and slightly annoyed. "Well, all right, I won't argue with that," she said, "but we're going to walk up there with you, OK?"

"OK," Katie said. She allowed Doctor Chase and Mark to help her walk to the elevator, which they rode up to Labor and Delivery. Katie breathed through another contraction on the way up.

"Katie, you have got to be the strongest woman I've ever known," Mark commented, smiling nervously.

"Why, thank you, Mark, I hope I am," Katie said, smiling at him.

"Are you still OK?" Mark asked her.

"Yeah, but the sooner I get the epidural, the better," Katie said, looking at Doctor Chase, who nodded.

"I'll get the anesthesiologist up here as soon as we get you into a room," she said.

"Thank you," Katie said. She looked at Mark, as they helped her onto a delivery bed in a private room, and said, "Is everyone coming?"

"Yeah, they're on their way," Mark said.

Katie smiled happily. It was turning out to be exactly how she wanted it to be. "Good," she said.

The anesthesiologist came in and administered the epidural. Mark couldn't help but cringe as the needle went into Katie's spine. But five minutes later, Katie no longer felt pain and was feeling better about the entire situation.

"Are you doing OK now, honey?" Mark asked. Katie nodded.

Melanie, Roger, Collins, Maureen, Joanne, Madeline, Simon, and Leo arrived five minutes later, after Doctor Chase had checked Katie's dilation.

"We came as soon as we could. How are you doing, honey?" Melanie asked Katie, concerned.

"I'm fine," Katie assured her. "I'm just ready for it to be over with."

"Katie, you're already at eight centimeters, so it won't be long before you start pushing, OK?" Doctor Chase said to her.

"OK, Doc," Katie said. She smiled and lay back on her pillows, enjoying the relaxation while she could.

Ten minutes later, Doctor Chase confirmed that Katie was ready to go. "You're ten centimeters, Katie," she said, "so when the next contraction comes, I want you to push for ten seconds, OK?"

Katie nodded. When the next contraction came, she pushed for ten seconds, as Doctor Chase had said to do. Mark was holding one hand, Melanie the other.

"OK, breathe out and in again, and push," Doctor Chase said. Katie pushed again and Doctor Chase said, "OK, her head is out. Take a little break, Katie. Don't push, if you can." Katie nodded. Doctor Chase suctioned the baby's mouth and nose clear, and with another small push, the baby slid into the world, crying heartily.

"And we have a girl," Doctor Chase announced, placing the baby on Katie's chest, as Mark cut the cord, barely able to see through his tears. He was so choked up, he couldn't speak. Both parents were ecstatic.

Doctor Chase handed the baby off to the nurses, who cleaned her up, weighed, and measured her. "Ten fingers, ten toes, a perfect ten on the APGAR. Seven pounds and nineteen inches long," the nurse reported, as she gave the baby to Maureen to hold, as both Mark and Melanie's hands were occupied holding Katie's at the moment.

Another contraction came and Katie pushed with all she had to give. But half an hour passed and there was no progress. Katie was getting tired, the epidural was starting to wear off, and Doctor Chase was officially beginning to worry.

"Katie," she said seriously, "Katie, stop pushing for a moment." Katie stopped pushing and looked at her. "Listen to me, Katie. You've been pushing for nearly 45 minutes now and the baby is making no progress. Her heart rate is starting to drop and I'm concerned, especially since your epidural is also starting to wear off. I think we should do a C-section."

"What? No! Doctor Chase, please, no," Katie begged with her, even though she was completely exhausted. "Just give me a little more time. I'll do anything not to have one of those. It will kill me to get one of those. Please?"

"Katie, I would rather do it now, than in a rush later," Doctor Chase said. "I'm all for natural births, but your epidural is wearing off and you're exhausted. I think it would be a good idea, especially since your baby's heart rate is dropping. It's for the good of both of you. I don't want anything to go really wrong and then have to do an emergency C-section with you completely out."

Melanie knew she probably shouldn't interfere, but she couldn't help it. Something in her wanted to give Katie a pep talk and make her see straight. She angled herself so she was facing Katie, who was sweaty, pale, and exhausted. "Katie," she said, "Katie, listen to me." Katie looked at her. "I know you're tired and scared and you want to get this over as quickly as possible. But you should really listen to Doctor Chase."

"Honey, please listen to Doctor Chase and do what she says," Mark pleaded with Katie from her other side. He was trying hard not to get upset, but in the current situation, it was very difficult not to.

"It's in both your best interests," Melanie said to her. "Sweetie, please do what Doctor Chase says. I know you're not happy about what happens after the C-section, but if you think you won't be able to handle it, or that you'll have to handle it alone, look around you and think again."

Katie looked into the faces of Melanie, Roger, Collins, Maureen, Joanne, Madeline, Simon, and Leo. Melanie was right; with the exception of Simon and Leo, everyone would be willing to help Mark and Katie out with post-surgery and raising the twins. It wouldn't be so hard after all.

Katie looked from Melanie to Doctor Chase to Mark, to back to Doctor Chase again. "OK," she gave in, "OK. I'll do it."

"What? You mean you're not going to argue with me, Katie?" Doctor Chase asked, surprised, but pleased.

"No. I… if it's in the best interest of our baby, I don't want to hurt her or do anything wrong," Katie said. "I mean, I know I'll hate the post-surgery stuff, but if I have all this help, then… I think it'll be fine. I'll hate it, but it'll be fine."

Doctor Chase nodded. "Right, then," she said. "Let's get you prepped for the surgery then. You all," she added to the rest of the people in the room, "can go out to the waiting room and wait for news. As soon as it's done and Katie is settled in Recovery, I'll send Mark out."

The others, recognizing the dismissal, did as the doctor said and left the room. Melanie kissed Katie on her forehead before leaving with Roger. Now it was only Mark, Katie, and Doctor Chase. Baby A had already been taken up to the nursery moments earlier.

"Are you ready, Katie?" Doctor Chase asked.

"I don't want to wait any longer to meet our second little girl," Katie replied.

Doctor Chase nodded, taking that to be an affirmative reply, and Katie was wheeled up to the O.R., Mark by her side.

* * *

Half an hour later, everyone looked around as Mark came rushing into the waiting room, tears in his eyes.

"It's another girl," he said happily.

The Bohemians cheered and engulfed Mark in hugs, even Joanne.

"She's so beautiful. They both are," Mark said, crying. "Katie was great. I mean, she was still sort of freaking out, but she calmed down in time, all thanks to you, Mel," he added to Melanie, who smiled and wiped tears from her eyes. "But she was still so great. She felt better since I was there for it. If it had been an emergency, I wouldn't have even been allowed. The girls are so beautiful, you guys. I can't wait until you guys get to see them."

"When _can _we see them?" Maureen asked eagerly.

"Well, Katie has to be in Recovery for a few hours, but after that, I'll take you guys in to see her and our two little girls," Mark said.

"Mark, what are their names?" Collins asked.

Mark failed to stifle a sob and wiped more fresh tears from his face. "Sophia Louise and Bennett Leah Cohen," he said. Everyone was speechless with joy. "They've both got her lungs, man. Bennett was crying even as Doctor Chase pulled her out. It was insane, but so cool. I've never had such an experience."

"We're so happy for you, man," Collins said, hugging Mark.

"Thanks, Collins," Mark said. "Sophia Louise is seventeen inches long and seven pounds. Bennett Leah is sixteen inches long and six and a half pounds."

"Wow, that's big for twins," Melanie commented.

"That's what Doctor Chase said," said Mark. "Isn't it so amazing? I should get back to her, though. I'll see you all soon."

Everyone was smiling with joy as Mark went back in to be with Katie.

_

* * *

_

Three hours later...

Everyone went in to see Katie with Mark once he said Doctor Chase had OK'd it. Katie's eyes were closed when they entered her room, but she opened them when she heard the door shut.

"Hi, everybody," she said.

"Hi, Katie," everyone chorused at her.

"How are you feeling?" Melanie asked, concerned.

"I'm sore, but other than that, I'm OK," Katie said. "I'm pretty tired. It's been a crazy day."

"We should let you rest," Melanie said. Katie opened her mouth to protest, but Melanie talked over her. "No way, ma'am, don't even try to say 'I'm fine'." Katie closed her mouth. "You just gave birth twice in one day! A natural birth followed by a C-section, you need to _rest_! Don't you dare try to pull the Superwoman routine on me, got it, because neither I nor Doctor Chase will be fooled. Now sit— _sit!_" Melanie ordered Katie. "No arguments."

For a moment, it looked as though Katie wanted to argue. But she simply lay back on her pillows.

"Good girl," Melanie said, smiling. Katie rolled her eyes. "You'll be fine, I promise."

Katie nodded, and after a moment, smiled.

* * *

"No way, Katie, absolutely not," Todd said to Katie over the phone, two weeks later. "I will not allow you to leave the loft just to come to the theatre in your condition."

"But Todd—"

"No. You know how you will react, sweetie. You will see all that's going on and you will get excited and you won't be careful, and then something bad will happen. I won't allow it," Todd said firmly. His voice became gentler. "We're doing just fine without you. Trust me, you aren't missing anything. Don't worry, OK? Please. You'll be back soon enough."

"Sure, I'm not missing anything," Katie muttered irritably. But she was convinced, although grudgingly.

Mark came over to her after she had hung up. "Yelling at Todd again?" he asked, trying to sound like he was only teasing her, when he really wasn't.

"I'm just so frustrated, Mark," Katie said, and she sighed. "I haven't been able to drive for three weeks. I haven't been able to go to work. I'm still sore and I hate being so dependent on people." Katie looked up at him, realizing what she'd said. "I'm sorry." Mark shook his head. "Just try to talk me down."

"OK," Mark said, sitting in a chair next to their bed. "First of all, you know you aren't alone, that you're surrounded by lots of people who love you and want to help out. But they can't help if you refuse it or won't let them. Second, you _live _in _New York City_, dear, you don't _need _a car, yet you have one for emergencies or vacations, whenever we are able to go on one in the future. Thirdly, your soreness will go away faster if you rest and don't stress out so much. Until then, it's you, me, Bennett, Sophia, and _Buzzline_."

Katie nodded. After reading the article about Alexi getting fired and moving to California, Mark had rejoined _Buzzline _and they were both doing well again.

"I know the whole bed rest recovery thing is killing you, but the less you stress out about it, the sooner normal life will return."

Katie nodded. "All right," she said, "I give up."

"Good, because you need to give me a kiss, sweetie," Mark said, smiling and leaning over her, so she didn't have to. Making sure he put no pressure anywhere on her body or on the bed, he leaned down and kissed her, the beloved husband who loved her in sickness and in health, to the ends of the earth.

* * *

On the following Monday night, Madeline was watching TV when she saw her father putting on his coat, about to head out the door.

"Hey, Dad, where are you going?" Madeline asked.

"Life Support, kiddo," Roger said, "it's Monday night. Wanna come?"

"Yeah," Madeline said eagerly. She put on her coat and went out the door with Roger. "Should we tell Mom where we're going?"

"Nah," Roger said, smiling at her, "she'll know. I haven't gone to one since a month before the tour."

"Are you nervous about going back?" Madeline asked.

"Yeah," Roger said, "I mean, it's always nerve-wracking to go back, in case somebody died."

"It'll be OK, Dad," Madeline said.

"I know, kiddo, I'm not worried."

"But you just said—"

"I know what I said. Listen to what I'm saying now. I'm not afraid because I am with you."

Madeline smiled, feeling honored that she was going with him.

"We'd better get going, we don't want to be late," Roger said, and Madeline followed him down the street.

_

* * *

_

Twenty minutes later…

"Hi, my name is Madeline Rose Davis. Roger"— Madeline indicated to her father— "is my father. I'll be 14 in January. Um, I've never been to one of these before. I don't really know what to say."

She cast glances around at the Life Support members. Paul spoke up with a helpful nudge. "You know your father is HIV-positive, Madeline?"

"Yes, he told me last year," Madeline said. "Some people might think I was too young to find out, but I wouldn't have had it any other way."

Paul nodded. "Can you tell us more about yourself?" he asked.

"Well, I go to the junior high school here, I'm in the eighth grade," Madeline said. "My mother is Melanie Davis, who works at City Hall. She's a court typist and types up trial recordings for records and such. I have younger fraternal twin brothers, Simon Angelis and Leo Collins Davis, after Collins there"— she pointed at Collins across from her— "and his late lover, Angel. I'm in band and choir. I play keyboard and marimba and acoustic guitar, and I'm an alto. Um, I consider my dad's friends to be my family, since neither my mom nor my dad has any biological siblings. My aunt Katie recently had twins, Sophia Louise and Bennett Leah. Um..."

She cast around for another helpful nudge and Paul said, "Is there any specific reason you came to tonight's meeting?"

"Well... of course I came to support my dad and my Uncle Collins and Sam, but... I guess I also came here to deal with the HIV, too," Madeline said.

Paul nodded. "Very good, Madeline," he said, smiling at her.

Madeline nodded and sat down. Roger put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "Good job, kiddo," he said. "I'm proud of you."

"Me too, Baby girl," Collins said, smiling at her and reaching across the circle and taking her hands briefly. Sam smiled and winked at her from across the circle.

* * *

After the meeting, Mark came over and pulled Madeline aside. "I'm so glad you came," he said. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks," Madeline said, nodding. "I had to, you know?"

Mark nodded.

"So do you film every Life Support meeting?" Madeline asked.

"Bits," Mark said, "but not as much anymore as in 'Today 4 U'."

"What's 'Today 4 U'?" Madeline asked.

Mark blanched. "You mean, you're almost fourteen and you haven't seen 'Today 4 U' yet?" he asked, aghast. Madeline shook her head. "Well, my, my, we must put a stop to this immediately." Madeline looked confused. "It's my big film. It gave me a name. We have to show it to you when we get home tonight, once the boys are asleep."

"OK," Madeline said, "I can't wait."

Mark smiled and they walked back to the loft.

This is the end of chapter 15. The Cohen twins (I love calling them, and the Davis twins, that, hehe) are here. Welcome, Sophia and Bennett! I'm so sorry for not posting it up sooner. But with the death of Francesca, my flash drive, on the 25th, I had to work to rewrite and re-type all the information I lost, including this chapter and about two new chapters for The One That Got Away, and it is taking time. Francesca won't be able to be recovered, mainly because I'm not willing to spend the money to recover her when I can type up most of these chapters anyway, since I hand-wrote quite a bit of them before. Not all of it, but some of it. I'm working on recovering the documents as fast as I can. My other flash drive, Blue, who is brand-new, is taking over until I can buy another flash drive like Francesca, so I can have a separate flash drive for schoolwork and another for things for fun (like this), especially since my schoolwork is much more important than this story (sorry to say it, wish I didn't have to, but it's true.)

I was lucky this weekend to be able to get computer access to be able to type this up for you guys today. We had Thanksgiving Dinner a couple hours ago, so it doesn't really matter to the adults what the kids do, so I chose this for a while. My aunt doesn't mind in the slightest, so yayo! Hehe. I hope you liked this chapter. Next chapter will be Brianna's return and concentration on the Davis family, I think. I want to try to get more Cohen family stuff in future chapters, too. We'll see how things go. I'm praying to God that I get a truly good flash drive, with high reliability and unlikely to die, so that I don't lose anything again in the future. Or else I'll have to back everything up at home as often as I can, so I don't lose anything.

As always, don't forget to review. Especially with Francesca's death and the work I'm putting in to slowly recover these chapters, I think I deserve it, if I may say so. Besides, I love feedback and reply to almost every review I receive. Thanks.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	16. Look Where We Have Come To

Just remember, readers, that Madeline was 13 when the twins were born. She is almost turning 14 when she goes to Life Support with Roger, Collins, Sam, and Mark in the previous chapter. In this chapter, 2 and a 1/2 years later, she is 16. The Davis twins are 3. The Cohen twins are 17 months old. (I love calling them that, LOL, especially the Davis twins, since it signifies that Roger _finally_ has some stability in his life.) I don't want anyone to be confused. And the name 'Sion' I got off Seventh Sanctum dot com's Greek Name Generator, so I don't own it, but it was the only Greek name out of several results that caught my eye. I believe it is pronounced See-ohn, but I have no idea. Oh, and also, Sam and Collins are living in Mimi's old flat below the loft, just so you know. Not sure if that was clear before, so I'm making it clear now. Here is chapter 16.

Roger and Melanie's house was alive with activity on the night of Simon and Leo's third birthday. They had both come home from work to find the dining room, entryway, and the boys' room decorated for a party. Now, after dinner, the party was in full swing. The cake was cut and the boys opened their presents with their parents' help. Even Collins, who had come down recently with a cold, was at the party. Melanie was very happy he came.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," he said, smiling at her.

Toward the end of the party, Melanie looked up, as she heard the doorbell ring. Simon, although excited over his birthday presents (a small stuffed white tiger from Maureen and Joanne; a train set from Roger and Melanie; a vest and cap from Collins and Sam; and a rocking horse each from Katie and Mark and 17-month-old twins Sophia and Bennett), knew his mother was leaving the room, and naturally, him being a mama's boy, wanted to go with her. So she picked him up and had him in her arms when she went to go answer the door.

Melanie was confused when she opened the door to see a tall teenage girl with cropped brown hair and green eyes standing on the front step, shivering from the mid-March cold.

"Can I help you?" Melanie asked her.

"I hope so," the girl said timidly. She looked from Melanie to a piece of paper in her hands to Melanie again. "Are you Melanie Davis?"

"Yes," Melanie said, both curious and suspicious. "Why do you ask?"

"Was your maiden name Schwartz?" the girl asked.

"Yes," Melanie said, narrowing her eyes. "Who wants to know?"

"I do," the girl said. "Um, not to be forward, but… may I come in?"

"Oh," Melanie said, nodding, "I'm sorry, I forgot my manners. Yes, yes of course. Come in, come in."

She moved aside so the girl could enter the house, then closed the door behind her. The girl smiled gratefully and followed Melanie and Simon into the kitchen. The others were still in the dining room.

"Thank you," the girl said, sitting at the table. She accepted a cup of warm chamomile tea Melanie made her. "The reason I asked is… I don't want to cause alarm, but… if you're Melanie Schwartz, or well, you were… I'm Brianna. I think you're my mother."

-

Melanie stared at Brianna for so long that she forgot she was holding a cup of hot tea. Her fingers suddenly quit working and the cup shattered on the linoleum floor.

"Damn it," Melanie said. She quickly got paper towels and wiped up the mess and threw the broken cup in the trash. "Sorry," she apologized, "it's just… I can't believe this. I… I need to tell Roger. Could you watch him for a second? I— I need to go get my husband."

"Sure," Brianna said, smiling nervously at her. Simon walked over to her and she picked him up and sat him on her lap. "Hey, buddy, how are you doing?" she asked him.

She was bouncing him on her knee and Simon was giggling when Melanie and Roger came back into the room. Roger was carrying Leo, but set him down when he got to the doorway. He looked very confused. "Melanie, what's going on?" he asked. He noticed Brianna and suddenly became protective and suspicious. "Wait, who is this? Why is she holding Simon?"

"Roger, you really can't tell who this is?" Melanie asked him. Roger shook his head. "You're not going to believe it. This is Brianna."

It was lucky Roger had set Leo down when he had walked into the kitchen, for if his stunned face was any indication of what his hands might have done, or not done, he might have dropped his child in shock. "What?" he said. "You're joking." He looked at Melanie, both shocked and confused and almost pleading. "Please tell me you're joking?"

"I'm not," Melanie said, grinning. She felt very confused and shocked, and for some odd reason, she also felt an incredible desire to laugh with disbelief. She quickly suppressed it at the look on Roger's face.

"You— you're really our daughter, Bree?" Roger asked, looking at Brianna.

"Well, my birth certificate says my name is Brianna Maureen Davis, and that you are Roger Jay Davis, my father, and that you," Brianna said, looking at Roger, then Melanie, "are Melanie Elizabeth Schwartz, my mother. So I would say, yeah, I am." Brianna began to feel awkward. "But if I've made any kind of mistake, I'm so sorry for bringing this upon you... I'll just go... I'm sorry for wasting your time."

She set Simon back down and made to stand up. But Melanie interrupted her.

"Brianna, wait," she said. She was trying desperately to believe Brianna. "I'm sorry. We don't mean to scare you off. It's just that we haven't seen you in so long…"

"18 years," Brianna said seriously. "Yeah, I know. I've been wondering who my parents were all my life, so when I turned 18 last September, I began my own investigation to find out. It took forever, but I've found you. That's all I wanted."

Melanie and Roger had a very quick conversation with their eyes. Then Melanie said, "Brianna, I for one do believe you are my daughter." She frowned at Roger when he shot her a look of disbelief. "I mean, you look a lot like me and you… you have your dad's eyes, just like your sister does. But what I _would_ like to know is how you found out."

Brianna nodded. "Last year, on my 18th birthday, some of the girls caused a commotion and distracted the Headmistress so I could break into her office and obtain my file through her computer," she said. "I know I shouldn't have, but since I was finally of legal age, curiosity got the better of me. I had to know. None of the staff there would tell me, even though I had a right to know upon turning 18. So I found out myself."

"Brianna, you shouldn't have done that," Melanie said, frowning at her.

"I know, OK? Spare me the lecture; but it was worth it, wasn't it?" Brianna asked. "I found you, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did," Melanie said, nodding. "So did you look us up without your adoptive family's permission?"

Brianna suddenly looked crestfallen. "I, uh, I was never adopted," she said quietly.

Melanie's face fell and her heart sank. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Brianna said. "I help take care of the kids there part-time to make money. Since I was raised there, I help them adjust to life there and I talk to them and listen when they need to talk and stuff. I help cook a little, even though I'm pathetic at it. I do laundry and sometimes I clean. We're basically our own family."

Melanie nodded. "That's great to hear," she said. "So, um, do you want to join the party? Since you don't have anywhere else to go, I don't want you to leave and walk around the city by yourself. Yes, I know you're 18," she added, as Brianna was about to open her mouth to protest. "I don't care. Stay here tonight, OK?"

"OK," Brianna said, smiling at her. "Thank you," she paused, then finished her sentence, "Mom."

Melanie smiled and her heart swelled. "You're welcome," she said.

"So are these two boys my— my baby brothers?" Brianna asked Melanie.

"Yes," Melanie said, smiling, "they are your baby brothers, they turned three today."

"That's great," Brianna said, smiling at her mother.

Melanie walked over to Brianna and put her arm around her. Roger did the same and they went into the living room, back to the birthday party.

"Hey, what took you guys so long?" Katie asked, as Melanie and Roger walked into the room with Brianna. She had Sophia on her lap. "You're missing the party."

"Sorry," Melanie said, smiling at her. "We just discovered someone else who needs to join in."

"Who is this?" Katie asked, bouncing Sophia on her knee.

Melanie looked at Katie and everyone else. "Everyone... this is Brianna," she said. "Brianna, this is… everyone."

Silence, then—

"What?" Katie asked softly.

Melanie refused to meet Katie's eyes, knowing it would most likely cause her physical pain to see the look on Katie's face. Katie had never met Brianna, and Melanie had never really spoken about her. Melanie regretted this now; she felt almost like she had betrayed Katie, in a way, by not telling her.

"She's Roger's and my daughter from high school," Melanie said, looking at the floor. Still not wanting to look at Katie, Melanie looked at Madeline. "Remember, your dad and I told you about her the other night?"

Madeline was silent for a moment. Then she heaved a deep breath and said, "Yeah, I remember."

Melanie saw the look on Madeline's face. It was shocked, confused, hurt, almost betrayed. But at the same time, at least she had known before about Brianna and could accept it more easily than Katie.

"What's wrong, Maddy?" Melanie asked her.

"I… I need a few minutes," Madeline said.

She turned around and left the room. Melanie sighed wearily after she watched her daughter go up to her room and flinched when she heard the door slam.

Only now did she dare look at Katie. Katie wasn't looking angry, only confused and concerned.

"Do you hate me?" Melanie asked her nervously.

"No," Katie said, "of course not. You're my best friend. I just wish you'd told me before."

Melanie nodded. "I'm sorry."

Katie nodded. "It's OK. We'll figure this out. I'm glad you told me now."

Melanie nodded again. Her brain felt numb. She also felt completely exhausted and really just wanted to sleep.

"I'll go talk to her," Maureen said gently, placing her hand on Melanie's shoulder. Melanie closed her eyes and nodded silently, then Maureen went after Madeline.

"Maybe we'd better go," Collins said softly from beside Melanie.

Melanie nodded. "Collins, I wish you'd stay," she said, "but if you think you should go..."

"Baby girl, if you need me, I want to stay here," Collins said. He turned away for a moment and coughed into his handkerchief.

Melanie changed her mind instantly. "Collins, I can tell you're not feeling a hundred percent, even though you haven't said anything. If you need to go home and rest, do it. I'll be fine," she said automatically.

"Well, OK, Baby girl, but call me if you need to talk, OK?" Collins asked.

"I will," Melanie said, looking up into the philosopher's eyes, where stars still twinkled. She smiled weakly. "Thank you."

"Take care, Baby girl," Collins said. He hugged her and then left with Sam.

Melanie put a hand to her head. "I'm going to go lie down for a while," she said to Roger. "Could you… could you watch the boys? I'm sorry."

Roger shook his head. "Don't be. Of course I can," he said. "Don't worry about it, baby. We... we'll figure this out."

Melanie nodded, swallowed, and then went upstairs to hers and Roger's bedroom. She could hear Maureen talking to Madeline in her bedroom two rooms down (the boys' room was between their parents' room and Madeline's room), but she pressed Roger's pillow to her ears so she couldn't hear what they were saying. It didn't take her long to fall into an exhausted, dreamless sleep.

-

Melanie didn't know how long she had slept, but when she woke up, the house was quiet. Everyone had obviously gone home. She realized Roger wasn't next to her in the bed and got up. She went out to the living room and sat on a chair. Roger walked into the room from the kitchen, with a cup of hot chamomile tea in his hands.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hi," she replied, her voice hoarse from fatigue.

"Do you want to talk about this?" Roger asked.

"What is there to talk about?" Melanie asked. "Madeline is shocked she has a sister, even though we told her about Bree. She just—"

"— didn't expect her to come walking through the door tonight," Roger finished for her. "Yeah, I know. None of us did."

"Did Maureen talk to her?" Melanie asked.

"Yes," Roger said. "She said Madeline feels better about it now, but just needed to be talked down a little."

Melanie nodded. "I'm glad she is open to getting to know Brianna," she said.

Roger nodded. He didn't say anything for too long, so Melanie brought up a question.

"Question is, are you?" she asked him.

"Yes, I am," Roger said. "You know it's all we've wanted, was to meet her again and see how she has grown up."

Melanie nodded.

"So, I was thinking, how about we take her and Madeline and the boys all out for ice cream or to a movie or something?" he asked. "We could make it a day together."

"Or a whole week of days," Melanie said, smiling.

"That's the attitude," Roger said, smiling at her.

"It was your idea," Melanie said. "Thanks for thinking of it."

"No problem," Roger said, smiling at her. "I mean, I know I'm a genius." Melanie hit him on the arm and he grinned. "I hope you don't mind she's staying in our guest bedroom?"

"No, why would I object to our daughter staying there?" Melanie asked.

"Just checking," Roger said, leaning down to kiss her. "I always check to make sure things are OK with my lovely wife."

Melanie smiled. "Uh huh, and I'm glad you do," she said, wrapping her arms around him in a hug.

-

Brianna stayed for the next week. Neither Roger nor Melanie minded this, as they got to know her as though she had not been gone for half their life. They took her out for ice cream, they went to movies, and they went shopping (even Roger). They weren't really trying to make it up to her, but in a sense, they were.

At the end of a full day of shopping, Melanie, Roger, Brianna, Madeline, Simon, and Leo, came home, laden with shopping bags. As Melanie and Roger were both holding a twin each, Madeline and Brianna had the shopping bags. They had bought new clothes for Brianna, who didn't have much, and books, some toiletries, and for both girls.

Melanie noticed Brianna was looking exhausted and insisted she lay down for a while. "Bree, why don't you go lie down in your room for a while?" she asked. "You look exhausted."

"I am," Brianna admitted. She smiled weakly. "It was a good day."

Melanie smiled and hugged her. "I'm glad you had fun," she said. "I know I did with my two girls and my two boys."

Brianna smiled and nodded sleepily, then padded softly upstairs to her room. Melanie looked after her as she closed the door quietly behind herself. Melanie could hear Roger talking to Simon and Leo in the kitchen and humming a tune while he made dinner.

"What are you thinking about, Mom?" Madeline asked from beside her.

Melanie jumped. She hadn't realized Madeline was there.

"Oh," she said awkwardly, "I don't know… I mean, I do, but… I don't know how to explain it."

Madeline sat on the couch and indicated for her mother to sit next to her. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

Melanie wasn't sure. "I don't know," she said. "I guess I… I'm feeling like I have been a terrible mother twice."

Madeline shook her head. "Mom, don't think that," she said. "Don't think that for one second. Look, I know you and I had a hard time starting out after you had me, but look where we've come to. Dad's CD went gold, we have more money than we ever thought we would, I have a new sister to get to know—"

"So you're not angry about Brianna?" Melanie asked her. "Be honest."

"No, Mom, I'm not," Madeline said. "I mean, it was shocking at first, of course, it was. It was for all of us, even you and Dad. But I'm glad I'm getting to know her. She's fun."

Melanie smiled.

"And everyone is healthy," Madeline said, "you, Simon, Leo, Brianna, Dad, Uncle Collins, Uncle Mark, Aunt Maureen and Joanne and Katie, Sophia and Bennett, everyone."

Melanie nodded.

Madeline hugged her mother tightly. "Don't feel for one second like you've been a bad mother," she said. "You haven't. Trust me. We wouldn't be this close if you had been."

Melanie smiled and hugged her back. "Are you sure you're only 16?" she asked her jokingly. "I mean, come on, you're talking like you're 64 years old."

Madeline smiled and shrugged.

Then mother and daughter's smiles faltered as they heard a thud from the guest bedroom upstairs. They exchanged worried looks and went out of the living room and upstairs. They opened the guest room door and were met with the sight of Brianna lying sprawled on the floor, against the bed. It looked as though she had collapsed before sitting on it.

"Brianna!" Melanie said, alarmed. She and Madeline rushed over to Brianna. Brianna half-opened her eyes and her breath came out in gasps.

"Mom…?" she asked, sounding groggy and confused.

"Brianna, what's going on, sweetie? Talk to me," Melanie said quickly. She placed a hand on Brianna's forehead. Brianna was burning up. "Bree, please say something!"

Brianna seemed to be struggling to form words. "I... have a... confession," she murmured.

"What?" Melanie asked, not letting go of her daughter. Madeline was holding onto her sister's other side.

"I… I didn't come looking for you just… to look for you," Brianna said quietly. She seemed to be using a ton of what little energy she had to say something. "I… I have… leukemia."

Melanie's blood ran cold. "_What?_" she said. "What are you talking about, Bree?"

"It's called… leukemia," Brianna said quietly, her eyes closed. "My… white blood cells are low… I did some chemo… at Mayo Clinic in Minnesota for a while… The foster home… managed to pay for it for me… I don't know how… It was in my spleen, which they removed; damn useless organ, anyway. I went into remission… Then it came back… The doctors said I would… need a bone marrow transplant… if it came back again, which it has."

"Well, whatever you do need, we need to get you to a hospital right now," Melanie said, and she picked Brianna up with Madeline's help. They rushed out of the room and Melanie yelled for Roger, as she carried Brianna to the top of the stairs. "Roger! Roger, Brianna's collapsed!"

Roger came rushing out of the kitchen, both boys clinging to his legs. "Is she OK?" he asked.

"Does she _look _OK?" Melanie snapped at him, as she lay Brianna down on the couch with Roger's help. Melanie immediately bent down to tend to Brianna, while Roger called 911. "Bree, please keep talking to me, so I know you're OK," she said to Brianna.

"What do you want me to say?" Brianna asked weakly.

"Anything, sweetie, just so I know you're awake," Melanie said. "Stay awake, OK?"

"Don't worry, Mom, I'm not going anywhere."

Roger lifted Brianna into his arms and carried her down the stairs, where they met the paramedics. As the paramedics took Brianna from him and lifted her onto the gurney, Melanie saw a flash of fear in his eyes.

"What happened?" one of the EMTs asked.

"She collapsed in her bedroom upstairs. She just told us she has leukemia and went into remission once, and now she's guessing it has come back."

"OK, that's helpful. Thank you," the EMT said. "Can one of you come with her?"

Melanie and Roger looked at each other. "You go, Mel," Roger said.

"Roger," Melanie said to him.

"No, Melanie, don't argue. You go with her. You… know her best," Roger said, looking at her, confused.

Melanie knew what he meant. She nodded and went with Brianna in the ambulance.

"Let's go, Madeline," Roger said, and they got Simon and Leo and drove to the hospital.

-

"Brianna Davis?"

Roger, Melanie, and Madeline stood up, as they heard the nurse call Brianna's name. They went over to the nurse.

"Follow me, please," the nurse said.

It felt like the walk of doom. The nurse led them down to the end of the hall and turned right. Melanie read the sign on the wall that said 'Isolation Wing'. She looked at Roger.

"Roger, what's going on?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know, baby, let's just wait until we talk to the doctor before making assumptions, OK?" Roger asked.

Melanie nodded and they continued to walk with the nurse. She led them to a door. "This is the isolation wing," she explained. She placed a mask over her face and handed them scrubs and masks. "If you wish to see her, you will have to put these on. We are giving her medication to suppress her immune system, so we take every precaution to protect her."

Melanie couldn't bring herself to speak. "OK," Roger said.

Melanie, Roger, and Madeline went into the nearest bathrooms and changed into their scrubs and put on their hair coverings and boots in silence. It took a few minutes to get the boys to cooperate; being only three, they did not understand what was going on or why they were being forced into strange, slippery, uncomfortable scrubs and masks.

Then they left their street clothes there and went in to see her.

"The doctor will be along in a minute," the nurse said, as they entered the room.

"Thank you," Roger said. The nurse left.

The room looked like a normal private hospital room, except everything was white and completely sterile.

The group was hit with a bright light for a few seconds, which killed any remaining germs. Then they saw Brianna. She was sitting propped partially up on a couple pillows. The covers were pulled up to below her chest. She looked over at them after the bright light faded.

"Hi," she said quietly.

"Hi," they replied in unison.

"How are you feeling?" Melanie asked.

"I'm tired," Brianna said. "Other than that, and the fact that I'm stuck in here, I'm OK."

"I'm glad you're all right," Melanie said, stroking her hair. "At least, I'm glad we know what's wrong, because we can fix it."

"You think so?" Brianna asked her.

"I'm hoping to God so," Melanie said, nodding.

Brianna sighed. Then the doctor came in, also dressed in scrubs, with a hair net and face mask.

"Mr. and Mrs. Davis," he said. "I'm Doctor Austin Kincaid. I trust Brianna has told you what has happened?"

"Yes," Melanie said. "Can you tell us more?"

"Of course," Doctor Kincaid said. "Brianna has acute myeloid leukemia, or AML. Her leukemia has collected in her spleen and . We are scheduling surgery to have her spleen removed."

Brianna glanced nervously at her mother and father, but then looked back at Doctor Kincaid.

"She will be in isolation here for a week," he went on. "You all can come visit her, you just have to go through the sterilization process you did today. We have given her medication to suppress her immune system, which will be fully effective in two to three days. She is going to need a bone marrow transplant, since she has had a relapse. We are going to harvest her marrow in the morning, so that, if none of you are matches, we can at least put hers back, to wait until her body is ready for another, different transplant. If a transplant is a success, she would be kept in isolation for another week, and then moved to a private room, where you can see her more frequently, without all these necessary precautions. Once she is health enough, she will be able to go home and live a normal life.

"She will get frequent check-ups, about every three months. Then, after five years of no relapses and cancer-free, she will be considered officially cancer-free. Of course, there is a chance that not even the BMT will save her."

Melanie and Roger nodded. Their brains felt numb. Their daughter was sick, dying of leukemia.

"How does the matching and transplant work?" Melanie asked.

"We will do blood tests to see if you or your husband or your daughter is a match. We don't want to test your boys; they're too young for the surgery, even if they are matches," Doctor Kincaid said. Melanie nodded. "For now, let's just wait until her immune system is fully suppressed and then we will do the blood tests to see who is a marrow match. I would guess your daughter here"— he indicated to Madeline— "is the best match, because she is Brianna's full sister, but I can give no guarantees."

Melanie nodded. "I understand," she said. "Will this transplant cure Brianna?"

"It can, as long as there are no future relapses," Doctor Kincaid said. "I'm very hopeful the marrow test will come up with something."

"OK," Roger said, "thank you, Doctor."

Doctor Kincaid nodded and smiled at them. "I'm confident Brianna can beat this. She's young and has beaten it before. This is just another relapse." Melanie and Roger nodded. "So I don't want any of you thinking she's going to die, because she has a very much higher chance of survival with the bone marrow transplant."

Melanie and Roger nodded again. They were willing to do anything to save Brianna's life.

This is the end of chapter 16. I know, I know, I was mean and ended it on a cliffhanger. But I couldn't figure out any other way to end it, really. If I would have continued, it would have been longer than the 15 pages it is. Next up is more on Brianna's leukemia (as much as I can write about without being drastically incorrect, as I don't know much about the topic, but I'm researching it to the best of my ability), and some more Collins and Sam situations as well. I'll update as soon as possible. Please continue to be patient with me while you wait for updates. I'm in college, remember, and believe me, college sucks your soul.

Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review. I love feedback.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	17. Cancer

Hey, guys, I'm so sorry this has taken so long to update. But both my beta and I have been busy over our winter breaks, but I have had quite a lot of time to write, actually, so this chapter is the beginning of what seems like will be three chapter updates or so in the next few days. This chapter specifically is more on Brianna and her treatment for leukemia.

A week after the initial diagnosis, Brianna's treatment was fully under way. The group all still went to see her, except Collins, who sent his regards, but could not see her because of his cold and her susceptibility to germs. Sometimes Sam went with the group to see Brianna when he was not with Collins.

They had decided chemotherapy was the best course of action before the bone marrow transplant. They resumed the five-day-a-week schedule Brianna was on before her previous remission. They decided to keep her in the hospital, since this relapse was much worse before, and they could keep a better eye on her that way as well.

Every morning, they gave her six pills to swallow. Four were to try and kill the cancer cells in her body and two were vitamins to keep her healthy enough to continue with the treatment. On Wednesdays, they would hook her up to an I.V. and do some chemotherapy that way. This schedule, while rigorous, was not helping as much as they could have hoped.

One Wednesday, Melanie decided to sit with Brianna while she received the I.V. treatment.

"You really didn't have to come. I know how boring this must be for you, just sitting with me while they pump me full of this stuff. At least on the other days, I can play a game while I am not puking my guts up. Here, I usually just read a book or something," Brianna said, feeling guilty for taking up so much of Melanie's time, especially with the twins.

"Don't be silly. I want to be here," Melanie said, shaking her head. "Plus, Katie has the boys today and Madeline is at school all day. I want to be here to help you while you are going through this; especially since I wasn't here the first time."

Brianna blushed, glad that her mom wanted to spend this time with her. Just then, the nurse, Lisa, walked into the room, interrupting the mother-daughter moment both women had wanted for so long.

"How's my star patient today?" she asked, carrying the bag full of the treatment.

"Great," Brianna replied sarcastically, a smile plastered on her face, "looking forward to another fun-filled day of chemo!"

Lisa laughed. "I am glad you are so upbeat about treatment. It will go a long way in your recovery." She pulled aside the gown from Brianna's left shoulder. She had a port placed in during her first round of treatment so they wouldn't have to stick her every time they needed blood, or gave her something through and IV.

Melanie shivered, watching as they hooked the bag of fluid up to Brianna. Brianna noticed her mother's reaction to the port and was quick to say, "It doesn't hurt, and it is much easier than getting stuck in the arm every time they need anything."

Melanie smiled. "I'm glad you are so brave, sweetie. I wish I was here to help more often."

"Don't worry about it. I know you are really busy with the kids and such. I'm just glad you are here today."

They sat in the chairs, talking about Melanie and her life, and Brianna and growing up. They were both very grateful for the chance to catch up. They just both hoped they would find a donor soon so they could keep up their relationship.

* * *

The bone marrow test results came back a week after she started treatment. Madeline was her best match.

"This is great news," Doctor Kincaid said. "Would you like for me to go over the procedure for both Madeline and for Brianna?"

"Yes, please," replied Melanie, wanting to know what each girl was going to be going through.

"With Brianna, we are going to have to harvest all of her bone marrow out of her body, in case later she rejects Madeline's marrow. Then we would put her original marrow back in until we could find another match."

"How likely is it she would need another transplant?" Roger asked.

"It isn't very likely. Brianna will have to live the rest of her life on anti-rejection meds in order to prevent her body from attacking the marrow. This will not leave her more susceptible to illnesses. We will need to start suppressing her immune system right away. We will put her in a sterile room and set up a germ-killing process for all visitors.

"Once her immune system is suppressed and we are ready to harvest Madeline's marrow, we will remove all of Brianna's marrow, and then we will hang the IV bags full of Madeline's marrow. It will drip in for about six hours. About 24 hours after, we will know how the marrow took.

"Now, with Madeline, she will be awake during the procedure. We will put the area under a local anesthetic in order to prevent most of the pain. She will feel pressure as we get the needle through the hip bone."

"So, you will be taking a needle and pushing it through her bone?" Melanie said, cringing at the thought.

"Yes, we will do it in about five or six different locations in order to prevent too much harvesting from one area and it will also even out any pain. Her hip will be sore for about a week or so, and then she will be able to go on with everyday activities. Do you all have any questions for me?"

Roger and Melanie both shook their heads, processing all the information they received.

"We will need you to fill out paperwork and we can schedule the surgery as soon as possible. A prospective date is the twenty-first of June, if that's convenient for you."

"Of course it is," Melanie said immediately. She looked at Roger, realizing she'd spoken too quickly, but he nodded in agreement.

"OK, then we'll schedule it for June twenty-first," Doctor Kincaid said, nodding. "Fill out this paperwork, then you can ask me any questions you might have."

Melanie and Roger nodded and began to fill out the proper paperwork. They felt confident they were on their way to saving Brianna's life.

* * *

Due to the matching bone marrow, Brianna had to stop taking any treatment; they needed to start suppressing her immune system so they could harvest her marrow before they put Madeline's in. Due to visitor restrictions, everyone was required to wear scrubs over their clothing and be covered head to toe. Then, before entering the room, they waved an ultraviolet light over everyone, trying to kill any germs that were missed. The same process was repeated for anything that they were bringing for Brianna.

Every time they went to see her, they went through the same process with the bright light and the scrubs. Simon and Leo no longer protested; they grew used to it, comforted by the presence of their mother and father. Brianna enjoyed Simon's company the most; it was with him she was closest, since she had met him first. Brianna even got to meet Sophia and Bennett. Mark got special permission from the hospital to film Brianna and her progress for a new documentary.

"You know, Brianna, I don't have to do this if you aren't comfortable with it," he said, as he filmed around the room, focusing mostly on her.

"No, it's OK, Mark," Brianna said. "But I'll want forty percent gross."

"Fifteen," Mark said, beginning to barter with her.

"Twenty-five," Brianna said, raising a very Roger-like eyebrow at him.

Mark paused. "You are joking, right?" he asked, raising an eyebrow back at her.

Brianna's face split into a grin. "Of course I am," she said. "I would be honored to have a documentary about me, no matter what I get out of it. You could follow Dad's trend."

"Roger's 'trend'?" Mark asked, turning to look at Roger.

"I think she's referring to the song I wrote about her when she was born," Roger explained.

"Oh yeah," Mark said, turning back around and smiling. "Well, I'm up to the challenge."

"Good," Brianna said, smiling at him.

The Bohos lapsed into an easy conversation, while the boys were coloring with Madeline. After a little while Simon looked up from his coloring, and asked Brianna a question. "Bree, why do you have to go through all this? I mean, when I am sick, Mommy just gives me a Popsicle and I sleep a lot, then I feel better. Why won't this work for you?"

There was a tense silence. All waited to see what Briana had to say. Melanie made a move to answer her son's question, but Roger held up a hand, waiting to see how Brianna would answer the difficult question.

"Well, my body is so sick, it can't fight off the infection, sweetie," Brianna said gently, thinking it over carefully before she answered. "Some of my special germ fighter cells aren't working right, so I am in the hospital. Madeline has some germ fighter cells she says I can have, so next week she is going to give me some."

"Oh, well if my germ fighter would work, I would let you have them." Simon replied, and then went back to coloring.

Simon didn't see the tears that welled up in Brianna's eyes at the boy's sweet words. The adults smiled at the small exchange and the relationship between Simon and Brianna. Small conversations started back up again, and Brianna absorbed all of it, afraid it may be one of the last times it happened.

* * *

Melanie, Roger, Madeline and the whole Boho gang walked into the hospital waiting room very early the next morning. Roger and Melanie quickly walked over to the desk and filled out all the necessary forms for Madeline to donate marrow to Brianna.

As soon as she was checked in, Madeline was taken into a small room and handed a paper gown to change into. Once she did, she lay on the gurney and waited for them to take her into the sterile room to harvest the marrow.

Roger and Melanie came up to wish Madeline good luck, as the nurses wheeled her to the OR.

"Baby, I am so proud of you. You are so brave, sweetie," Melanie said, holding her hand.

"Maddy, you are my girl. I can't even tell you how proud of you I am," Roger said to her.

"Thanks, Mommy and Daddy," Madeline said, calling her parents something she hadn't said since she was ten. "You all will be there as soon as I get out, right?"

Roger and Melanie nodded. "Of course we will," replied Melanie.

The nurse rolled Madeline into the room and prepared her for the harvest.

This is the end of chapter 17. I don't know about you guys, but my favorite part is the cute, friendly exchange between Brianna and Simon. :) I know I said when I was to update this story next it would be worth all your guys' patience. This isn't what I would consider to be filler; it is part of the story and something of what I had planned. But the rest of what I have planned and pretty much ready to go are much too long to be included in this. The entire document, once ready to be split apart and finalized, was 32 pages long. Imagine that being a chapter! So I will be updating multiple chapters over the course of the next few days. This chapter is dedicated to my beta, katetastic, whom, even though she was busy with her winter break, still found time to write for me. Thanks, girl, I owe you one. :)

Next chapter will be updated as soon as I can. I am getting together with a college friend before she moves away for a few months for her health and I have some _serious_ work to do on upcoming piano and vocal music over the next couple days, but I will still have time to update for you guys, so I'm planning on it. Then this weekend will be spent getting ready to go back to my dorm and get back into the swing of things college.

That's all from me. As always, don't forget to review. Thanks.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	18. Greece

This chapter was actually better in its originality, but unfortunately, two days before Thanksgiving, my flash drive that had this on it, died, so I lost it. But I have been able to get it back to about 80 percent of what it was originally. It's Sam/Collins and Collins/Melanie-centric, but the Bohos will be around, too. Also, I believe Sion (the Greek doctor's name further on in this chapter) is pronounced See-ohn, but I have no idea. It's just my best guess. Enjoy.

"Hey, honey, I have something to ask you," Collins said, on May Day. The school year was coming to a close and he was able to spend more and more time with Sam.

"What's up?" Sam asked him, looking up at him. He was lounging in their desk chair in their apartment and Collins was standing behind him, his hands on Sam's shoulders.

"I was wondering if you would like to go to Greece," Collins asked.

Sam looked surprised. "Really?" he asked. "How can we afford it?"

"Ever since my original trip back in the 80's, I've been saving up to go again," Collins said. "Believe me when I say we could leave tomorrow and afford to go. Plus, my European friends insist I come back again and will help pay for the ticket."

Sam's eyebrows rose, surprised. "Wow," he said, "um… well, it sounds great. I... I would love to go."

Collins beamed at him. "I'm so glad," he said, and he leaned over and hugged Sam's shoulders. "We'll let the others know as soon as we can. We don't want to just leave them and then be gone for a summer. Melanie would kick my ass."

Sam laughed. "She would," he agreed.

Collins smiled. "I'm so glad you are coming with me," he said to Sam.

"Me too," Sam said, smiling back at him.

* * *

"What do you _mean,_ you're going to Greece?" Melanie demanded, cornering Collins as he told her the news in the kitchen the next day.

"I mean, we're taking a vacation," Collins said calmly. "Sam and I both are. Besides, I've been saving up for this for forever, years, and I really want to do it again and see my European friends again. It'll be great to get some true getaway time for both of us."

Melanie still looked furious. "And were you planning on telling me any of this before you just up and left?" she demanded.

"I'm telling you now," Collins said patiently.

Melanie sucked in a deep breath and glared at him. "Well, fine, but when do you leave?" she asked.

"We're leaving May 28 and coming back on August 10," Collins said.

"Wow," Melanie said, sinking into a chair and putting her hand to her head. "Wow. I just can't seem to wrap my brain around this; you being gone, I mean."

"We'll call you when we get there, but we won't be calling much, since overseas roaming charges are a bitch," Collins said, grinning. His expression softened when Melanie did not laugh. "Baby girl, I promise we'll come back," he said, quieter. "We won't like Greece so much that we stay forever."

Melanie nodded and stood up and hugged him. "You'd better not. You're not allowed to." Collins shook his head. "OK, I'm convinced," she said. "Just be careful, sweetie, OK? I won't be able to know how you're doing over there and I'll worry."

"Don't, Baby girl, we will, or else we know you would bring us back from the dead and kill us yourself," Collins assured her, smiling. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Besides, Sam doesn't know this yet, but we can have an opportunity to get married there. It won't be legally observed in the States, but I'm sure he'll want to do that there anyway. It'll be my surprise to him."

Melanie nodded. "That's excellent, I'm happy for you," she said.

"Thanks, Baby girl," Collins said, hugging her and kissing her on the top of her head. "I'll miss you while I'm gone."

"I'll miss you, too, Collins," Melanie said, smiling.

Collins left to go back to his and Sam's apartment below the loft to pack for their trip. Roger entered the room.

"What's going on?" he asked, confused. "I heard you yelling at Collins. You never yell at Collins. Is something wrong?"

"He just told me he and Sam are leaving in a couple weeks for an entire summer in Greece!" Melanie fumed.

"Wow," Roger said, surprised, "that's big. When do they leave?"

"May 28," Melanie said. "He said they'll be back on August 10, to get settled back down again and get Collins prepared to teach in the fall, since school starts on the 25th. He says he's gonna skip tutoring this summer to go to Greece with Sam, and… oh, I could just kill him right now!"

"Why, baby, if they'll be happy there?" Roger asked. "You know as well as I do that Sam and Collins deserve a big break like this. They both work hard at their jobs and they need some true time together, alone. They can take care of themselves."

"Yeah, but you and I also know that, although Collins can take care of himself, sometimes he doesn't and then things tend to go wrong," Melanie said. "Like, he won't admit if he gets sick or something."

"Sam won't let him do that," Roger said. "Don't worry, they'll be fine. They'll call us when they get there and then they'll be back before you know it. I bet they'll bring lots of pictures."

"They'd better," Melanie said, "or I might have to kill Collins."

"Don't, baby, it'll be fine," Roger said, smiling, and taking her into his arms.

* * *

As they were packing to leave for Greece in the morning, Sam noticed Collins was coughing off and on every fifteen minutes or so. "How long have you had that cough, honey?" he asked Collins.

"It's just a tickle in my throat," Collins said, brushing it off. "I just need some water, then I'll be fine. I've had this for almost a week. That cold I'd had around Simon and Leo's third birthday went away, but I think it is back now, that's all."

Sam got him a glass of water from the bathroom and he was fine after drinking it.

"See, I told you," Collins said. "It's just the changing weather. When we get to Greece and I get accustomed to it, I'll be fine."

Sam was not convinced. "With you, it's never 'that's all'," he said. "You get to sleep early tonight, all right? Our flight leaves at 6 a.m. tomorrow, so we have to be there by 4:30 to wait, in case of delays and with baggage and such."

"Disgusting," Collins said. Sam smiled, agreeing. "At least we can sleep on the plane."

Sam nodded. "Indeed," he said, agreeing. Although he was concerned about this minor cough Collins had, he was also very excited to spending the summer with his lover in Greece.

* * *

On their second day in Greece, they were touring the Parthenon when Sam noticed Collins was coughing again. He had slept most of the two flights to Greece and had been OK their first day. "Are you OK, honey?" he asked Collins.

Collins nodded. "I'm fine," he said, "I'm just thirsty. If I can get some water, let's continue with the tour. I don't want to slow us down."

"Honey, if you aren't feeling good, I don't want you to be out in the open," Sam said. "If you're feeling off, even slightly, I want to take you back to our hotel so you can rest and relax."

"Sam, I'm fine," Collins said, brushing him off. "Really, I am."

"Sweetie, I know you think you're fine, but with you, even a minor cough can turn into a death sentence, fast," Sam said. "Please, I am asking if you'll consult a doctor about this."

Collins rolled his eyes. He wanted Sam to stop badgering him about the matter, but he knew nothing he said would succeed at doing so. Sam knew too much about him to not see past anything he said or did.

"All right," he said, "so if I see a doctor, will you stop worrying?"

Sam nodded. "I will be more comfortable about the whole thing," he said.

Collins nodded. "OK, so how do we go about getting a doctor?" he asked. "Even though I study Greek philosophy, I don't know any Greek."

"We can find a Grecian who speaks enough English to refer us to an English-speaking doctor, or we can take a local along with us to translate," Sam said calmly. He went up to a local Grecian. "Excuse me, but we need to consult a doctor for this cough. It's non-emergency. Do you have anyone you recommend?"

The Grecian told Sam the name and Sam nodded. He turned to Collins as the Grecian walked off, and said, "There, simple as that. We have the doctor now to tell us if anything is going on." Collins frowned and Sam added, "If it is nothing, then I will drop it, I promise."

"And if it is?" Collins asked nervously. "You aren't going to make us cancel the rest of our trip, are you?"

"If I have to, I will," Sam said. Collins gaped, aghast. "I'm sorry, sweetie, but your health is paramount to me. If I have to cancel the rest of our trip to get you back home safe and sound and healthy again, I will."

Collins rolled his eyes, but allowed Sam to walk with him down the street to find the clinic.

* * *

"Hello, Mr. Collins, I'm Doctor Sion," the doctor said, as he walked into the exam room Sam and Collins waited in. Collins was sitting on the examination table, swinging his long legs in a bored manner. Sam was sitting in a chair by the doctor's desk. "The nurse told me you have been experiencing a cold, Mr. Collins?"

"Yes. I'm HIV-positive, so it's usually not just a cold," Collins said.

"Well, Mr. Collins—"

"Please, call me Collins. Mr. Collins makes me sound old."

"Well, since you are HIV-positive, I want to do a T-cell count, which we can do with a simple blood draw, in addition to a full physical exam, OK?" Doctor Sion asked. "And I would also like to do a chest x-ray."

"OK, whatever you need to do, just so Sam stops worrying," Collins said, sending a smirk Sam's way. Sam rolled his eyes, not amused.

Doctor Sion smiled encouragingly and began his examination, which included Collins telling him what his normal T-cell count was. "You are physically healthy, except for your cold and your T-cells are lower than what you tell me is average for you with your HIV, which is around 325. You are at 315 right now. Your chest x-ray does show some minor fluid build-up in the lungs, which, if it gets any worse at all or causes pain or any degree of discomfort, I want you to call me and we will schedule surgery to fix this. Keep taking your AZT twice a day and I'm going to prescribe you these antibiotics," he said. "I want to see you again in two weeks and then, again before you head back home to the United States at the end of the season."

"OK," Collins said, "thank you, Doctor."

"You're welcome, Collins. Good luck," Doctor Sion said, smiling as Collins and Sam left the room.

"See," Sam said to Collins, as they were walking back to their rental car outside, "I told you we should get it checked out. You are sick."

"The fresh air will do me good. I'll be fine in a few days, honey. You'll see," Collins said.

"You know the others at home won't be as easily convinced as I am sometimes, Collins," Sam said seriously. "They will see right through your charade. You won't be able to fool them. They'll be angry with you if you keep this from them and they find out the wrong way."

"Why are you so worried?" Collins snapped. "I'll tell them when we get home, OK? I promise."

Sam closed his eyes, not wanting to get angry with Collins. "All right," he said. "So what next, honey? How does Crete sound?"

"Crete sounds great," said Collins.

* * *

On August 10, Roger, Melanie, Mark, and Maureen hugged mugs of coffee and tea in the Moondance Diner, waiting for Sam and Collins' cab from the airport. All four were very nervous about seeing Sam and Collins, especially Collins, after an entire summer of not hearing from them.

Sam and Collins entered the café, their voices quiet but light. The group immediately stood, upon seeing them, and Roger stuffed his hands into his pockets. Melanie reached in and laced her fingers through his and brought his hand out of the pocket to beside her hip. He smiled at the gesture, but did not look at her. She knew he was the most nervous of all of them about seeing Sam and Collins again after so long.

Collins and Sam grinned as they walked up to Roger, Melanie, Mark, and Maureen (Katie, Joanne, and Madeline were at home with Simon, Leo, Sophia, and Bennett.) They both looked exhausted from the trip, but greeted everyone with their usual gusto.

"Hey, man," Collins said to Roger, hugging him.

"Hello, Thomas," Roger said in return, patting Collins on the back.

Collins moved on to hug Mark. "Hey, Collins," Mark said. "Good trip?"

"Yeah, it was good," Collins said. "I'm glad to be home, though." He looked at Maureen. "Hey, Mo."

"Hi, Collins," she said, as she hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. For some unknown reason, she was uncharacteristically quiet. Melanie guessed Maureen was probably as worried about Collins as she was.

"Has everything been OK while we've been gone?" Collins asked.

Maureen nodded. "Everything's been fine. We're glad you're home, though," she said.

Collins finally turned, beaming, to face Melanie. "And here's Baby girl," he said. "I missed you after our first phone call. You haven't changed a bit."

"I missed you, too, Collins," Melanie said, smiling and hugging him. She noticed the gentle giant was thinner than before. "And I couldn't have possibly changed since you last saw me, it's only been eight week." She laughed, then looked at him seriously. "Are you OK? I mean, really?"

"I'm fine," Collins said. As soon as he said this, however, he turned his head to the side and coughed into a handkerchief he pulled from his pocket.

"How long have you had that cough, Collins?" Mark asked, immediately concerned.

"It's just a scratchy throat, the weather is really dry here," Collins said, brushing it off. "As soon as I get some good Moondance coffee, I'll be good to go."

"That was more than scratchy," Roger commented.

They sat down in a booth and ordered coffee and water. Collins and Sam ordered fish and chips, since neither of them had had anything to eat on the plane and they were hungry.

After taking a drink of his water, Mark looked at Collins, his expression set in a firm line. "Seriously, Collins, what's up? Are you sick?" he asked seriously. "Please tell us the truth."

Collins was still and silent for a moment, and then he answered.

"It's PCP."

Roger's throat choked up and he swallowed hard, trying not to lose it in front of Collins. Maureen gasped quietly next to him. Melanie's hand flew to her mouth. Mark, however, remained fixed on Collins, the steadiest of the group. "Go on," he urged.

"I noticed I had a cough when we were packing," Collins admitted. "I thought it would go away when I got some good fresh air and activity in Greece, but it only got worse. We consulted a doctor there and he said it was a cold. But as the summer progressed, it turned into PCP, where it remains now. The doctor said there was some fluid in my lungs before we left to come back here and that I should have surgery here to get it removed, before it builds up too much and starts to cause pain and discomfort. I had it removed once already back in Greece, and sooner or later, I'll need to get it removed here, too."

He paused and looked at the others. None of them knew what to say. If Collins had already accepted his fate, they knew they had no choice but to do the same.

"How are you taking it, Sam?" Mark asked, looking at Sam.

"OK," Sam said, shrugging. "I told him to get it checked out in the first place."

Mark nodded. "Good," he said. He sent a frown at Collins. "We all know that sometimes the great philosopher tries to beat himself at his own game. Don't even try to deny it, Collins."

Collins shook his head, blushing. He wasn't.

"How long do you have?" Melanie asked, jumping to the important part.

"Six months to a year," Collins said quietly.

Mark paused before speaking. "If there's anything we can do," he said, "just let us know, OK, Collins? We want to help."

"OK," Collins said. "Right now, I just want to go back to the loft and hang out with everybody."

"OK, we can do that," Mark said, smiling at him.

* * *

They arrived back at the loft, where Katie, Joanne, and Madeline were babysitting Simon, Leo, Sophia, and Bennett. Sam and Collins had gone downstairs briefly to get Collins' oxygen tank and mask, which he explained he needed more as the day wore on and he became more tired. All three women were shocked, Joanne more than the other two, at the bad news. But since Collins was taking care of himself, and Sam taking care of him whether he liked it or not, everyone felt a little better about it all and were able to celebrate Sam and Collins' homecoming.

Halfway through the party, Melanie noticed Roger get up and leave the room. She met Collins' gaze, which seemed to say, "You should go after him."

So she did. Melanie followed Roger out, giving him several seconds' head-start. She followed him up to the roof, where she found him sitting on a chair, staring at his hands.

"Roger?" she asked quietly.

Roger looked up at her briefly and then returned to looking at his hands. Melanie went over to him and put her hand on his shoulder. He was very tense.

"Roger, why'd you bolt like that? Do you want to talk about it?" she asked him.

"No," Roger said firmly.

"Why not, baby? You should talk to me if it's bothering you," Melanie said.

Roger noticed the way Melanie said 'it' was bothering him, not 'something'. She already knew. It was obvious. But he felt so conflicted at the moment, he didn't' know how to say what he was feeling.

"Those things will kill you, you know," Melanie said, looking at the cigarette in his hand. He had stopped smoking when they had started going out again long ago, but he smoked occasionally when he was nervous or scared or stressed.

"I'm counting on it," Roger said darkly.

Melanie glared at him. "Honey, we need to talk about it," she said. "Please, why won't you talk to me about this?"

"Why do you _want_ to talk about it?" Roger asked roughly. "OK, fine. I'm worried about Collins." His voice was harsher than he intended. Melanie nodded, a silent prod for him to go on. "He's never sick. So for him to get sick this fast is just... a reminder of what's going to happen to me. I can't sit in there and look at him and be reminded."

Melanie nodded. "But he's on antibiotics and Sam is taking care of him," she said. "He has quite a while yet to live. He's not gone yet."

"Yet," Roger said pessimistically. He closed his eyes. "It's just too hard, the fact that I'm next, whether I like it or not. Then we'll all have died from this fucking disease and I will have left you and the boys and Madeline and Brianna too soon."

Melanie blinked rapidly several times to fight back her tears that formed at Roger's harsh words. "All you can do is be there for him," she said. "If it was you in his place, he would be there for you. You know he would. We all would."

"Maybe, but still, I'm not sure I can handle him going," Roger said. "We all thought Angel was so strong, but when it happened, she was gone just that quickly. It's not going to be much different with Collins."

Melanie nodded. "We'll deal with it together when that time comes," she said.

"It's like you said; we're cursed. With Mimi and Angel and Collins and Brianna, our lives get so, so good, and then it all comes crashing down on us," Roger said. "What did we do to deserve this, the disease, the pain, the tears, the heartbreak, the grief, the despair, the unknown?"

"Nothing, Roger," Melanie said. "We deserve none of it at all. You know that."

Roger nodded. "I know." He looked down at her. "Tell the others I'll be back in a while. I just need a little air. It's really warm in there."

The truth was it was hotter outside than in the loft itself, but Roger wasn't going to admit this.

"I will," Melanie said. She took his hand and held it for a moment before going back down. He would come back down when he was ready.

"Is Roger OK?" Katie asked, bouncing three-year-old Sophia on her knee.

"He'll be all right," Melanie said. "He just needs a few minutes."

Katie nodded and the two best friends came to a silent conclusion. Katie knew Roger was the most scared of all of them that Collins was sick, because he was afraid he would be next. Whether he liked it or not, he was next, but nobody liked something like that to be thrown in his face.

"He'll be OK, you know," Katie said, trying her best to sound confident, "I mean, for a while."

Melanie nodded silently. She wasn't convinced, but hearing her best friend saying that made her feel slightly better.

Next chapter will be up as soon as possible. Maybe by the end of tonight, if I don't get busy. The next chapter will be even more emotional, just so you're warned. As always, don't forget to review. I love feedback, hearing what people think of my story. Thanks.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	19. Raw

This chapter, which is a _lot _longer than usual, is Sam/Collins-centric and will be very emotional. This is your only warning.

A week later, Collins was awakening from a feverish sleep. He was coughing a horrible, wracking cough and sweating badly and not sleeping. Sam had barely slept for three days because he had to wake Collins up every time he stopped breathing for even a moment. Sam was taking time off from the Gershwin to care for Collins. Collins was on oxygen full-time now, sleeping with a C-PAP at night.

Sam went into the bathroom and brought his lover a glass of water. He held it up while Collins sipped from it. He stopped drinking after a moment and lay back against his pillows, weak and frail and thin. Sam turned on the television and climbed into bed with his lover. He flipped through the channels until Collins saw something he wanted to see. It was the old version of the movie "Hairspray", which Sam hated with a vengeance, but since it was what Collins wanted, he left it on that channel and watched it with him.

"Honey," he said, as the movie concluded and Collins was almost asleep, his head resting on Sam's shoulder, "I think we really should go to the hospital about this. You're getting worse every day."

Collins opened his eyes and looked up at him. "No."

Sam had expected this immediate refusal, but it still annoyed him. However, he kept his temper in check.

"Sweetie, I'm really concerned about this," he said. "You have been taking the antibiotics and the AZT and you still seem to be getting worse. I wish you would go to a hospital when the time comes."

"No," Collins said firmly. "I hate hospitals, Sam, you know that."

"Why, honey?" Sam asked him, although he guessed he knew the answer.

"Hospitals are only a reminder to me of Angel dying, of why she died," Collins said. "We put her in a hospital as soon as we found out she was getting worse and she died there. I can't stand that again. I won't have it for me. I won't die incompetent with a tube stuck down my throat."

"Sweetie, if giving you the treatment gives you a few more weeks, months, than why not do it?" Sam asked. "I don't know why they stopped treating her, but it was probably not because of her being transsexual. It was probably because they knew there was nothing more they could do. Eventually, it gets to be that way."

Collins cringed. "Don't remind me," he said.

"I'm not trying to," Sam said, "but if you don't get the treatment, when there _is _treatment that can help this, then I think you should get it. I, for one, cannot stand to see you do this to yourself, letting yourself die!"

"Then don't."

Sam's eyes flashed at Collins' harsh words. "No. Don't even say that! How dare you think I won't be here until the very end? I love you more than anything in the world. I would give up my own life to see you live on and be with our friends and family. I know this is really hard for you, but it's also really hard for the rest of us. What are you afraid of?"

Collins considered that for a moment. "Time and not having enough of it," he said.

"So get the treatment and get yourself more time," Sam said. "Did you get a chance to go to the doctor today, honey?"

"Yes. He said my T-cells are lower and that it's advancing faster than normal. He said the same stuff as the doctor in Greece. I don't know why I even went," Collins said.

"Well, what does that mean, for you, for us?" Sam asked.

"For me, it means another surgery to get the fluid buildup removed. I have six months to a year. What do you _think _it means for us?"

Sam paused, stunned at Collins' words and the verdict. "We only have six months to a year left to be together?" he asked. "I think it means things will get harder and we just have to depend on each other even more."

"I don't want to check into a hospital. I don't want to live the rest of my time with a tube stuck down my throat, incoherent," Collins said. "It'll be too hard on you and everybody else."

"Honey, it will be hard on me no matter what we do," Sam said. "You are so considerate and I appreciate it so much. Watching you slowly die is never going to be easy to watch. It will be harder to watch you die here, without help, where there is nothing I could do to ease the pain you are feeling. I know hospitals make you think of Angel, but if it buys you more time, even a few weeks or months extra, isn't it worth doing?"

"It only prolongs the inevitable. Why do that? You will be dreading my death more, and you won't be able to do anything if I go to a hospital. You are not a doctor. You will not be allowed to be with me, even when I die. Do you want that? If I am home, you can be with me."

"You keep saying you are scared of running out of time, so why wouldn't it make sense to take the extra time to get the treatment, honey? And why couldn't I be with you? I think you're wrong about that. In hospice rooms, they encourage people to spend time in the rooms of their loved ones, so that excuse is out. Did you really just ask me if I wanted to be kicked out of the room while you were dying? How could you ask me something like that?"

"I thought they didn't allow gay or lesbian couples to be in the room with their dying loved ones?" Collins asked, confused. "That's what I have heard. If not, yes, I want you to be with me."

"You were with Angel," Sam pointed out. "They won't let me make decisions for you, but they can't stop me from being there when you go." Sam scowled at him. "Why are you being so hostile? I am trying to help you and you are acting like I am the one preventing proper care."

"Why wouldn't they let you make decisions? I have no real family anymore to do so in your place. I am _scared_. Wouldn't you be if you were basically condemned to drown to death because of a disease? That's what is happening to me. My body is against me. My lungs are filling with fluid, that's why I've been coughing. I can keep getting surgeries to remove the fluid, but eventually, the disease will progress to where that won't even help."

"I know you are scared, but baby, you gotta know I am, too," Sam pleaded with him. "You have to stop treating me like I am the bad guy. Every day, I wake up in the night to check and make sure you are still breathing, that you haven't been taken from me without a chance to say goodbye. Every night, I dream you are gone, and it kills me every time. You aren't the only one affected by all this!" Collins said nothing. "Damn it, Tom, you have to say something! I just poured my heart and my worries out to you and you say nothing? You gotta say something, damn it!"

Sam's voice rose uncharacteristically to a yell. Above them, Mark and Katie were relaxing in bed before going to sleep. Katie was reading a Shakespeare play and Mark was making notes about his upcoming documentary. They could hear Sam and Collins' voices echoing up from the floor beneath them. They looked at each other, concerned.

"Something's up," Mark said, as he listened. "I should go check it out."

Katie nodded. "OK, Mark, but be careful," she said.

"I will." Mark quickly put on a pair of jeans and pulled on a shirt. He went out of the room and Katie got out of bed and followed him over to the fire escape doors, where he gave her a swift kiss before leaving. Katie sat in a chair and waited for him to return.

Mark descended the stairs quickly and let himself in through the front door. Collins and Sam were standing a few feet from each other, arguing. Collins was yelling whenever he could get a breath. Sam was not making this easy for him.

"Guys, what's going on?" Mark asked quickly, as he entered the flat.

"Tom refuses to get treatment for his condition, which can give him a few more weeks or months," Sam said through gritted teeth. He glared at Collins. "You might be selfless and compassionate, but you're also a hypocrite and a coward."

Collins lunged himself at Sam, using his weight more than his strength, but Mark got between them and somehow pried them apart before the argument could come to actual blows.

"Hey, knock it off!" Mark yelled at both of them. They both relaxed, but he did not let his guard down. "Look, you are both very emotionally raw right now, but it doesn't help matters that you are trying to rip each other apart and insulting each other."

He looked from one man to the other.

"If you two are at such odds, then don't sleep together tonight. Sam,"— he looked at Sam, whose eyes were blazing and his expression was furious— "I understand that Collins needs to be cared for, but I will see to that tonight, even though he will protest." Mark glared at a protesting Collins. "So go upstairs and stay in one of our two spare bedrooms we have. Katie won't mind in the slightest. She knows what's going on and will want to help. I wouldn't be surprised if she is expecting you, even. I will stay down here and look after Collins tonight. Get whatever you will need tonight and then go. Now. No arguments."

"Fine," Sam said stiffly, after a moment's pause. "But will you call me at any change?"

"You have my word."

Sam nodded. He turned and began to collect a few things he would need; boxers, a change of clothes for the morning, his toothbrush and toothpaste, and a hairbrush and shaving toiletries. He put them in a toiletries bag and stormed out of the flat and went up the fire escape stairs to the loft.

Mark turned and looked at Collins. "Now," he said firmly, "you are going to get back in bed. And whether you like it or not, we are going to talk about this."

Collins scowled at him, but followed orders nevertheless. He walked slowly back to the bedroom, dragging his oxygen tank behind him, and Mark followed. Collins climbed into the bed and Mark sat in a chair next to his bed. "Now, let's talk about this." After a moment of awkward silence, Mark prodded Collins verbally, saying, "What the hell, Collins? You are never like this, physically violent toward Sam? What's gotten into you?"

There was a stunned pause in the conversation, then Collins said, "I... I don't know what came over me. I was just so suddenly and overwhelmingly angry."

"So you take it out on Sam? Collins, I can't even begin to imagine how hard this is, how angry you must be; angry at God for giving you this damn disease, the hospital for giving you that dirty blood back then. It isn't fair at all, man, but it really isn't fair to treat Sam like this, when all he's trying to do is help."

"I didn't mean to," Collins said. "We both just got carried away. And you stopped me, didn't you? I didn't hit him."

"I know. I'm glad I could," Mark said. He paused for a moment, thinking. "You know, it is like when you were screaming at Roger as he was coming off of his high. You told him how unfair he was being and how he needed to get those emotions under control after that and start the withdrawal and detox process. Now I am here to tell you the same thing, although it's a different situation. It isn't fair to Sam to bear the brute of your rage. Why don't you go to Life Support and talk it out there?" Mark suggested. "Or with me? I'm always willing to listen."

"I have been to Life Support, but I don't want to talk about it there," Collins said stubbornly. "I have always been more worried about the others than myself. I don't mind talking to you."

"Then tell me about it," Mark said.

"What more is there to say?" Collins asked. "I think I have said it all."

"How do you feel? You have said all of the clinical stuff, but nothing about your emotions; at least, not to me."

"I am really scared of my body being against me in more ways than one. I am angry at the people who gave me that dirty blood that day of the car crash Brian died in. I am angry at God for letting them do that to me. If I could have one wish, it would be to have a normal life and have a family with Sam until I'm old. But I won't. It isn't fair."

"Life is never fair," Mark said. "But if you had never got AIDS, you probably never would have met Angel and become as close as you did. She did you a world of good. I know you know that."

Collins nodded. "Yeah, you're right," he said. "I hope I don't bring her up too much to Sam. I love Sam just as much. I don't know why I don't say it as often to him as I did to her."

"Collins, Sam knows you love him just as much as you loved Angel. She was so much a part of you that she deserves to be talked about," Mark encouraged him.

"I know. I want to be more comfortable talking about her around him. I think it is just going to take more time and effort than I am giving it now," Collins said.

"Why aren't you comfortable talking about her with him?" Mark asked.

"I guess I don't want him to feel like he is not as good as Angel was," Collins admitted. "I suppose I will have to talk to him about that."

"You need to stop trying to make decisions for him," Mark said. "You need just to tell him things flat out and see what happens. It's not fair to either of you to keep things bottled up like this."

"I don't mean to, it's just the way I am," Collins said. "You saw how I only interfered at Angel's funeral when I had to, once the four of them got out of control. I try to avoid intense situations and conflict."

"I know. But in the... rest of your time," Mark said awkwardly, also struggling himself to get past saying that, "shouldn't honesty be a key?"

Collins nodded. "Yes, it should, you're right," he said. "I will try to be more honest from now on. Angel would want me to be." Mark nodded. "We were always open about everything. It was very easy."

"Angel was an amazing person. You usually have to work at relationships. If not, then something's probably not right. I know there are times when I don't want to tell Katie everything, because it would be easier not to. I just have to know it isn't fair to her for me to keep things from her."

Collins nodded. "I will try to be more honest in the future," he said. "It seems better sometimes not to say everything, but I'll try to."

Mark nodded and squeezed Collins' shoulder gently. "Good," he said. "Now get some rest. I'll be making notes on the couch if you need me. I won't be far."

"OK. Thanks, Mark," Collins said. Then he settled down to sleep.

* * *

Katie jumped, startled, as Sam came in through the fire escape windows, fuming. She had been expecting him, but not like this. She could tell Mark had ended the argument, although not on good terms. He looked very frustrated and angry. "Sam?"

Sam jumped as well. "Oh," he said, looking at her, sitting in the chair in her nightgown. "Sorry, Katie, I... Mark sent me up here."

"I know," Katie said. "I was expecting you." She indicated for him to sit on the couch and he did so. "I think I can guess what happened. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes," Sam said. He seemed to be struggling internally. "But I… I don't know how to get the words out." He looked at her helplessly, lost for words.

Katie thought for a moment about how she could possibly begin this conversation to give him a nudge about how to explain himself. "I can't imagine how hard this is for you, watching Collins like this, especially when you know you could do something more to help him," she said.

"I cannot force him to accept any help. That's the power of free will. But if I say I've done everything I can for him, I feel like I'm being selfish and that kills me. There _is _more that can be done to help him, but he won't let it," Sam said, after a moment of thinking.

"Sweetie, I know you feel like there is nothing more you can do to help him and you want to help him so badly it hurts. Your being there for him is the best thing you can do right now," Katie said. "Collins is going to need to talk about this, and you listening is the best thing. Talk to him about how you are feeling. Don't just pretend everything is OK. He would hate that."

"But if we talk about it, we end up fighting, then if things get too deep, separate and alone," Sam said. "It hurts too much to talk about it, just as much as it does not to." He closed his eyes to prevent the tears from flowing and clenched his hands up next to his face. "I don't know what's right anymore. I wish we hadn't gone to that doctor in Greece. If we hadn't, we would have had more of a time of our lives and things wouldn't be this way. I just want so badly to protect him, but he can't see that because he's too goddamn stubborn for his own good."

"Honey, even if you hadn't talked to the doctor in Greece, he would still be deteriorating. Nothing you can do will ever change this, him having PCP, I mean. This way, you know about it and can appreciate the time you have left with him. You can't protect him forever." Sam flinched. "I know you want to, but you can't. Keeping what you are feeling bottled up will only result in more incidents like tonight. The only way to get through it is talking to each other. You have to support each other."

"It would be so much easier to support him if he stopped rejecting everything everyone says is for his own good," Sam said. "I feel so bad for him; he has lost his only true loves to terrible ways, Brian in that car crash and Angel to AIDS. Now it's me losing him to a different, terrible disease. It isn't fair at all."

"I wish I could just tell you something that would make it easier. Honestly, there is no way to make it easier. I know it is hard to fight him like this," Katie said, "but you're doing what is best."

"By fighting with him?" Sam asked.

"No, by being there for him, even though you are fighting," Katie said. "You are showing him how much you care, even though you're yelling at him." She paused. "Talk to him as much as you can before he goes."

"Before he _goes_?"

"Yes, before he goes, because no matter what you do, whether he gets the treatment or not, or whether you two stop fighting about this and start being honest, Collins is going to die," Katie said. "That day he told you at the Moondance, his prognosis was not good. It's only getting worse. You know as well as I do he probably is not going to last the winter. But his passing, no matter when it happens, will be worse if neither of you talk. I know how hard it is to lose someone with the feeling like you've left so many things unsaid."

Sam looked at her suddenly. "I forgot," he said sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be being so selfish. I'm not disturbing your girls, am I? If I am, I'll go right to bed now. I don't want to cause any more trouble than I already have."

Katie sighed and placed her hands on Sam's shoulders. "Sam, that's not what I meant at all," she said. "I just mean I know how hard that feeling is. I would hate for you to feel that way when you don't need to. And disturbing the girls? I feel like an earthquake could happen and they would not wake up. Please don't leave. I wanna talk to you about this."

Sam nodded. "Don't worry," he assured her, "I'm not going anywhere. Mark told me to stay here tonight. If I don't, he might kick my as. Plus, I can be nearby to Collins, even if he doesn't want me to be. You know what he said to me tonight?" Sam looked at her seriously. "He said if I don't want to watch him die, then I just shouldn't. I don't know where the hell he came up with that. I love him so much, I ran off to Greece with him with barely a week's preparation! We were unofficially married there, you know," he added, quieter. "By that, I mean it isn't official or legal in the U.S., at least everywhere but Connecticut. But that does not matter to me. He surprised me by proposing. I was… I _am _married to him in my mind."

"Of course it is OK if you stay here," Katie said. "We have more room than we know what to do with. I wouldn't have it any other way. He wants you near him, you know this. He just said that because it's easier to yell at you than to admit how scared he is or that he's wrong. He wants you to stay. I'm so glad you got to get married." She smiled. "Y'all deserve it."

Sam nodded and sighed resignedly. "OK, I'll talk to him tomorrow. It won't be easy, but I will try. I don't like keeping things from him. He did that for a little while before our trip and during, and I didn't like it at all. Honesty is the biggest part of a relationship, I think. I don't mean to keep anything from him, but that's just how I am sometimes and I hate that. I will talk to him as soon as we both get up tomorrow. I'll invite him to breakfast in Chinatown or something, just him and me."

Katie squeezed his shoulders encouragingly. "That sounds like a great idea," she said. "It will help. You'll see." She paused, waiting to see if he wanted to say more. "Good. So do you want to talk about anything else?"

Sam shook his head. "I don't think so," he said. "I just needed to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening."

"Of course," Katie said, "I'm glad we got to talk."

"Me too," Sam said. He stood up. "Well, I'm off to bed, I think. If you need any help with the girls, don't hesitate to wake me."

"I will, but I don't think you have anything to worry about," Katie said, smiling at him. "They are very good girls." Sam nodded. "And stay in the city tomorrow, if you find the conversation starting to flow and tonight's incident going away. Make it more than that. Make it count. And no worries about our talk, that's what I am here for."

Sam nodded again. "OK. Thanks, Katie. Good night, I'll see you in the morning," he said.

"Yep," Katie said, nodding, "good night, Sam."

* * *

The next morning, Sam went downstairs to his and Collins' flat as soon as he was up and dressed. Sam knocked and went in. Mark and Collins were both sitting at the table, drinking coffee.

"Morning," Sam said.

"Morning, Sam," Mark said. "Did Katie treat you all right last night?"

Sam nodded. "Yes, of course," he said. "We talked."

"Good," Mark said. "Did it help?"

Sam nodded. "Yes," he said.

"Good," Mark said. "Well, I'm going to head upstairs. I need to help Katie out."

"OK. See you later, Mark," Sam said to Mark.

Mark nodded and walked out of the flat. He climbed up the fire escape stairs to the loft. Sam looked at Collins, who still had not said a word. Sam stood nearby to the door, but could still hear his oxygen tank as he breathed in and out.

"Look, about last night—" he began.

"I don't want to talk about it," Collins immediately cut him off.

"Well, I think we _need_ to talk about it, so I'm inviting you to breakfast," Sam said.

"What?" Collins asked indifferently.

"You heard. I'm inviting you to breakfast," Sam said, "just you and me and Chinatown. Come on, please?"

Collins looked at Sam and his expression softened. "Well... OK," he said.

"Good," Sam said, a cheerful smile plastered on his face. "Get ready. I'll wait for you."

"OK," Collins said.

He went to go get dressed and Sam went with him. "Do you need help, honey?" he asked.

"No, I think I can still dress myself, last I checked, thanks," Collins snapped.

Sam swallowed and nodded. "OK," he said. "I'll just... wait for you out in the living room, OK?"

"OK, I'll be out soon," Collins said.

Sam nodded and went out to the living room to wait for Collins.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Sam and Collins were sitting outside in a café in Chinatown, waiting for a waitress to come take their orders. They had lemonade and water in glasses and pitchers in front of them. Sam took a deep breath and began to speak.

"Those things you said yesterday, we need to talk about them. It breaks my heart that you think I won't be here to the end," Sam said. "Why did you say those things yesterday? Do you know how much that killed me?"

Collins closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm just so scared of not having enough time anymore, with you or Roger or Mark or Mel or the kids, all of you. I just wish I had more time. I'm also dead scared of where I'll end up when I do die, with the way I've lived my life, burning in Hell or glorious in Heaven." His expression was set. "There, you said you wanted honesty and you got it."

"Just because you know I'm going to stick around doesn't mean you can be so mean," Sam chided him. "If you go to Hell, I'm right there beside you. You are the most compassionate, good man I know. You aren't going to Hell just because you're gay."

"Well, not only being gay, but also, like, smoking marijuana, swearing, betrayal, all those things add up, don't they?" Collins asked.

"Not enough to condemn such a sweet man," Sam said. "Why didn't you say any of this last night, instead of yelling at me like you did?"

"I don't know, I was scared, I guess. I still am. I don't want a hospital. They'll only make it worse. They couldn't save my Angel; not that they tried. Once they found out she was transsexual, they stopped treating her. They refused to continue treating her, but they couldn't throw us out. It tore me apart. I blame them for her death. So you can see why I do not want that for me or you or any of the others. It's so awful. It goes totally against "First, do no harm"."

"Honey, if it gives you a few more weeks, isn't that worth it? A few more weeks we can spend together? I don't want to lose you any more than you want to go. If not, can we at least get someone who will take care of you professionally at home when I can't, just someone who will make this easier for both of us, please?"

Collins considered this for a moment. On one hand, it wouldn't be a hospital; it would be at home, so he would be happy. And Sam would feel better about his whole getting treatment, no matter where at, so he would be happy as well. It seemed like this option would work out best for both of them.

"All right," he said, "I can't refuse you when you look at me like that. I'm such a sucker for your puppy eyes. I give up. You win. I'm done, so what now?"

"One more thing, then we can order breakfast," Sam said. "I just want you to know how much I love you. No matter what happens, promise me you will always talk to me when something's bothering you. I need to know you won't keep anything from me."

"I love you, too," Collins said, "so much. I promise I'll try my hardest not to keep anything from you from now on. I will work really hard on that."

"Thank you, honey. I'm glad. Now let's eat, shall we?" Sam said.

"Oh yeah, definitely, let's," Collins said, smiling at him.

This is the end of chapter 19. It is a lot longer than usual, I know. But I wanted to end it on a happy note because of what is going to happen in the next chapter. You guys can probably guess. Thanks so much to my beta, katetastic, for the times you spent role-playing with me, creating the conversations between the characters, especially Collins and Sam. You rock, chica. Thanks so much!!

I hope you guys are OK with the Sam/Collins pairing. I know there are a lot of Rentheads out there who are not OK with Collins/OC, because of how perfect Collins and Angel are. I respect Collins/Angel and love them to death, truly, I do, but I also don't believe that Collins would choose to be alone or become sad, angsty, or suicidal after Angel died, which is why I write him being paired with an OC post-Rent. I like having him paired with an OC pre-Rent, too, since we have no idea what his life was like before Rent or in high school or college and stuff. More importantly, we also don't know what words they exchanged on the train or in the hospital when Angel was dying; that's what I, with creative license ability, play off of, to give Collins someone new to love. I hope that's acceptable to the rest of you. We're supposed to be open-minded and that's one of my ways of being so.

I expect there will only be one or two more chapters before the end. I admit, I'll be glad when it's over. It's been a very long road, nearly seven months since it was originally published. I'm glad I got all my prospective ideas into it, though. That, at least, is satisfying. I'm not sure how much Rent writing I'll be doing after this story is done, in order to buckle down with the start of my second half of my freshman year of college. But you guys know me, every time I say I'm gonna take a hiatus, my muse starts to bug me with something new and I have to start again. We'll see.

Here ends my _huge _author note; sorry about that, but I had a lot to say. As always, don't forget to review. I'm really anxious to see what you guys especially think of this chapter and the next. Thanks. I love feedback.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	20. Final Words

This chapter, not half as long as the previous chapter, will also be very emotional. This is your only warning. I don't own the Idina Menzel song (and neither does my character Sam Jacobs, for that matter.) I'm simply borrowing the title from one of broadwaylover07's stories. It seemed very fitting. I hope that's OK, girl. :) Here is chapter 20. It is Collins/Sam-centric, but the Bohos and the whole gang, including Brianna, are here, too.

_Three months later..._

As October approached, Collins' condition worsened. His doctor in Manhattan told him the disease was progressing much faster than normal, due to his advanced HIV, shortening his time from six months to a year, to six months, if he was lucky.

Sam was more open about Collins' dying than he had been before, and he no longer argued with Collins about it, because Collins could not handle the stress. He was now never without oxygen. Sam was barely sleeping because he had to wake Collins up every time he stopped breathing.

Sophia and Bennett had turned four, and Sam and Collins attended the party, even though all Collins could do was sit and watch the girls play with Simon and Leo and Madeline and Brianna. He sat and relaxed and enjoyed a nice big piece of birthday cake. Brianna was doing well. She was often tired because of the chemotherapy, but the bone marrow transplant had been a success and she was getting better. She was still staying with Melanie and Roger while she received treatment, but came to see Mark, Katie, and the others, especially Collins, as often as possible.

A week before Halloween, Sam called everyone with some bad news. Jamie reported Collins' vitals were low. His breathing was shallow and infrequent and his heart rate slow. Sam asked everyone to come over as soon as possible, since Jamie, Collins' caretaker, said it looked like it wouldn't be long before Collins died.

"He's been saying that he's so tired from not being able to breathe well, that he just wants to go to sleep forever," Jamie said gently to them, when they arrived. "We've been telling him it's OK to let go and just go, but he said he wanted to see all of you first. You can go in and talk to him, one at a time. Try to keep it short, though, so everyone gets a chance to talk to him before he gets too tired or goes."

Everyone offered their condolences to Sam and spoke individually to Collins, while Sam and Jamie watched nearby. Roger, Melanie, Mark, and Maureen spoke with him the longest. By the time they were done, the last of the group, Collins' eyes were half-closed and he was very still, but still breathing. Everyone went out to the living room area to give Sam the last few minutes alone with Collins. They all knew the treatment had given him a few extra months, not just weeks, and that this is how he wanted it to be when he went, surrounded by his family.

Sam felt very conflicted as he went in to see Collins for what Jamie said was probably the last time. One part of him was full of warm, bittersweet love for Collins; the other part of him was terrified of watching Collins die for real, as much as he wanted to be with Collins until the end.

Eventually, though, the better side of him won over and he went in to see Collins. Jamie was sitting on a chair next to Collins' bed. She got up immediately when Sam entered.

"I don't mind if you stay," Sam said softly to her. "You've kept him alive this long."

Jamie shook her head. "Oh... no, I couldn't," she said. "Really, it's OK. He just wants to see you."

Sam bit his lip, then nodded. He put his hand on Jamie's shoulder, and she did the same to him. Then she left the room.

Sam blinked a few times and then went over to the bed. Collins opened his eyes when he felt Sam take his hand.

"Hey," Sam said softly.

"Hi," Collins said, his voice hoarse.

"I, um... I know it's getting harder for you to, um, breathe, so don't talk so much, OK?" Sam said awkwardly. "I just— well, Jamie said you were asking for me." Sam looked at Collins. He had really wanted to say "I wanted to be with you until the very end", but he couldn't bring himself to do so.

"I'm so glad you came," Collins said.

"So am I." Sam looked around and saw a CD player sitting in the corner of the room on the floor. Sometimes Collins listened to music on the player to help him relax when he was having a hard time breathing. Now, Sam felt, was the perfect time to give Collins one last thing.

"I, um, have something for you," Sam said awkwardly. He kept speaking to prevent his throat from closing up and the tears from flowing.

"Oh yeah, what?" Collins asked.

"A few months ago, I went with Roger to one of his recording sessions, and, well, I borrowed a couple hours' time and recorded a song... for you. I don't know if I told you?" Sam said, looking at Collins.

"No, you didn't tell me," Collins said, shaking his head.

"Well, in that case, surprise," Sam said wryly, smiling weakly. "Hold on a moment, I'll play it for you."

Sam went over to the CD player and placed the CD in and hit Play. He went back over to Collins before it started to play and took Collins hand. He started to sing with the CD, although it was him both vocalizing and accompanying himself on the piano on the CD.

_Where do I begin, my love?  
Starting with the things I haven't said enough of?  
Starting with the day that changed my life  
And ending with the way I feel tonight  
Where do I begin?_

_Where do I belong if you're not here?  
This is way beyond my darkest fear.  
I don't know where I am or where I start.  
The smiles in between are way too far.  
Where do I begin?_

_I've always counted all my blessings  
Knowing you'd defend me  
Stand by my side  
If only I didn't lose my senses  
Each time I intended  
For these words to come out right_

_Where do I begin, my love?  
Starting with the morning you brought me the sun?  
Starting with the stars from outer space  
You took a few and lit up my face  
Where do I begin?_

_I've always counted all my blessings  
Knowing you'd defend me  
Stand by my side  
If only I didn't lose my senses  
Each time I intended  
For these words to come out right_

_Where do I begin, my love?  
I always read the last page instead of the first one  
There's no need to rush it all in  
I love you and I'll say it again  
Where do I begin?  
Where do I begin?  
Where should we begin?_

Tears were running down Collins' thin cheeks when Sam finished singing.

"Oh, sweetie, don't cry," Sam said, taking both Collins' hands in his. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset," Collins said hoarsely. "That was just so beautiful."

"Thank you, sweetie, I'm so glad you liked it. It's yours," Sam said, looking down at him.

"Thank you, honey," Collins said. He was having even more difficulty taking breaths now and he seemed to be clinging to life, hesitant to let go.

Sam noticed this immediately. "It's OK, honey. You can let go. Go play those violins with Angel."

Collins smiled and nodded, then closed his eyes and peacefully slipped away. Sam swallowed hard and kissed his forehead and stood up, his eyes brimming with tears he had held back until that moment.

He turned and went out of the room. Jamie stood right by the door. Again, she placed her hands on his shoulders and, again, he did the same to her. They wiped away each others' tears. Sam looked at everyone watching them silently and took a great, shuddery breath.

"It's over."

This is the end of chapter 20. I think this was the hardest chapter I've had to write throughout the entire story. But Collins has AIDS, so eventually, he must die, like all who are positive in Rent must, at least that's my guess. Next chapter, I think, will be the epilogue. It isn't written up yet, so it might be a while before it is posted. Hopefully, I will wrap everything up well enough for it to be a good ending to the story. I think I will include Collins' funeral as well. We'll see. I'll be thinking on it these next few days and I'll try to post up before the end of my winter break, Sunday.

I don't really have a lot else to say, except please review. I'm very anxious to see what you guys thought of this chapter. Thanks.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	21. A Toast to Bohemia

I don't own "Angel" by Sarah McLaughlin. That's all I'm going to say.

Roger woke up extremely early on the morning of Collins' funeral to find Melanie's side of the bed cold, but slept in. Frowning slightly, he rolled out of bed and left the bedroom. He stepped slowly, softly down the stairs, squinting when light from the kitchen hit his eyes.

Melanie was sitting at the kitchen table, her head in her hands. But he could see she was awake.

"Baby, what are you doing up?" Roger asked, walking over to her. "It's two a.m."

Melanie jumped. She had not heard him come down.

"I can't sleep," she said. "I'm thinking about Collins. I don't know if I'll be able to make it through today."

"Why not, baby?" Roger asked.

"Burying him makes it real. It means he's really gone."

Roger sat across from her and took her hands in his. "You don't have to be strong all the time," he said.

Melanie started to cry. "But if I'm not, what will the kids think? I don't want them to see me like this, Katie or the others, either."

"Baby, you can't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders like that," Roger said. "The kids will think you lost one of your best friends and Katie and Mark have each other. You gotta take care of yourself, too."

"What about you?" Melanie asked. "You knew him even before me. I don't see you... being like this."

Roger shook his head. "Believe me, I have been," he said. "I just calmed down recently. You remember our conversation from the roof, don't you?" Melanie nodded. "You are experiencing now what I was then. Mark and I talked a while ago. We have to stick together and work through this together."

Melanie nodded again. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "You guys have so much going on right now, yet you're worrying about me."

"Why shouldn't we be?" Roger asked. "You are just as affected by Collins' death as we are."

Melanie nodded. "I guess you're right," she said. She wrapped her arms around herself. "I just hate hurting so much." She stood up. Roger watched her carefully. "I think I'm gonna go get the boys ready for the day."

Roger could see Melanie was clearly exhausted and not thinking straight; she had never handled such stressful situations, like deaths, well, and quite often needed help coping with the stress and pain. Roger vividly remembered two instances when Melanie seemed to have lost it: when her late older brother, Brian, had died during Melanie's junior year of high school, and when Melanie had become overwhelmed at the idea of originally marrying Roger after high school graduation, due to her becoming pregnant with Brianna. Roger wasn't soon going to forget them; he would do anything, if he could, to prevent such traumas from ever happening again.

"Baby, don't," he said, taking her gently by the arm. "It's two a.m. You haven't slept hardly for three days now. You need to come to bed with me. Please come to bed? Come on, I'll join you." He smiled mischievously.

Melanie rolled her eyes and laughed weakly. She loved how Roger's dirty mind could cheer her up so easily, even when she felt so lost.

"But hang on just a second," Roger said, holding up his index fingers in a pausing gesture. He went over to one of the highest cupboards that Melanie could never reach, opened it as Melanie watched curiously with one eyebrow cocked, and he took out a bottle of stoli and two shot glasses. He grinned mischievously again, a playful glint in his eyes. "Collins wouldn't let me tell you he put these up there. He knew you couldn't reach, so you would never find them. If you did, he knew you wouldn't approve."

"What? Oh, no way, those aren't really—?" Melanie asked, surprised.

"Yes, they are, the last surviving stoli bottles of Thomas Bartholomew Collins," Roger said, nodding and grinning.

Melanie couldn't resist; in spite of herself, she laughed. "Oh, my _God_."

Roger laughed and poured a shot for each of them. He raised it.

"A toast to Bohemia? To Collins?"

Melanie grinned. "Actual reality, act up, fight AIDS."

They drank to Collins, then Roger put away the bottle and shot glasses and took Melanie into his arms. "Feel better now?" he asked.

"Yes," Melanie said, nodding. "Thank you."

Roger sighed, relieved, and nodded wearily. "I love you," he said to her.

Melanie leaned against his strong chest. "I love you, too," she said.

Roger leaned down and kissed her. She deepened the kiss, running her fingers through his long blonde hair. Each felt as though they were patching a hole in the other's broken heart.

* * *

At Collins' funeral, each Boho laid a rose on Collins' casket; Melanie first, then Katie, Joanne, Mark, Maureen, Roger, and finally Sam last of all, as he was closest to Collins. Maureen walked to the altar to sing the funeral song. Sam, holding Collins' cap, wiped away her tears. She did the same for him moments later, then Sam went and sat down in the front pew next to Katie and Mark.

Maureen took a deep breath as the piano accompaniment began to play, before opening her mouth and singing.

_Spend all your time waiting  
__For that second chance  
__For a break that would make it okay  
__There's always some reason  
__To feel not good enough  
__And it's hard at the end of the day_

_I need some distraction  
__Oh, beautiful release  
__Memories seep from my veins  
__Let me be empty  
__Oh, and weightless and maybe  
__I'll find some peace tonight_

_In the arms of an angel  
__Fly away from here  
__From this dark, cold hotel room  
__And the endlessness that you fear_

_You are pulled from the wreckage  
__Of your silent reverie  
__You're in the arms of the angel  
__May you find some comfort here_

When Maureen finished singing, there was not a dry eye in the church. Even Mark was crying, holding Katie and his beautiful twin girls close for comfort.

Leo looked up at his mother and whispered, "Is Collins gone, Mommy?"

Melanie looked down at her son, still so young, only five, not sure if she herself wanted to hear this said for real.

"Yes, sweetie, Collins is gone," she replied. "He went to Heaven. Do you know what that means?"

Leo shook his head. Melanie had expected this, but didn't know how to explain it to him in a way that he would understand. They had never had pets, so she couldn't use that as an example so he understood Collins was never coming back.

"Sweetie, Heaven is the place where... people go when they get too old or sick or hurt to be alive anymore," Melanie said gently, tears cascading down her cheeks. Explaining such a concept to her son reminded her vividly of Brian and his death. The feeling of despair was almost overwhelming for her. She leaned heavily against Roger for support. She knew without looking that he was watching her.

"And that's why you're sad, Mommy, because you miss him, since he's not here anymore?" Leo asked.

"Yes, baby boy, that's why Mommy's sad," Melanie said, "because Mommy misses Collins. But I won't be this sad forever."

Leo nodded. "Good, Mommy, because I like you better when you're happy."

Melanie smiled and held Leo close, kissing his silky golden hair.

"While we are sad due to Collins' parting this life, we may take comfort in knowing it is not forever until we see him again," the priest said.

Melanie nodded silently, agreeing. The priest was right. No matter what happened to them in the next twenty, thirty, forty years, they would always have each other and know true friendship, bravery, and love. That alone was sustaining enough.

This is the end of The One That Got Away. I wanted to use "Angel" by Sarah McLaughlin for Collins' funeral song ever since I knew Collins was going to die in the story, in reference to Angel, Collins' one true love, despite what the song's real message is (coincidentally, it's about a heroin addict who overdoses in a hotel room, I believe?) I also wanted the conversation between Melanie and Leo to be with Leo specifically because I have felt that Simon has overshadowed him quite a bit in the story and he needed his moment to shine. It made sense to me. I spent several hours today thinking on how Melanie could explain death to him properly and it turned out exactly as I'd hoped, for which I'm grateful.

It's with a bittersweet feeling that I end this story. While I've enjoyed writing most of it, it's also been a long road and I'm ready for something new, or to take a break for a while (I know, I know, famous last words...) My beta, katetastic, has a surprise challenge for me awaiting the update of this epilogue and the finishing, completion, and closing of all my open stories (this and a Due South fan fiction, titled _Someone to Watch Over Me_, which I finished tonight!) I can't wait to see her challenge. I have no idea what she has planned, not even the category. So that's what I have planned to write next. It will not be posted until it is fully written, to prevent lack of updates or slow updates, especially if my back injury (which I've been dealing with since September) acts up to various degrees of pain. That's my main excuse for slow or no updates these days.

This chapter is dedicated to my faithful reviewers, chocolateluvr, broadwaylover07, and especially, my amazing, talented, beautiful beta, best friend, and partner-in-crime, katetastic, who helped me so much with writing this chapter. I could not have done this story without you. You are the only person who always is there to listen to me whine, complain, vent, and bitch (which is a lot of the time, even you gotta admit, LOL.) You are amazing. :) Thank you so, so much. I cannot say that enough. This story is for you.

I think that's pretty much all I have to say (as usual, really long author note, LOL), so please don't forget to review. I love feedback. Thanks. Look for some Twilight one-shots (and maybe a story or two) from me in the future. I'm also thinking about delving into the world of Harry Potter fan fiction, too. We'll see how much time I have and what persuades me first.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


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